
The Squeamish Vampire
Failed to add items
Add to Cart failed.
Add to Wish List failed.
Remove from wishlist failed.
Adding to library failed
Follow podcast failed
Unfollow podcast failed
$0.99/mo for the first 3 months

Buy for $6.95
No default payment method selected.
We are sorry. We are not allowed to sell this product with the selected payment method
-
Narrated by:
-
Jack Nolan
-
By:
-
Andrei Saygo
About this listen
From the author of the DC Coven series comes a witty, funny short story with plenty of action. And a hint of magic!
If you're looking for a book with unbelievably handsome and sparkly vampires, then it's not this one.
Meet Dave. Dave has been a vampire for two days. By accident. He thought the first day was fabulous; now, not so much. Dave is thirsty but can't stand the sight of human blood. Oh, what he wouldn't do for a pizza or a cheeseburger....
In his hunt, he meets James, a resident illusionist in one of the town's hotels. James has his own problem. He had met a witch at the local coffee shop, but in a moment of weakness, he refused her advances and fled. Now he badly wants to find her to ask for a second chance.
Together, they will form an unusual alliance and face a host of mundane and supernatural obstacles in their quest for the things they desire the most. Can they find them before sunrise?
©2021 Andrei Saygo (P)2021 Andrei SaygoListeners also enjoyed...
-
Cursed World Box Set: Books 1-3
- An Urban Fantasy Series
- By: Stephanie Foxe
- Narrated by: Amanda Dolan
- Length: 30 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Your neighbor is just as likely to be a vampire as they are to be a troll, human, elf, or a werewolf. Amber's parents never forgave her after her brother died. They were young and careless, but Amber left all that guilt in Texas when she fled to the pacific northwest to be a nurse. But when she decides to play hero, her life as a nurse is cut short. Newly turned wolves aren't easily trusted.
-
-
Not the full series
- By Kindle Customer on 12-03-20
By: Stephanie Foxe
-
Savior's Spell
- Spellcaster Series, Book 1
- By: Gwen Rivers
- Narrated by: Jacqueline Rendell
- Length: 8 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
If this is destiny, somebody goofed. Unable to save her family from the twisted ones, Emma Slade wants revenge. One problem, she has no real power and no clue how to get it. And then this big, sexy alphahole walks into her world.... Okay, maybe that's two problems. Now, the unlikely savior and reluctant werewolf must save New York. Because if the dark fae can take the life magic there, they can take it anywhere.
-
-
Savior's Spell
- By JKS on 06-19-20
By: Gwen Rivers
-
Shadow's Messenger
- Aileen Travers Series #1
- By: T. A. White
- Narrated by: Natasha Soudek
- Length: 11 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Life as Aileen knew it ended when she woke up in a morgue sporting a new set of fangs after a wild night out. Now, as a courier for the supernatural world, she balances figuring out this whole vampire thing with making enough to support her ice cream habit. When a job goes disastrously awry and ends with a body on the ground, Aileen finds herself in over her head as she draws the attention of a powerful creature intent on her death.
-
-
The story was great - narrator not so much
- By JLAJEF on 10-03-20
By: T. A. White
-
Fantastic Hope
- By: Laurell K. Hamilton - editor, William McCaskey - editor
- Narrated by: Kimberly Alexis, Holter Graham
- Length: 13 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
A child’s wish for her father comes true. The end of the world has never been so much fun. Conquering personal demons becomes all too real. It’s not always about winning; sometimes it’s about showing up for the fight. It’s about loving your life’s work, and jobs that make you question everything. In this anthology, 17 authors have woven together brand-new stories that speak to the darkness and despair that life brings while reminding us that good deeds, humor, love, sacrifice, dedication, and following our joy can ignite a light that burns so bright the darkness cannot last.
-
-
LOVE the concept
- By IreneMBBT on 04-20-20
By: Laurell K. Hamilton - editor, and others
-
Feathers and Fire Series: Books 1 - 3
- By: Shayne Silvers
- Narrated by: Nicole Poole
- Length: 28 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Who is Callie Penrose? They say she’s been kissed by Heaven - whatever the Hell that means. Because Callie was orphaned on the steps of a church in Kansas City, and doesn’t know her parents. She starts out as a rookie wizard who hunts monsters for the Vatican. Except…ironically, she’s never been a churchy kind of girl, and she quickly learns that monsters can reside anywhere. Even among the most devout.
-
-
Maybe start with Nate
- By Scout on 02-21-20
By: Shayne Silvers
-
Devil's Dream
- Shade of Devil, Book 1
- By: Shayne Silvers
- Narrated by: Charles Lawrence
- Length: 9 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Before the now-infamous Count Dracula ever tasted his first drop of blood, Sorin Ambrogio owned the night. Humanity fearfully called him the Devil. Cursed by the gods, Sorin spent centuries bathing Europe in oceans of blood with his best friends, Lucian and Nero, the world’s first Werewolf and Warlock - an unholy trinity if there ever was one. Until the three monsters grew weary of the carnage, choosing to leave it all behind and visit the brave New World across the ocean. As they befriended a Native American tribe, they quickly forgot that monsters can never escape their past.
-
-
inconsistent but not a horrible experience.
- By Maddaily on 01-02-20
By: Shayne Silvers
-
Cursed World Box Set: Books 1-3
- An Urban Fantasy Series
- By: Stephanie Foxe
- Narrated by: Amanda Dolan
- Length: 30 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Your neighbor is just as likely to be a vampire as they are to be a troll, human, elf, or a werewolf. Amber's parents never forgave her after her brother died. They were young and careless, but Amber left all that guilt in Texas when she fled to the pacific northwest to be a nurse. But when she decides to play hero, her life as a nurse is cut short. Newly turned wolves aren't easily trusted.
-
-
Not the full series
- By Kindle Customer on 12-03-20
By: Stephanie Foxe
-
Savior's Spell
- Spellcaster Series, Book 1
- By: Gwen Rivers
- Narrated by: Jacqueline Rendell
- Length: 8 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
If this is destiny, somebody goofed. Unable to save her family from the twisted ones, Emma Slade wants revenge. One problem, she has no real power and no clue how to get it. And then this big, sexy alphahole walks into her world.... Okay, maybe that's two problems. Now, the unlikely savior and reluctant werewolf must save New York. Because if the dark fae can take the life magic there, they can take it anywhere.
-
-
Savior's Spell
- By JKS on 06-19-20
By: Gwen Rivers
-
Shadow's Messenger
- Aileen Travers Series #1
- By: T. A. White
- Narrated by: Natasha Soudek
- Length: 11 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Life as Aileen knew it ended when she woke up in a morgue sporting a new set of fangs after a wild night out. Now, as a courier for the supernatural world, she balances figuring out this whole vampire thing with making enough to support her ice cream habit. When a job goes disastrously awry and ends with a body on the ground, Aileen finds herself in over her head as she draws the attention of a powerful creature intent on her death.
-
-
The story was great - narrator not so much
- By JLAJEF on 10-03-20
By: T. A. White
-
Fantastic Hope
- By: Laurell K. Hamilton - editor, William McCaskey - editor
- Narrated by: Kimberly Alexis, Holter Graham
- Length: 13 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
A child’s wish for her father comes true. The end of the world has never been so much fun. Conquering personal demons becomes all too real. It’s not always about winning; sometimes it’s about showing up for the fight. It’s about loving your life’s work, and jobs that make you question everything. In this anthology, 17 authors have woven together brand-new stories that speak to the darkness and despair that life brings while reminding us that good deeds, humor, love, sacrifice, dedication, and following our joy can ignite a light that burns so bright the darkness cannot last.
-
-
LOVE the concept
- By IreneMBBT on 04-20-20
By: Laurell K. Hamilton - editor, and others
-
Feathers and Fire Series: Books 1 - 3
- By: Shayne Silvers
- Narrated by: Nicole Poole
- Length: 28 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Who is Callie Penrose? They say she’s been kissed by Heaven - whatever the Hell that means. Because Callie was orphaned on the steps of a church in Kansas City, and doesn’t know her parents. She starts out as a rookie wizard who hunts monsters for the Vatican. Except…ironically, she’s never been a churchy kind of girl, and she quickly learns that monsters can reside anywhere. Even among the most devout.
-
-
Maybe start with Nate
- By Scout on 02-21-20
By: Shayne Silvers
-
Devil's Dream
- Shade of Devil, Book 1
- By: Shayne Silvers
- Narrated by: Charles Lawrence
- Length: 9 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Before the now-infamous Count Dracula ever tasted his first drop of blood, Sorin Ambrogio owned the night. Humanity fearfully called him the Devil. Cursed by the gods, Sorin spent centuries bathing Europe in oceans of blood with his best friends, Lucian and Nero, the world’s first Werewolf and Warlock - an unholy trinity if there ever was one. Until the three monsters grew weary of the carnage, choosing to leave it all behind and visit the brave New World across the ocean. As they befriended a Native American tribe, they quickly forgot that monsters can never escape their past.
-
-
inconsistent but not a horrible experience.
- By Maddaily on 01-02-20
By: Shayne Silvers
-
The Nate Temple Series: Books 0-3
- The Nate Temple Series Boxset Book 1
- By: Shayne Silvers
- Narrated by: Joel Richards
- Length: 41 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
My name is Nate Temple, and I’m secretly a wizard. I ride a foul-mouthed unicorn, I drink with Achilles, and I’m pals with the Four Horsemen. I’ve even cow-tipped the Minotaur. I understand the theory of following the rules...I’m just not very good at the application. Because rules were meant to be broken, and St. Louis has a bit of a supernatural infestation these days. Someone should probably be keeping an eye on these things -and probably an eye on me, too. Before I blow up another building...or three.
-
-
Basically Batman with lizard brain
- By Ross Hageman on 04-01-20
By: Shayne Silvers
-
It's Time for an Ambush
- Maker, Book 1
- By: Jester F. Bobbity
- Narrated by: Darryle Johnson
- Length: 11 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The world is infested with demons, vampires, and ghosts who clash with wizards on the fringes of society. Faced with these horrors, there's only one thing a small-time wizard can do: absolutely nothing. Doing something could get a man killed. Armed only with a modern view of magic, a snarky bloodthirsty apprentice, and no concept of the phrase "fair fight", Maker is far too weak to try and change the world. But then a new group of warlocks moves into the area with the goal of making his life more interesting....
-
-
Do not be fooled by the hokey cover!
- By Alex Sumner on 06-21-19
-
Dark Hunt
- Shadow and Light, Book 1
- By: Kim Richardson
- Narrated by: Rebecca Magnus
- Length: 8 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Broke and living in a one-bedroom apartment the size of a closet is not what you’d expect from an elite hunter like me. But hunting demons and half-breeds isn’t your average nine-to-five job with benefits. The hours are long and the pay usually sucks. I didn’t think I was going to make rent again until the Council, the group of angel-born who’d shunned me all those years ago, offered me a job - a paying one.I could either tell them to shove it, or take the job. So what’s a gal to do? Take the gig, of course.
-
-
Wow that was...
- By Mother Of Cats on 07-01-20
By: Kim Richardson
-
Blood from a Stone
- An After Darkness Falls Prequel (After Darkness Falls Series)
- By: May Sage
- Narrated by: Aiden Snow, Lucy Rivers
- Length: 2 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Viola Wild has spent the last hundred years scourging the world to find the heir to the Eirikrsen's legacy. She doesn't expect her latest inquiry to be fruitful. Thomas Miller is just a human. How could he be linked to the most ancient and terrifying line of vampire this world has ever known? She soon realizes, there's more to the man and to his charming little sister.
-
-
Gripping
- By Robin on 01-18-25
By: May Sage
-
Death Wish
- Reaper Reborn, Book One
- By: Harper A. Brooks
- Narrated by: Eugenie Danglar
- Length: 9 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Life’s a b*tch-but what comes after isn’t much better. Jade Blackwell, a paranormal reaper, helps supernaturals cross over after death. Her job comes with lots of rules-but not following them is kind of her thing...until it ends up involving her in something much deadlier than she ever imagined...With supernaturals everywhere in danger, and the balance between good and evil tipped for the worst, Jade must choose between her own eternal afterlife...or the living world she so desperately wants to be a part of. Either way, death is coming.
-
-
Really enjoyed
- By alias11 on 01-23-20
By: Harper A. Brooks
-
City of Night
- Secrets & Sin, Book 1
- By: Linsey Hall
- Narrated by: Laurel Schroeder
- Length: 6 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When I inherit a haunted bookstore in New Orleans, I go from demon hunter to my dream job. Unfortunately, there’s a dark side to my beautiful new life—the gorgeous demon who seems to think he owns the place. The attraction between us is insane, and we can’t keep our eyes off each other. But I don’t trust him one bit—especially not the way he uses his seductive charms to try to compel me to work for him.
-
-
Kept me interested from beginning to end
- By KCKC on 02-16-24
By: Linsey Hall
-
Shadow Guild
- Wolf Queen Complete Series
- By: Linsey Hall
- Narrated by: Laurel Schroeder
- Length: 25 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
I’m supposed to be the Alpha's mate. Screw that. Since I was born, I was destined to be one thing—the Alpha’s Mate. It should be every girl’s dream. Not mine, though. He’s too dark and damaged, and I’ve got a secret he can never know: I’m not a true wolf.
-
-
omg!!!
- By palomita on 07-20-23
By: Linsey Hall
-
Vengeance and Vampires
- The Complete Series Box Set
- By: Alicia Rades
- Narrated by: Candace Joice
- Length: 28 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
I'm Rachel Collins, low witch and raven shifter in hiding. I spend my days tending the cash register at a local magic shop and my nights patrolling the streets for vampires with a death wish. Until the night I spot the mark of the Soulless on some lowly vampire's wrist. The Soulless answer to Valkas, the original vampire and the most ruthless of them all. They’re the same bloodsuckers who murdered my parents and kidnapped my sister. I want answers — and maybe a little revenge.
-
-
Whiny protagonist
- By Watching and Reading on 09-24-20
By: Alicia Rades
-
The Vampire's Club: An M/M Vampire Romance (Book 1)
- By: X. Aratare
- Narrated by: Ethan Holtan
- Length: 2 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
What is that supposed to mean? Those are the words Lucas Daniels hears before stumbling through the brass doors of the elegant Club Dyavol, a club that seems to appear out of nowhere. The club is his last hope of getting a job to escape his predatory stepfather’s home. Who would dare enter a vampire’s sanctuary uninvited? Count Konstantin “The Wolf” Volk may be weakened by a curse, but he is still a primal predator. And when he sees a young man venture into his club, bypassing all of his magical and physical protections, more than just his curiosity is aroused.
-
-
Another Scam
- By Bruce D. Parker on 07-21-19
By: X. Aratare
-
Wolfpack
- Wolfpack, Book 1
- By: Cassius Lange
- Narrated by: Eric Michael Summerer
- Length: 14 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
I woke up in a battlefield triage tent, bloody, battered, and crippled. It wasn't just my arm and shoulder that was broken, but also my mind. I couldn't remember anything—my name, who or where I was, or what had happened to me. Could things get worse? Of course they could. The battle wasn’t over, and it appeared that our enemy wasn't content with just a victory. No. They sought to wipe us out. But why? If I lived long enough, perhaps I would find out.
-
-
real review here not sugar coated
- By MaDonna Wesberry on 05-12-22
By: Cassius Lange
-
Vampires Never Get Old
- Tales with Fresh Bite
- By: Zoraida Cordova - editor, Natalie C. Parker - editor
- Narrated by: Almarie Guerra, Frankie Corzo, MW Cartozian Wilson, and others
- Length: 8 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Thirsty for fresh blood? Sink your teeth into vampire stories from young adult fiction's leading voices. In this delicious new collection edited by Zoraida Córdova and Natalie C. Parker, you’ll find stories about the lurking vampires of social media, the rebellious vampires hungry for more than just blood, the eager vampires coming out - and going out for their first kill - and other bold, breathtaking, dangerous, dreamy, eerie, iconic, powerful creatures of the night.
-
-
Breezy vamp fun
- By jc on 01-26-23
By: Zoraida Cordova - editor, and others
-
Jekyll & Hyde Inc.
- By: Simon R. Green
- Narrated by: Gildart Jackson
- Length: 9 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Daniel Carter was a London cop who just wanted to do the right thing. But during a raid on an organ-selling chop shop, he is almost torn to pieces by monsters. And no one believes him. Hurt and crippled, his career over, and his life in ruins, Daniel is suddenly presented with a chance at redemption. And revenge. It seems that more than two centuries ago, the monsters of the world disappeared - into the underworld of crime. Guild-like clans now have control over all the dark and illegal trades.
-
-
Love Gildart Jackson but...
- By Arria on 09-15-21
By: Simon R. Green