
The New Rules of Marriage
What You Need to Know to Make Love Work
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Narrated by:
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Marc Cashman
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By:
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Terrence Real
About this listen
In this extraordinary audiobook, Terrence Real, distinguished therapist and best-selling author, presents a long overdue message that women need to hear: You aren’t crazy - you’re right! Women have changed in the last 25 years - they have become powerful, independent, self-confident, and happy. Yet many men remain irresponsible and emotionally detached. They don’t know how to respond to frustrated partners who just want their mates to show up and grow up.
Enter the good news: In this revolutionary audiobook, Real offers women a set of effective tools with which they can create the truly intimate relationship that they desire and deserve. He guides you through the process of relationship repair with exercises that you can do alone or with your partner.
We have never wanted so much from our relationships as we do today. More than any other generation, we yearn for our mates to be lifelong friends and lovers. The New Rules of Marriage shows us how to fulfill this courageous and uncompromising new vision.
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Critic reviews
“Terry Real helps overturn old-fashioned, confining roles and opens up a treasury of hope for lasting and exciting intimacy for couples everywhere. This is a wonderful, joyful, and highly useful book.” (Edward Hallowell, MD, author of Crazy Busy)
“Falling in love is easy, staying in love is another matter. Couples yearning for more closeness are truly in uncharted territory...until now, that is. This book offers amazing new insights about men and women and what it takes to make relationships work in our ever-changing culture.” (Michele Weiner-Davis, MSW, author of Divorce Busting)
“If you’re tired of the same old dance, get ready to learn a few new steps - real steps - the ones that will make a difference in your life and the lives of those you love.” (Cheryl Richardson, author of Life Makeovers)
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Following a unique format perfect for today's world, the renowned author of The Dance of Anger gives us just over 100 rules that cover all the hot spots in long-term relationships. Marriage Rules offers new solutions to age-old problems ("He won't talk"/"She doesn't want sex") as well as modern ones (your partner's relationship to technology.)
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Opened my eyes
- By Anonymous User on 12-27-22
By: Harriet Lerner
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Facing Codependence: What It Is, Where It Comes from, How It Sabotages Our Lives
- By: Pia Mellody, Andrea Wells Miller, J. Keith Miller
- Narrated by: Nathan McMillan
- Length: 6 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Pia Mellody creates a framework for identifying codependent thinking, emotions and behaviour and provides an effective approach to recovery. Mellody sets forth five primary adult symptoms of this crippling condition, then traces their origin to emotional, spiritual, intellectual, physical and sexual abuses that occur in childhood. Central to Mellody's approach is the concept that the codependent adult's injured inner child needs healing.
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Love the book, extremely dislike the type of readers voice chosen.
- By Molly Hamilton on 12-01-20
By: Pia Mellody, and others
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Fight Right
- How Successful Couples Turn Conflict Into Connection
- By: Julie Schwartz Gottman PhD, John Gottman PhD
- Narrated by: Roy Worley, Kiiri Sandy
- Length: 10 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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How we fight predicts the future of our relationships. Most of us blunder into conflict without knowing what we are really fighting about and then quickly become overwhelmed by physiological responses we can’t control and emotions we don’t anticipate. The truth is the happiest and most successful couples fight—all the time. Conflict is human, and necessary.
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Excellent summary of their research
- By Robert B. Davis on 02-28-24
By: Julie Schwartz Gottman PhD, and others
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The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
- A Practical Guide from the Country’s Foremost Relationship Expert, Revised and Updated
- By: John M. Gottman PhD, Nan Silver
- Narrated by: Eric Michael Summerer
- Length: 10 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Just as Masters and Johnson were pioneers in the study of human sexuality, so Dr. John Gottman has revolutionized the study of marriage. As a professor of psychology at the University of Washington and the founder and director of the Seattle Marital and Family Institute, he has studied the habits of married couples in unprecedented detail over the course of many years. His findings, and his heavily attended workshops, have already turned around thousands of faltering marriages.
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not a good audiobook
- By jynlyn on 09-02-20
By: John M. Gottman PhD, and others
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Wired for Love (Second Edition)
- How Understanding Your Partner's Brain and Attachment Style Can Help You Defuse Conflict and Build a Secure Relationship
- By: Stan Tatkin PsyD MFT, Harville Hendrix PhD - foreword
- Narrated by: Stan Tatkin
- Length: 9 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Every person is wired for love differently—with different habits, needs, and reactions to conflict. The good news is that most people's minds work in predictable ways and respond well to security, attachment, and routines, making it possible to neurologically prime the brain for greater love and connection and fewer conflicts. This go-to guide will show you how.
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Really helpful book
- By Lilly on 08-07-24
By: Stan Tatkin PsyD MFT, and others
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Eight Dates
- Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love
- By: John Gottman PhD, Julie Schwartz Gottman PhD, Doug Abrams, and others
- Narrated by: James Patrick Cronin, Julie McKay
- Length: 5 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Navigating the challenges of long-term commitment takes effort - and it just got simpler, with this empowering, step-by-step guide to communicating about the things that matter most to you and your partner. Drawing on 40 years of research from their world-famous Love Lab, Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman invite couples on eight fun, easy, and profoundly rewarding dates, each one focused on a make-or-break issue: trust, conflict, sex, money, family, adventure, spirituality, and dreams.
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What the F. Robot-reader???!?!?!
- By Anonymous User on 01-21-20
By: John Gottman PhD, and others
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The Will to Change
- Men, Masculinity, and Love
- By: bell hooks, Ross Gay
- Narrated by: Janina Edwards
- Length: 6 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Everyone needs to love and be loved - even men. But to know love, men must be able to look at the ways that patriarchal culture keeps them from knowing themselves, from being in touch with their feelings, from loving. In The Will to Change, bell hooks gets to the heart of the matter and shows men how to express the emotions that are a fundamental part of who they are - whatever their age, marital status, ethnicity, or sexual orientation.
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A unique call to an ethic of creative love
- By Forrest Aldridge on 09-26-20
By: bell hooks, and others
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Facing Love Addiction
- Giving Yourself the Power to Change the Way You Love
- By: Pia Mellody, Andrea Wells Miller, Keith J. Miller
- Narrated by: Nathan McMillan
- Length: 5 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Through 12-step work, exercises, and journal-keeping, Facing Love Addiction compassionately and realistically outlines the recovery process for love addicts. Mellody’s fresh perspective and clear methods work to comfort and motivate all those looking to establish and maintain healthy, happy relationships.
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The only book you will ever need on love addiction!
- By Becky on 07-12-20
By: Pia Mellody, and others
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The All-or-Nothing Marriage
- How the Best Marriages Work
- By: Eli J. Finkel
- Narrated by: Mark Deakins
- Length: 8 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Eli J. Finkel's insightful and ground-breaking investigation of marriage clearly shows that the best marriages today are better than the best marriages of earlier eras. Indeed, they are the best marriages the world has ever known. He presents his findings here for the first time in this lucid, inspiring guide to modern marital bliss.
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just read the fourth section
- By James Caviness on 01-04-18
By: Eli J. Finkel
What listeners say about The New Rules of Marriage
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- Alicya
- 10-03-16
Feedback
Ummm
The book is a must read for all couples who r still married or were married. The author was bold outright and in your face on identifying painful issues.
I liked it and when I found out Terence was from NJ - same here - I liked it even better.
I just ended an engagement 2 marriage - we lived together for 2.5 yrs. The book was recommended to me by my therapist right after the break up.
It was a godsend.
I passed the book along to 5 friends.
Defn a must read.
A. Simmons
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2 people found this helpful
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- Jeremy Buck
- 04-18-17
I've read a lot
This is one of the best. His work is founded upon Pia Mellody. Very practical.
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- EarthMother
- 03-04-14
great insight - well done
Would you consider the audio edition of The New Rules of Marriage to be better than the print version?
don't know
What did you like best about this story?
great real life examples
What does Marc Cashman bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?
can't read a book in the car
What insight do you think you’ll apply from The New Rules of Marriage?
how to bring up a conflict in a non-threating way, express where it lead your thinking, express how it made you feel, ask for what you would like. Then let it go.
Last part is the hardest - not to be attached to the outcome
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- Agnieszka
- 11-28-22
The best relationship book I’ve ever heard!
Professional, easily understood with good examples and a pleasure to listen too. I will listen to it again.
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- Amazon Customer
- 06-30-23
Great book
Lots of great informations and tool to use to strengthen and improve marriages . Loved it
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- Gabriel
- 09-22-16
Changed my marriage!
My wife and I struggled for years with what seemed like insurmountable issues in our marriage. So many deep seeded hurts and scars. We were on the verge of divorce when we started looking for counselors, and had little success for a good long while. We finally found a great counselor that recommended this book right away. Things turned around for us in weeks! It's amazing hearing our struggles echoed through the author's case study's. The book opened our eyes to the real struggle behind our issues. We learned how to see each other in a whole new light. This book gave us the tools we so desperately needed to finally understand each other, and learn to speak each other's love languages, and avoid pitfalls (that in the heat of the moment might seem like the rite course of action or tone to take, but only lead to more hurt).
We continually return, and reread the book to brush up. If you are struggling in a marriage or relationship, and are serious about working towards healing and loving each other again, you can't go wrong with The New Rules of Marriage. It absolutely saved my marriage, and we are so much stronger than we were before. I can't stress it enough, get this book. If you take it go heart, and really put these practices in to you're relationship, you can't help but succeed. If I ever meet Terrence in real life, I will give him the biggest man hug ever!
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19 people found this helpful
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- Todd
- 11-23-20
Another great work!
I first heard of Terry Real from the Minnesota Mens Conference, which was started by the American literary icon, Robert Bly. Terry had done a workshop with this organization about Grandiosity and Shame. I recommend that Illuminated discussion. I also recommend Terrys first best seller, I Don't Want To Talk About It, speaking on depression in Men.
The New Rules of Marriage is right up there with all the juggernauts in the self care literature. Terrys writing tone is warm, assertive when need be, caring, compassionate and liberating. His work in this book will sound to the resistant listener as one-sided at times for the woman. His approach is to empower the least powerful in the relationship which, unfortunately, is mostly women. This is by no means though a flimsy new age solution to 21st century marriage. This book feels familiar to the works of Melody Beattie, Pia Mellody, Gary Chapman and many more.
Terry's words are refreshing as we move into an age where social justice is changing, and women's contribution to our country is more valued. The marriage is the microcosm of how the country gets along with each other. If we become more transparent, open minded, loving, compassionate, less selfish, and responsive to our partner then we can expand this behavior onto the country. This book helped me tremendously and I think it can help everyone understand their partner in a new liberating way.
The person you made a commitment to on the altar should be the most important person in your life next to yourself. We can work past our parents marital misgivings and learn a new way to cherish each other. In this way, you change, your marriage changes, and your spiritual connection to yourself becomes stronger. The old ancestral abuses stop with you.
Let's heal.
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- standalone
- 04-26-23
A must read for heathy relationships
I’d definitely put this in my top 10 best books ever written about how to obtain healthy marriage relationships,
Definitely a must read before and after marriage.
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- Russell Mionie
- 10-19-24
powerful tools to communicate!
Towards the end of the book I began to understand the big picture of what it's like to have healthy functional and productive communication in the relationships that matter most.
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- J. Minne
- 11-21-20
The most comprehensive and useful couples look out there right now
I’m 30 books and 4therapists down this road and this is a good comprehensive map for where to move forward. I appreciate the good attribution to other excellent authors like Gottman etc.
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