
The Harder I Fight the More I Love You
A Memoir
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Narrated by:
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Neko Case
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By:
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Neko Case
About this listen
From a beloved Grammy-nominated musician, a "heartbreaking and funny" memoir of a poverty-stricken childhood, obsessive desires, and indispensable friendships that reflects on the way art and music and a deep connection to nature guided her journey towards stardom (Maggie Smith, NYT bestselling author of You Could Make This Place Beautiful).
Neko Case has long been revered as one of music’s most influential artists, whose authenticity, lyrical storytelling, and sly wit have endeared her to a legion of critics, musicians, and lifelong fans. In THE HARDER I FIGHT THE MORE I LOVE YOU, Case brings her trademark candor and precision to a memoir that traces her evolution from an invisible girl “raised by two dogs and a space heater” in rural Washington state to her improbable emergence as an internationally acclaimed talent.
In luminous, sharp-edged prose, Case shows listeners what it’s like to be left alone for hours and hours as a child, to take refuge in the woods around her home, and to channel the monotony and loneliness and joy that comes from music, camaraderie, and shared experience into art.
THE HARDER I FIGHT THE MORE I LOVE YOU is a rebellious meditation on identity and corruption, and a manifesto on how to make space for ourselves in this world, despite the obstacles we face.
©2025 Neko Case (P)2025 Grand Central PublishingListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
“Reader, I really want to hand this book to you personally and tell you, in one excited rush, how much it moved me. THE HARDER I FIGHT THE MORE I LOVE YOU is a hell of an origin story: heartbreaking and funny, brave and weird, hard to swallow and impossible to put down. Neko Case has been my favorite singer-songwriter for many years, hands down, and now she’s written one of my favorite memoirs.”—Maggie Smith, New York Times bestselling author of You Could Make This Place Beautiful
"This is a fierce, funny, moving memoir that will break your heart and patch it back up. Case's writing is as piercing and beautiful as her gorgeous singing, and will carry you away completely."—New York Times bestselling author Susan Orlean
"A vivid, exuberant, heartrending coming-of-age story that demonstrates the saving power of art. This book captured me the way Case's songs do: with their ache and beauty and promise that the only way through this life is to feel it all."—Melissa Febos, author of Girlhood, winner of the National Book Critics Circle Award in Criticism
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Story
Karen Fine always knew that she wanted to be a vet and wasn't going to let anything stop her: not her allergy to cats, and not the fact that in the '80s veterinary medicine was still a mostly male profession. Inspired by her grandfather, a compassionate doctor who paid house calls to all his (human) patients, Dr. Fine persevered, and brought her Oupa's principles into her own practice, which emphasizes the need to understand her patients’ stories to provide the best possible care.
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Average
- By Glen I. on 04-02-23
By: Karen Fine
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Shy
- The Alarmingly Outspoken Memoirs of Mary Rodgers
- By: Mary Rodgers, Jesse Green
- Narrated by: Christine Baranski, Jesse Green
- Length: 15 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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“What am I, bologna?” Mary Rodgers (1931-2014) often said. She was referring to being stuck in the middle of a talent sandwich: the daughter of one composer and the mother of another. And not just any composers. Her father was Richard Rodgers, perhaps the greatest American melodist; her son, Adam Guettel, a worthy successor. What that leaves out is Mary herself, also a composer, whose musical Once Upon a Mattress remains one of the rare revivable Broadway hits written by a woman. Shy is the story of how it all happened.
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What a fun book!
- By Erik B. Rinderle on 09-17-23
By: Mary Rodgers, and others
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Not Too Late
- The Power of Pushing Limits at Any Age
- By: Gwendolyn Bounds
- Narrated by: Gwendolyn Bounds
- Length: 9 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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In her midforties, Gwendolyn Bounds attended a dinner party where someone asked a little girl: “What do you want to be when you grow up?” It struck Bounds: In middle age, no one asks you that anymore. So she put the question to herself. The answer set her on an unexpected five-year path of transformation from an unathletic office executive glued to her screens to an age-group medalist and world championship competitor in obstacle course racing—a demanding military-style sport requiring speed, endurance, mobility, and strength.
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True inspiration
- By Amazon Customer on 06-10-25
By: Gwendolyn Bounds
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Beyond the Mountain
- By: Steve House, Reinhold Messner - foreword
- Narrated by: Steve House
- Length: 8 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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What does it take to be one of the world's best high-altitude mountain climbers? A lot of fundraising; traveling in some of the world's most dangerous countries; enduring cold bivouacs, searing lungs, and a cloudy mind when you can least afford one. It means learning the hard lessons the mountains teach. Steve House built his reputation on ascents throughout the Alps, Canada, Alaska, the Karakoram, and the Himalaya that have expanded possibilities of style, speed, and difficulty.
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A life-changing book
- By barbudo on 05-02-18
By: Steve House, and others
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How to Live Free in a Dangerous World
- A Decolonial Memoir
- By: Shayla Lawson
- Narrated by: Shayla Lawson
- Length: 8 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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In their new book, Shayla Lawson reveals how traveling can itself be a political act, when it can be a dangerous world to be Black, femme, nonbinary, and disabled. With their signature prose, at turns bold, muscular, and luminous, Shayla Lawson travels the world to explore deeper meanings held within love, time, and the self.
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Vulnerable and honest
- By Kinga on 11-26-24
By: Shayla Lawson
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32 Yolks
- From My Mother's Table to Working the Line
- By: Eric Ripert, Veronica Chambers
- Narrated by: Peter Ganim
- Length: 7 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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In an industry where celebrity chefs are known as much for their salty talk and quick tempers as their food, Eric Ripert stands out. The winner of four James Beard Awards, co-owner and chef of a world-renowned restaurant, and recipient of countless Michelin stars, Ripert embodies elegance and culinary perfection. But before the accolades, before he even knew how to make a proper hollandaise sauce, Eric Ripert was a lonely young boy in the south of France whose life was falling apart.
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Every aspiring cook needs to read this
- By PatrickV on 07-01-16
By: Eric Ripert, and others
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Go See the Principal
- True Tales from the School Trenches
- By: Gerry Brooks
- Narrated by: Gerry Brooks, Angela Gonzales
- Length: 5 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Gerry Brooks is an elementary school principal turned YouTube celebrity who entertains K-12 teachers, administrators, and parents across the country. He tells jokes with the kind of mocking humor that gets a laugh yet can be safely shared in school. After all, even great schools have bad days - when lesson plans fall through, disgruntled parents complain, kids throw temper tantrums because they have to use the same spoon for their applesauce and mashed potatoes, and, of course, dealing with...The Horror! The Horror!...dreaded assessments.
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Excellent!
- By Lady Dorminey on 07-06-19
By: Gerry Brooks
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The Feather Thief
- Beauty, Obsession, and the Natural History Heist of the Century
- By: Kirk Wallace Johnson
- Narrated by: MacLeod Andrews
- Length: 8 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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On a cool June evening in 2009, after performing a concert at London's Royal Academy of Music, 20-year-old American flautist Edwin Rist boarded a train for a suburban outpost of the British Museum of Natural History. Home to one of the largest ornithological collections in the world, the Tring museum was full of rare bird specimens whose gorgeous feathers were worth staggering amounts of money to the men who shared Edwin's obsession: the Victorian art of salmon fly-tying. Once inside the museum, the champion fly-tier grabbed hundreds of bird skins - some collected 150 years earlier.
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Unusual and true natural history mystery!
- By Sylvia on 04-28-18
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Unfinished
- A Memoir
- By: Priyanka Chopra Jonas
- Narrated by: Priyanka Chopra Jonas
- Length: 8 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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A remarkable life story rooted in two different worlds, Unfinished offers insights into Priyanka Chopra Jonas’s childhood in India; her formative teenage years in the United States; and her return to India, where against all odds as a newcomer to the pageant world, she won the national and international beauty competitions that launched her global acting career. Whether reflecting on her nomadic early years or the challenges she has faced as she has doggedly pursued her calling, Priyanka shares her challenges and triumphs with warmth and honesty.
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Can I get a refund even if this was free?
- By Jennie on 08-09-22
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Comfort in Darkness
- The Invisible Power of Jiu Jitsu
- By: Rickson Gracie, Peter Maguire - contributor
- Narrated by: Fred Sanders
- Length: 5 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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A mythic figure in fighting and a legendary member of the “first family of martial arts,” Rickson Gracie is considered the godfather of what we recognize today as Mixed Martial Arts (MMA). Although Rickson’s three decades of total dominance in Jiu Jitsu is astounding, even more astounding is the serenity and spiritual depth of his approach to combat. For Rickson, Jiu Jitsu is a metaphor for life. Some consider Jiu Jitsu a martial art, others consider it a sport, but to Gracie, it is a philosophical system he uses to face and evaluate life’s challenges and maintain happiness and mental balance.
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Basically a rewrite of, “Breathe”.
- By Reece on 11-20-24
By: Rickson Gracie, and others
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Burro Genius
- A Memoir
- By: Victor Villaseñor
- Narrated by: Robert Fass
- Length: 11 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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When Victor Villaseñor stood at the podium and looked at the group of teachers amassed before him, he became enraged. He had never spoken in public before. His mind was flooded with childhood memories filled with humiliation, misunderstanding, and abuse at the hands of his teachers. With his heart pounding, he began to speak of these incidents. To his disbelief, the teachers before him responded to his embittered recollection with a standing ovation. Many could not contain their own tears.
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The VERY WORST NARRATOR EVER!
- By DIANE ELLIS on 02-20-20
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Flirting with Danger
- The Mysterious Life of Marguerite Harrison, Socialite Spy
- By: Janet Wallach
- Narrated by: Saskia Maarleveld
- Length: 9 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Born a privileged child of America’s Gilded Age, Marguerite Harrison rebelled against her mother’s ambitions, married the man she loved, was widowed at thirty-seven, and set off on a life of adventure. Hired as a society reporter, when America entered World War I she applied to Military Intelligence to work as a spy. Over a decade, Harrison’s mysterious adventures took her to Europe, Baghdad, and the Far East, as a socialite, secret agent, and documentary filmmaker. Janet Wallach captures Harrison’s daring and glamour in this stranger-than-fiction history of a woman drawn to the impossible.
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Interesting story bogged down by monotony of tone and pacing
- By brian on 10-16-23
By: Janet Wallach
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The Actor's Life
- A Survival Guide
- By: Jenna Fischer
- Narrated by: Jenna Fischer, Rainn Wilson
- Length: 7 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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Jenna Fischer's Hollywood journey began at the age of 22 when she moved to Los Angeles from her hometown of St. Louis. She was determined, confident, and ready to work hard. So, what could go wrong? Uh, basically everything. The path to being a professional actor was so much more vast and competitive than she’d imagined. It would be eight long years before she landed her iconic role on The Office, nearly a decade of frustration, rejection, and doubt. If only she’d had a handbook for the aspiring actor. Or, better yet, someone to show her the way. Jenna wants to be that person for you.
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OMG THE INTRO! lol
- By Katelyn on 12-22-17
By: Jenna Fischer
Thank you for saying all of it.
Tremendous!
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The richest prose
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Neko Case is a feminist icon!
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Thank you Neko
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Her honest voice throws down a clear message of endurance & hope, a force to embrace!
Loved it! Powerful!
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Great Memoir
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The pleasure of having read by the author
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by her voice and music for quite some time. This was a great memior.
If you ever wondered ...
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Nothing short of honest
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Horse Sister riding through sound waves
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