Do you pastor someone who seems to know how to get other people to do their bidding? A person adept at pulling puppet strings and pushing buttons?

Imagine having someone like Isaac’s wife, Rebekah as your choir director. Rebekah was a master manipulator who did not care what her husband wanted. She did not care about custom and tradition. What Rachel wanted she was going to get whoever she had to take advantage of.

Does that sound like someone you pastor?

Pastoring a Manipulator is about providing you an effective strategy for shepherding those like Rebekah. This resource provides specific approaches that have worked.

You will gain valuable insight on:

• Identifying a manipulator.

• Strategies for limiting their impact.

• How to keep from pulling up valuable wheat while dealing with manipulative tares.

• Protecting those manipulators prey on.

People from The Dark Triad - Machiavellian manipulators, narcissists, and psychopath/sociopaths can be pastored - but it takes more than a casual effort.

By understanding the motives behind manipulation, you will be able recognize when it's occurring. Like each of this author’s books, Pastoring a Manipulator is practical. You are given step-by-step guidance on how to handle difficult conversations, set healthy boundaries, and maintain your own well-being. An explanation as to why you should respond in certain ways is included.
You may have experienced some of a manipulator's favorite ploys:

• People are saying . . .
• Several of us are concerned about . . .
• The only solution is to . . .
• If something isn't done, I'm going to . . .

There is a right way and a wrong way to deal with such.

Investing in Pastoring a Manipulator means you are investing in your ministry. Any shepherd can handle sheep that create no problems. A pastor who cannot wisely deal with difficult people limits the number of people he can influence. If your desire is to grow a healthy church, you need this information.

You will learn about Machiavelli’s teaching on manipulating others. The Bible has a number of people who were extremely manipulative. It is insightful to consider what those people did, and in some instances to take note of how another person responded to the manipulation.

Because manipulation is more easily accomplished by those in leadership, it is necessary to address an often overlooked topic - what happens when the pastor themselves exhibits manipulative tendencies. Gain valuable insights into self-reflection and growth. Manipulation is one of the things we can more easily see in ourselves, and thus repent of.

After reading Pastoring a Manipulator, you will be equipped with powerful techniques to respond confidently when faced with manipulative behavior, even when it comes from within your own leadership team.

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Pastoring a Manipulator is the second book in the Pastoring Difficult People series. Pastoring a Narcissist was published in 2023. Pastoring a Psychopath/Sociopath will be forthcoming.