
Pirates and Zombies
Guardians of the Apocalypse, Book 3
Failed to add items
Add to Cart failed.
Add to Wish List failed.
Remove from wishlist failed.
Adding to library failed
Follow podcast failed
Unfollow podcast failed
$0.99/mo for the first 3 months

Buy for $24.95
No default payment method selected.
We are sorry. We are not allowed to sell this product with the selected payment method
-
Narrated by:
-
Matthew Crow
-
By:
-
Jeff Thomson
About this listen
The Sass is back, and in more trouble than ever! Pirates and zombies, idiot officers and a world-ending apocalypse. Are they ready for it? Are you?
©2019 Jeff Thomson (P)2020 Jeff ThomsonListeners also enjoyed...
-
You're Never Ready for a Zombie Apocalypse
- Guardians of the Apocalypse, Book 1
- By: Jeff Thomson
- Narrated by: Matthew Crow
- Length: 10 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The crew of the USCG Buoy Tender Sassafras, out of Honolulu, has embodied the Coast Guard’s motto: Always ready, in every mission, every circumstance, every crazy thing mother nature and the US government has seen fit to dump in their laps. They’ve been doing so much, with so little, for so long, they feel ready to face anything. But then, they’ve never had to face a zombie apocalypse.
-
-
frustrated at times
- By Anonymous User on 09-03-20
By: Jeff Thomson
-
Scream Bloody Cheerleader: The Novel
- By: Jeff Thomson
- Narrated by: Matthew Crow
- Length: 2 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Lock up your political correctness and join in the fun of a movie within a movie, within a novel, wrapped in a blood-soaked blanket of senselessly gratuitous nudity and violence; a spoof of 80s slasher movies that leaves no cliché unmolested.
-
-
Over The Top Hilarious
- By kutzkai on 04-30-21
By: Jeff Thomson
-
Fall
- Pressure, Book 1
- By: Jeff Thomson
- Narrated by: Desmond Manny
- Length: 8 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The Monster Under the Ground at Yellowstone has been biding its time and building pressure for 640,000 years. The US is now more divided than at any time in its history, since the Civil War. What would happen if it blew tomorrow? Pressure is that story, and Fall is only the beginning.
-
-
suspense filled story.
- By Dungeondan on 01-27-23
By: Jeff Thomson
-
Dead Meat
- The Complete Zombie Apocalypse Series
- By: Nick Clausen
- Narrated by: Matthew Crow
- Length: 38 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
It all starts with a single dead person coming back to life. Within three days, the undead have taken over most of town. Despite heroic efforts and swift initiatives from the government, disaster keeps spiraling. Soon, the infection reaches the nation's borders, threatening to become a worldwide pandemic.
-
-
Fresh take. Recommend highly
- By Charlotte on 02-06-23
By: Nick Clausen
-
The Infection Omnibus
- The Apocalyptic Zombie Trilogy
- By: Craig DiLouie
- Narrated by: Garrett Michael Brown
- Length: 27 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In this classic trilogy, a mysterious disease strikes millions and drives them to attack, overpower, and infect. Others continue to mutate, becoming horrific monsters. In a dying America, survivors ranging from soldiers to scientists to average people struggle on the razor's edge of survival. Each must ultimately choose how far they’ll go to survive and what they’re willing to lose to save humanity. This is a brutal vision of the apocalypse like no other. Will humanity survive the end of days?
-
-
So good
- By Jason on 05-06-22
By: Craig DiLouie
-
After Z
- By: J.S. Patrick
- Narrated by: Matthew Crow
- Length: 11 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
For a decade now, the world has known of the existence of the immuno-degenerative and epidermal decomposition virus (strain two). The world governments and several civilian agencies have, so far, managed to keep the unimaginable from happening. They achieved it by keeping the outbreaks under control and preventing a global pandemic.
-
-
Even a zombie would struggle to swallow this tale
- By Labrat on 12-04-20
By: J.S. Patrick
-
You're Never Ready for a Zombie Apocalypse
- Guardians of the Apocalypse, Book 1
- By: Jeff Thomson
- Narrated by: Matthew Crow
- Length: 10 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The crew of the USCG Buoy Tender Sassafras, out of Honolulu, has embodied the Coast Guard’s motto: Always ready, in every mission, every circumstance, every crazy thing mother nature and the US government has seen fit to dump in their laps. They’ve been doing so much, with so little, for so long, they feel ready to face anything. But then, they’ve never had to face a zombie apocalypse.
-
-
frustrated at times
- By Anonymous User on 09-03-20
By: Jeff Thomson
-
Scream Bloody Cheerleader: The Novel
- By: Jeff Thomson
- Narrated by: Matthew Crow
- Length: 2 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Lock up your political correctness and join in the fun of a movie within a movie, within a novel, wrapped in a blood-soaked blanket of senselessly gratuitous nudity and violence; a spoof of 80s slasher movies that leaves no cliché unmolested.
-
-
Over The Top Hilarious
- By kutzkai on 04-30-21
By: Jeff Thomson
-
Fall
- Pressure, Book 1
- By: Jeff Thomson
- Narrated by: Desmond Manny
- Length: 8 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The Monster Under the Ground at Yellowstone has been biding its time and building pressure for 640,000 years. The US is now more divided than at any time in its history, since the Civil War. What would happen if it blew tomorrow? Pressure is that story, and Fall is only the beginning.
-
-
suspense filled story.
- By Dungeondan on 01-27-23
By: Jeff Thomson
-
Dead Meat
- The Complete Zombie Apocalypse Series
- By: Nick Clausen
- Narrated by: Matthew Crow
- Length: 38 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
It all starts with a single dead person coming back to life. Within three days, the undead have taken over most of town. Despite heroic efforts and swift initiatives from the government, disaster keeps spiraling. Soon, the infection reaches the nation's borders, threatening to become a worldwide pandemic.
-
-
Fresh take. Recommend highly
- By Charlotte on 02-06-23
By: Nick Clausen
-
The Infection Omnibus
- The Apocalyptic Zombie Trilogy
- By: Craig DiLouie
- Narrated by: Garrett Michael Brown
- Length: 27 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In this classic trilogy, a mysterious disease strikes millions and drives them to attack, overpower, and infect. Others continue to mutate, becoming horrific monsters. In a dying America, survivors ranging from soldiers to scientists to average people struggle on the razor's edge of survival. Each must ultimately choose how far they’ll go to survive and what they’re willing to lose to save humanity. This is a brutal vision of the apocalypse like no other. Will humanity survive the end of days?
-
-
So good
- By Jason on 05-06-22
By: Craig DiLouie
-
After Z
- By: J.S. Patrick
- Narrated by: Matthew Crow
- Length: 11 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
For a decade now, the world has known of the existence of the immuno-degenerative and epidermal decomposition virus (strain two). The world governments and several civilian agencies have, so far, managed to keep the unimaginable from happening. They achieved it by keeping the outbreaks under control and preventing a global pandemic.
-
-
Even a zombie would struggle to swallow this tale
- By Labrat on 12-04-20
By: J.S. Patrick
-
Contamination Super Boxed Set (Books 0-7)
- The Complete Post-Apocalyptic Series
- By: T.W. Piperbrook
- Narrated by: Troy Duran
- Length: 34 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The infection has begun, ravaging the American Southwest and leaving chaos in its wake. In this new world, there will be no last meal, no dying wish. The only reward left is to survive another day...The complete Contamination series - all in this one, special edition.
-
-
absolute garbage writing.
- By James mullins on 04-23-22
By: T.W. Piperbrook
-
Adrian's Undead Diary Omnibus: Volume 1
- By: Chris Philbrook
- Narrated by: James Anderson Foster
- Length: 39 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The world crashed to pieces on June 23rd and Adrian Ring wasn't anywhere near ready for it. He had no guns, no food, no friends around, a cat that wanted to slip out the back of the condo and a girlfriend trapped in the heart of the city. This is the story of how he survived. Real, flawed, and raw, Dark Recollections is Adrian's own story of how he survived after "That Day". Told through his eyes as he talks to his laptop, affectionately named "Mr. Journal".
-
-
Adrian's Undead Diary set the bar for me!
- By Kelleefornia on 06-16-20
By: Chris Philbrook
-
Zombie Fallout: Zero
- By: Mark Tufo
- Narrated by: Sean Runnette
- Length: 2 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Those who would seek a new world order have unleashed the most devastating virus onto mankind, and even they do not know the secrets hidden in their weapon. Follow along as Harry, a CDC scientist, races to figure out what exactly the virus is and how to stop it. It will be up to him and a group of marines led by Major Sanders to stop the zombie fallout before it ravages an unsuspecting world.
-
-
As usual Mark Tufo does not disappoint
- By Midwestbonsai on 01-09-17
By: Mark Tufo
-
The Feral Children
- The Complete Collection (Zombie Road)
- By: David A. Simpson, Wesley R. Norris
- Narrated by: Eric A. Shelman
- Length: 25 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Isolated and left on their own at a wild animal safari park at the beginning of a zombie uprising, the boys and girls from the school field trip must learn how to survive on their own. They are safe behind the tall fences and strong walls, but what about all the wild animals inside the gates with them?
-
-
AWESOME!!
- By Amazon Customer on 11-02-21
By: David A. Simpson, and others
-
The Hospital: The First Mountain Man Story
- By: Keith C. Blackmore
- Narrated by: R.C. Bray
- Length: 1 hr and 37 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
A survivor of undead suburbia, mountain man Augustus “Gus” Berry is extremely careful when it comes to his actions and movements. He takes no chances and painstakingly weighs every decision—until he sets out for the hospital at the edge of town, hoping to discover a treasure trove of essential supplies. Soon, Gus will experience terror the likes of which he's never encountered before . . .
-
-
40 ROLLS OF ASS CLEANING GOODNESS
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 04-25-15
-
These Dead Lands: Immolation
- By: Stephen Knight, Scott Wolf
- Narrated by: R.C. Bray
- Length: 15 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The United States of America is falling before the armies of the dead. Leading the sole survivors of the US Army's 10th Mountain Division out of the overrun city of New York, Captain Phil Hastings heads for the safety of Fort Indiantown Gap, a National Guard training facility deep in the woodlands of Pennsylvania. Joining with other remnants of the military, government, and civilian communities, Hastings and his men must try to keep the tsunami of corpses from taking over the world and plan the resurrection of the nation.
-
-
An "Arisen-ish" great listen, keep em coming!
- By M. Bowles on 03-02-18
By: Stephen Knight, and others
-
Stage 3: A Post-Apocalyptic Zombie Thriller
- By: Ken Stark
- Narrated by: Evan Kelly
- Length: 9 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Blindness is just the beginning. Once the virus strips away everything remotely human, all that's left is a mindless, savage predator. From multi-award-winning, horror writer, Ken Stark, comes a pulse-pounding, post-apocalyptic zombie novel that will keep you pumped up until the very end.
-
-
Different story line for zombies...
- By ASummers on 02-07-22
By: Ken Stark
-
This Is the Way the World Ends
- An Oral History of the Zombie War
- By: Keith Taylor
- Narrated by: Matthew Crow
- Length: 10 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In the aftermath of the zombie pandemic Keith Taylor, noted pre-war author of post-apocalyptic fiction, traveled the world to interview survivors from every walk of life, culture and stratum of society, ranging from American political leaders to Scottish oil rig workers, from Mongolian miners to members of India's homeless underclass, each with their own tale of survival against an enemy that feels no remorse, fatigue, fear or mercy; only insatiable hunger.
-
-
Excellent Story
- By Jason on 09-14-22
By: Keith Taylor
-
Trudge
- Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse, Book 1
- By: Shawn Chesser
- Narrated by: Chris Patton
- Length: 6 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
As the first waves of injured bystanders, guardsmen, and rioters arrived at hospitals, it became apparent that a deadly new disease had been unleashed on the population. Whether the virus was naturally occurring or an escaped lab experiment, Cade hadn't a clue and wasn't especially concerned until he learned of its unprecedented virulence, unusual method of transference, and the fact that, according to the news, it brought the newly dead back to life, semi-mindless, and with an insatiable desire to feed on the flesh of the living.
-
-
Drudge Report on Trudge
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 12-06-15
By: Shawn Chesser
-
The Thin Dead Line
- By: Shane Gries
- Narrated by: Talon Beeson
- Length: 10 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
On a hot July day on the plains of Kansas, a US Army mechanized infantry company from the First Infantry Division gets a very vague warning order, and the young troopers saddle up on their steel beasts to go try to control "civil unrest".
-
-
Although it may seem usual...
- By Sam on 04-30-23
By: Shane Gries
-
Slow Burn Box Set
- The Complete First Saga in the Post-Apocalyptic Series (Books 1-9)
- By: Bobby Adair
- Narrated by: Phil Thron
- Length: 55 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
It was just a random mutation - one of a billion that happen in viruses every day. But this one was different. It exploded out of Somalia and spread across the oceans before anybody thought to look up from their cell phones to see what was going on. The infected breathed the virus into the air around them, spreading it through the cities faster than anyone thought possible. Hospitals were overwhelmed. Police lines crumbled. Quarantine sites disintegrated. Cities started to collapse.
-
-
A few irritating things
- By Justin J Taylor on 03-17-21
By: Bobby Adair
-
Plague of the Dead
- The Morningstar Strain, Book 1
- By: Z. A. Recht
- Narrated by: Oliver Wyman
- Length: 10 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The end begins with a viral outbreak unlike anything mankind has ever encountered before. The infected are subject to delirium, fever, a dramatic increase in violent behavior, and a one-hundred percent mortality rate. Death. But it doesn't end there. The victims return from death to walk the earth. When a massive military operation fails to contain the plague of the living dead it escalates into a global pandemic.
-
-
YOU MIGHT WANT TO PUT DOWN THAT CUP OF COFFEE
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 09-08-16
By: Z. A. Recht
What listeners say about Pirates and Zombies
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Jack C.
- 06-14-22
Man, I love this series!
From the very first book in this series, You’re never ready for a zombie apocalypse, I was hooked! Jeff, once again, crafts a wonderful and brutal tale! Plenty of humor AND horror! The narration is hypnotizing and performed brilliantly! Can’t wait to start book 4, Zombies of Infamy! Highly recommend this swashbuckler! #USCG rocks!
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- hexwolfx
- 03-19-22
To mugh similarly
The author used to many plot ideas from the previous novels in tge series that it's become really annoying has I know the author is trying to create the sequeations for large plotlines even not overwhelming wanted but I also was hooked by the chacthers differences and there growth has each novel is more like a reality TV show when the viewer sees which chavtherswill sppher still in the next viewing so in the end the author gets you hooked on the individual not the world building even it is important.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- D. Sturgeon
- 12-23-20
Fantastic series!
This is an excellent zombie series. Any fan of the post apocalyptic genre will definitely enjoy this one.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
1 person found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- jay
- 01-14-21
Great Listen
One of my favorite apocalyptic stories, hasn’t disappointed me yet. Waiting on book 4! Has a chance, take a listen!
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
1 person found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Shantelle Hazelton
- 01-13-21
Awesome
Another awesomely amazing book in the series! So different from any other ‘zombie’ books I e read or listened to!
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
1 person found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- kutzkai
- 04-17-21
Another Great One
Jeff and Matthew have created another great listening experience. the story and narrating are awesome. I highly recommend this story.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Hepcat89
- 12-21-20
More Please
OMG this just gets better with every book.
I love each character’s internal monologue.
The story is constant action and not the usual Zombie apocalypse.
LISTEN TO THIS SERIES.
Matthew Crow is a Master Storyteller!
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
1 person found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- K. Jones
- 05-06-23
Fun, fun, and Coasties
Go Coasties! This next chapter of the wildly adventurous, well maybe not wildly, but certainly adventurous heroes of the US Coast Guard is zombie stomping good! Enjoy!
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Sara B
- 01-19-21
Awesome!!
Pirates and Zombies, the third book in the Guardians of the Apocalypse series, is a fast-paced, exciting, and action-packed adventure with unexpected twists. With each book, the series gets better and better. The crew of Sassafras continues to jump out of the frying pan straight into the fire. Officers now have to take on pirates too. The characters in the series are quite engaging with colorful personalities, and at times even frustrating. There is quite a bit of humor and wit, which I enjoyed immensely. It was definitely worth the listen.
A stellar performance by Matthew Crow, he has a way of bringing the characters and story to life while captivating the listeners. Pirates & Zombies was an absolutely entertaining listen and a fantastic addition to the series, one I'll highly recommend.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
3 people found this helpful