
Stories I'd Tell in Bars
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Narrated by:
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Jen Lancaster
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John Fletcher
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By:
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Jen Lancaster
About this listen
Unfiltered. Unapologetic. Older, but not wiser, Lancaster goes back to basics in this hilarious essay collection about everything from taking community policing classes to accidentally getting high with her waiter after a fancy dinner. These are the tales she'd tell if she met you in a bar... if she weren't too lazy to put on pants and go to a bar. Offering advice ranging from how to remain happily married to a man who refuses to blow his damn nose already to not creating An Incident at the cheese counter during an attempt at Whole30, she's you, only louder. As she details the chaos that will surely ensue if she has to learn to operate one more television remote control, you'll want to settle in and pour yourself a tall one. Because what's more fun than hearing a friend share her favorite stories?
©2017 by Jennifer Lancaster. (P)2019 Brilliance Publishing, Inc., published by arrangement with Folio Literary Management.Listeners also enjoyed...
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Jen Lancaster is here to take a hard look at our elevating anxieties, and with self-deprecating wit and levelheaded wisdom, she charts a path out of the quagmire that keeps us frightened of the future and ashamed of our imperfectly perfect human lives. Take a deep breath, and her advice, and you just might get through a holiday dinner without wanting to disown your uncle.
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Not relatable
- By shelly on 11-03-20
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The perfect follow up
- By Anonymous User on 04-07-21
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Hilarious and sincere
- By B. Bazzell on 09-06-23
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The Woman in Me
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In June 2021, the whole world was listening as Britney Spears spoke in open court. The impact of sharing her voice—her truth—was undeniable, and it changed the course of her life and the lives of countless others. The Woman in Me reveals for the first time her incredible journey—and the strength at the core of one of the greatest performers in pop music history. Written with remarkable candor and humor, Spears’s groundbreaking book illuminates the enduring power of music and love—and the importance of a woman telling her own story, on her own terms, at last.
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Lack of transparency
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New York Times best-selling author Jen Lancaster has lived a life based on re-invention and self-improvement. From Bitter Is the New Black to The Tao of Martha, she’s managed to document her (and her generation’s) attempts to shape up, grow up, and have it all - sometimes with disastrous results...Mistakes are one thing; regrets are another. After a girls’ weekend in Savannah makes her realize that she is - yikes! - middle-aged (binge watching is so the new binge drinking), Jen decides to make a bucket list and seize the day.
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The Smug Is Strong With This One
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Jeneration X
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Super Jen Lancaster Fans Be Warned...
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Welcome to the United States of Anxiety
- Observations from a Reforming Neurotic
- By: Jen Lancaster
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- Length: 8 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Jen Lancaster is here to take a hard look at our elevating anxieties, and with self-deprecating wit and levelheaded wisdom, she charts a path out of the quagmire that keeps us frightened of the future and ashamed of our imperfectly perfect human lives. Take a deep breath, and her advice, and you just might get through a holiday dinner without wanting to disown your uncle.
-
-
Not relatable
- By shelly on 11-03-20
By: Jen Lancaster
-
Broken (in the Best Possible Way)
- By: Jenny Lawson
- Narrated by: Jenny Lawson
- Length: 8 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
As Jenny Lawson’s hundreds of thousands of fans know, she suffers from depression. In Broken (in the Best Possible Way), Jenny brings listeners along on her mental and physical health journey, offering heartbreaking and hilarious anecdotes along the way. With people experiencing anxiety and depression now more than ever, Jenny humanizes what we all face in an all-too-real way, reassuring us that we’re not alone and making us laugh while doing it.
-
-
The perfect follow up
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By: Jenny Lawson
-
Sure, I'll Join Your Cult
- A Memoir of Mental Illness and the Quest to Belong Anywhere
- By: Maria Bamford
- Narrated by: Maria Bamford
- Length: 7 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Maria Bamford is a comedian’s comedian (an outsider among outsiders) and has forever fought to find a place to belong. From struggling with an eating disorder as a child of the 1980s, to navigating a career in the arts (and medical debt and psychiatric institutionalization), she has tried just about every method possible to not only be a part of the world, but to want to be a part of it. In Bamford’s “trademark blend of disarming intimacy and dark whimsy” (Publishers Weekly), Sure, I’ll Join Your Cult brings us on a quest to participate in something.
-
-
Hilarious and sincere
- By B. Bazzell on 09-06-23
By: Maria Bamford
-
The Woman in Me
- By: Britney Spears
- Narrated by: Michelle Williams, Britney Spears - introduction
- Length: 5 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In June 2021, the whole world was listening as Britney Spears spoke in open court. The impact of sharing her voice—her truth—was undeniable, and it changed the course of her life and the lives of countless others. The Woman in Me reveals for the first time her incredible journey—and the strength at the core of one of the greatest performers in pop music history. Written with remarkable candor and humor, Spears’s groundbreaking book illuminates the enduring power of music and love—and the importance of a woman telling her own story, on her own terms, at last.
-
-
Lack of transparency
- By Lori K on 10-31-23
By: Britney Spears
-
I Regret Nothing
- A Memoir
- By: Jen Lancaster
- Narrated by: Jen Lancaster
- Length: 9 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
New York Times best-selling author Jen Lancaster has lived a life based on re-invention and self-improvement. From Bitter Is the New Black to The Tao of Martha, she’s managed to document her (and her generation’s) attempts to shape up, grow up, and have it all - sometimes with disastrous results...Mistakes are one thing; regrets are another. After a girls’ weekend in Savannah makes her realize that she is - yikes! - middle-aged (binge watching is so the new binge drinking), Jen decides to make a bucket list and seize the day.
-
-
The Smug Is Strong With This One
- By T. Filowitz on 05-24-15
By: Jen Lancaster
-
Jeneration X
- One Reluctant Adult's Attempt to Unarrest Her Arrested Development; Or, Why It's Never Too Late for Her Dumb Ass to Learn Why Froot Loops Are Not for Dinner
- By: Jen Lancaster
- Narrated by: Jen Lancaster
- Length: 7 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In Such a Pretty Fat, Jen Lancaster learned how to come to terms with her body. In My Fair Lazy, she expanded her mind. Now, the New York Times best-selling author gives herself - and her generation - a kick in the X, by facing her greatest challenge to date: acting her age. Jen is finally ready to put away childish things (except her Barbie Styling Head, of course) and embrace the investment-making, mortgage-carrying, life insurance-having adult she's become.
-
-
Super Jen Lancaster Fans Be Warned...
- By Amazon Customer on 05-02-12
By: Jen Lancaster
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Housemoms
- A Novel
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- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
How fast can charity fundraiser CeCe Barclay’s unimpeachable society life come tumbling down? One minute she’s speaking before Chicago’s glitterati. The next, her financier husband is wanted for embezzlement. Her assets seized and her fall mortifyingly public, CeCe grasps for refuge—and employment—as a sorority housemom at Eli Whitney University, her daughter Hayden’s alma mater.
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Had potential, but fell flat
- By Desiree Paulhamus on 01-04-25
By: Jen Lancaster
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The Tao of Martha
- My Year of LIVING; Or, Why I'm Never Getting All That Glitter Off of the Dog
- By: Jen Lancaster
- Narrated by: Jen Lancaster
- Length: 8 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
One would think that with Jen Lancaster’s impressive list of bestselling self-improvement memoirs that she would have it all together by now. One would be wrong. Jen’s still a little rough around the edges. Suffice it to say, she’s no Martha Stewart. And that is exactly why Jen is going to Martha up and live her life according to the advice of America’s overachieving older sister - the woman who turns lemons into lavender-infused lemonade.
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Not as light as previous books, still witty
- By Dogs & Horses on 05-10-15
By: Jen Lancaster
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The Best of Enemies
- By: Jen Lancaster
- Narrated by: Julia Whelan, Emily Rankin
- Length: 11 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Bridesmaids meets Big Little Lies in a novel told from the alternating perspectives of two women who define the term frenemies - from New York Times best-selling author Jen Lancaster. Jacqueline Jordan knows conflict. A fearless journalist, she’s spent the past decade embedded in the world’s hot spots, writing about the fall of nations and the rise of despots. But if you were to inquire about who topped Jack’s enemy list, she’d not hesitate to answer: Kitty Carricoe.
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Unexpected pleasure with engaging dialgoue
- By Anne A. Kennedy on 09-14-15
By: Jen Lancaster
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Starter Villain
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 8 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Inheriting your uncle's supervillain business is more complicated than you might think. Particularly when you discover who's running the place. Charlie's life is going nowhere fast. A divorced substitute teacher living with his cat in a house his siblings want to sell, all he wants is to open a pub downtown, if only the bank will approve his loan. Then his long-lost uncle Jake dies and leaves his supervillain business (complete with island volcano lair) to Charlie. But becoming a supervillain isn't all giant laser death rays and lava pits.
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Volcanic Lairs, Death Rays & Cats… Oh My! 😼
- By C. White on 09-19-23
By: John Scalzi
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My Fair Lazy
- One Reality Television Addict's Attempt to Discover If Not Being a Dumb Ass Is t he New Black, or, a Culture-Up Manifesto
- By: Jen Lancaster
- Narrated by: Jamie Heinlein
- Length: 9 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Readers and listeners have followed Jen Lancaster through job loss, sucky city living, weight loss attempts, and 1980s nostalgia. Now Jen chronicles her efforts to achieve cultural enlightenment, with some hilarious missteps and genuine moments of inspiration along the way. And she does so by any means necessary: reading canonical literature, viewing classic films, attending the opera, researching artisan cheeses, and even enrolling in etiquette classes to improve her social graces.
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Disappointing ... Both Narration and Story
- By Jennifer on 05-06-12
By: Jen Lancaster
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Pretty in Plaid
- By: Jen Lancaster
- Narrated by: Jamie Heinlein
- Length: 7 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In Pretty in Plaid, Jen Lancaster reveals how she developed the hubris that perpetually gets her into trouble. Using fashion icons of her youth to tell her hilarious and insightful stories, readers will meet the girl she used to be. Jen Lancaster was a badge-hungry Junior Girl Scout with a knack for extortion, an aspiring sorority girl who didn't know her Coach from her Louis Vuitton, and a budding executive who found herself bewildered by her first encounter with a fax machine.
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She Always Makes Me Laugh
- By Debra Garfinkle on 04-01-13
By: Jen Lancaster
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By the Numbers
- By: Jen Lancaster
- Narrated by: Allyson Ryan
- Length: 8 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Actuary Penny Sinclair has a head for business, and she always makes rational decisions. Knowing that 60 percent of spouses cheat and 50 percent of marriages end in divorce, she wasn't too surprised when her husband had an affair. (That he did so with a woman their daughter's age? Well, that part did sting a bit.) She just made sure she got everything in the divorce, including their lovely old Victorian house. And as soon as her younger daughter has her hipster-fabulous wedding in the backyard, she's trading it in for a condo in downtown Chicago....
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Narrator is bland, slow. Story is good.
- By Dogs & Horses on 07-10-16
By: Jen Lancaster
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Such a Pretty Fat
- One Narcissist's Quest to Discover If Her Life Makes Her Ass Look Big, Or Why Pi e Is Not the Answer
- By: Jen Lancaster
- Narrated by: Jamie Heinlein
- Length: 8 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
To whom the fat rolls...I'm tired of books where a self-loathing heroine is teased to the point where she starves herself skinny in hopes of a fabulous new life. And I hate the message that women can't possibly be happy until we all fit into our skinny jeans. I don't find these stories uplifting; they make me want to hug these women and take them out for fizzy champagne drinks and cheesecake and explain to them that until they figure out their insides, their outsides don't matter.
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Hilarious Commentary on Weight Loss!
- By Sara on 09-21-09
By: Jen Lancaster
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I Choose Darkness
- A Holiday Essay
- By: Jenny Lawson
- Narrated by: Jenny Lawson
- Length: 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
The holly-jolly holidays aren’t for everyone, least of all when you look back on that one Christmas when there were two definitely haunted dolls waiting for you and your sister under the tree. You have to assume that’s where it all started. And so it was for Jenny Lawson. Now, she lives in the land of eternal Halloween, as evidenced by her interior decor and general state of darkness. (Although, if you ask her, her taxidermy zoo is less dark, more delightful. But not everyone has taste, so what are you going to do?)
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Audiobook Treat, Delightful, Short Listen. Laughed out loud and smiled!
- By Amanda Messina on 10-19-22
By: Jenny Lawson
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Excuse Me While I Disappear
- Tales of Midlife Mayhem
- By: Laurie Notaro
- Narrated by: Hillary Huber
- Length: 5 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Laurie Notaro has proved everyone wrong: she didn’t end up in rehab, prison, or cremated at a tender age. She just went gray. At past fifty, every hair’s root is a symbol of knowledge (she knows how to use a landline), experience (she rode in a car with no seat belts), and superpowers (a gray-haired lady can get away with anything). Though navigating midlife is initially upsetting—the cracking noises coming from her new old body, receiving regular junk mail from mortuaries—Laurie accepts it. And then some.
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Meh. Maybe funnier with a different narrator
- By TK on 12-19-22
By: Laurie Notaro
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We Are Never Meeting in Real Life
- Essays
- By: Samantha Irby
- Narrated by: Samantha Irby
- Length: 9 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Whether Samantha Irby is talking about how her difficult childhood has led to a problem in making “adult” budgets; explaining why she should be the new Bachelorette; detailing a disastrous pilgrimage-slash-romantic-vacation to Nashville to scatter her estranged father’s ashes; sharing awkward sexual encounters; or dispensing advice on how to navigate friendships with former drinking buddies who are now suburban moms (hang in there for the Costco loot!); she’s as deft at poking fun at the ghosts of her past self as she is at capturing powerful emotional truths.
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There, But For The Grace Of God
- By Anthony Robertson on 11-20-17
By: Samantha Irby
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Apples Never Fall
- By: Liane Moriarty
- Narrated by: Caroline Lee
- Length: 18 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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The Delaneys are fixtures in their community. The parents, Stan and Joy, are the envy of all of their friends. They’re killers on the tennis court, and off it their chemistry is palpable. But after 50 years of marriage, they’ve finally sold their famed tennis academy and are ready to start what should be the golden years of their lives. So why are Stan and Joy so miserable?
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I wanted to love this BUT.....
- By Mary on 09-27-21
By: Liane Moriarty
What listeners say about Stories I'd Tell in Bars
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- Elaine Duncan
- 04-27-19
Love Jen’s memoirs
I live for Jen Lancaster‘s books! She makes me laugh out loud. As a dog foster mom and mom to a “bully breed” dog, I love hearing stories about her pets.
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- Dayna A. Safranek
- 10-11-19
Jen Lancaster does it again!
I’ve been a huge Jen Lancaster fan and have read every one of her books and also have this one in print, but when I saw that it was actually read by her and parts by Fletch, I couldn’t resist listening instead of reading. I really enjoyed this. Jen has a very effective speaking voice as does Fletch. The book flowed easily and I was laughing and relating as were not very far apart in age and I guess I fit perfectly with her humor. I get her because my humor is a lot like her. If you like Jen Lancaster’s books, you will enjoy this book. It’s a fun and lighthearted side of Lancaster mixed with a little serious and a dash of heart. The perfect cocktail.
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3 people found this helpful
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- Erin
- 06-14-24
She’s funny and that’s nice
I love the stories but I wish Jen and Fletch voiced the book themselves, the comedic timing would be better.
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- susie sunshine
- 02-11-20
I liked this book
Until you get to the part where you repeated "MO JI TO" over and over again. We get the point after the first or second time you say it. I think you lost me after that chapter even though I tried to focus. It was annoying (to me) but perhaps it won't bother other readers. (And I like a good mojito) Up to that point, I thought your stories were good and relatable.
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3 people found this helpful
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- CAO
- 01-09-20
Hilarious! A good dose of humour & honesty presented well by the authors.
Loved this book. Captures the feelings, thoughts & ideas so many of us have daily. The anecdotes are amusing. “Fletch’s last word” is priceless. Jen’s stream-of-consciousness approach to writing makes for an enjoyable read/listen, and gave a much needed break from the mundane writings I listened to lately. This book was recommended by friends & I was not disappointed!!
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- J Carter
- 07-11-19
Not my favorite
LOVE Jen Lancaster, but this book isn’t my favorite! Will def buy another audio book from her in the future!
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- Amazon Customer
- 03-11-20
Excellent!
Jen Lancaster has done it again! If you don’t listen to this book or read it you are truly missing out. Her wit and sarcasm will have you laughing all day!
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- kevin
- 12-29-19
hilarious mature look at life
all the things and ways id probably look at life if i was in my 50s.
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- Margaret
- 08-10-22
Laugh out loud funny
I'll be looking for similar works by this author, really enjoyed. Definitely recommend if you like somewhat snarky humor
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- Amazon Customer
- 06-06-21
Disappointed
I have read over a dozen of Jen’s books. I was expecting this to be hilarious. Unfortunately, I don’t know if it was her voice or just the stories themselves but I just couldn’t get into it. Bitter is the new black is my favorite.
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