
Love as Always, Mum xxx
The true and terrible story of surviving a childhood with Fred and Rose West
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Narrated by:
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Julia Barrie
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By:
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Mae West
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Neil McKay
About this listen
'Mae, I mean this ... I'm not a good person and I let all you children down ...' Rose West, HM PRISON DURHAM
It has taken over 20 years for Mae West to find the perspective and strength to tell her remarkable story: one of an abusive, violent childhood, of her serial killer parents and how she has rebuilt her life in the shadow of their terrible crimes.
Through her own memories, research and the letters her mother wrote to her from prison, Mae shares her emotionally powerful account of her life as a West. From a toddler locked in the deathly basement to a teen fighting off the sexual advances of her father, Mae's story is one of survival. It also answers the questions: how do you come to terms with knowing your childhood bedroom was a graveyard? How do you accept the fact your parents sexually tortured, murdered and dismembered young women? How do you become a mother yourself when you're haunted by the knowledge that your own mother was a monster? Why were you spared and how do you escape the nightmare?©2018 Neil McKay (P)2018 Orion Publishing Group
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Shameful Investigation Added to This Family's Pain
- By Susie Q on 11-14-17
By: Gemma Dowler
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The Convent
- The Shocking True Story of Surviving and Evil Nun's Care Home from Hell
- By: Marie Hargreaves
- Narrated by: Dorothy Lawrence
- Length: 8 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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When a fancy car pulls up outside six-year-old Marie's home in 1959, her dad tells her she is going on holiday. But little does she know she will not see her home again for four long years. Her family cannot afford to keep her at home. Marie tells the story of how she was taken away from a poor but happy and loving home life to live in a convent - away from everyone and everything she holds dear. Her hair is bluntly chopped, her clothes are taken away and her name is changed. Then a horrific ritual of physical, sexual and mental abuse begins.
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Stunning Book
- By madameEmily on 10-09-21
By: Marie Hargreaves
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A Family Secret
- My Shocking True Story of Surviving a Childhood in Hell
- By: Maureen Wood
- Narrated by: Rachel Atkins
- Length: 7 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Abused from the age of eight by her older brother and then her step-father, Maureen Wood quickly became numb to the constant suffering. But Maureen’s world crumbled when her own mother started to abuse her too. A Family Secret is the harrowing true story of how one little girl survived sickening abuse by the people who should have loved her most and how an innocent baby finally saved her.
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Bravery in Spades
- By Mama of Roses on 03-22-21
By: Maureen Wood
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Broken
- The Most Shocking Childhood Story Ever Told. An Inspirational Author Who Survived It.
- By: Shy Keenan
- Narrated by: Judy Mason
- Length: 10 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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I was born and broken in Birkenhead, abused from infancy by a network of every kind of pervert from ‘thinks it’s love’ to ‘show it hurts’. I was unwanted, beaten, sold, swapped, photographed, filmed, left for dead, corrupted, blamed, betrayed, ignored and orphaned. But I was also born with a fire inside me. I call it my Phoenix Fire. I am no victim—that word only describes what happened to me. Nor am I a survivor because that implies I am over it. I am a Phoenix—a work in progress. This is my story....
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Unbelievable Story
- By Amazon Customer on 09-07-23
By: Shy Keenan
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If You Tell
- A True Story of Murder, Family Secrets, and the Unbreakable Bond of Sisterhood
- By: Gregg Olsen
- Narrated by: Karen Peakes
- Length: 10 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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After more than a decade, when sisters Nikki, Sami, and Tori Knotek hear the word mom, it claws like an eagle’s talons, triggering memories that have been their secret since childhood. Until now. For years, behind the closed doors of their farmhouse in Raymond, Washington, their sadistic mother, Shelly, subjected her girls to unimaginable abuse, degradation, torture, and psychic terrors. Through it all, Nikki, Sami, and Tori developed a defiant bond that made them far less vulnerable than Shelly imagined.
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Horribly Depressing, Detailed Description of Abuse
- By Andrea on 12-20-19
By: Gregg Olsen
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The Mother Next Door
- Medicine, Deception, and Munchausen by Proxy
- By: Andrea Dunlop, Mike Weber
- Narrated by: Andrea Dunlop
- Length: 8 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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No bond is more sacred than the one between a mother and child. And no figure is more sympathetic than a mother whose child faces a life-threatening illness. But what if the mother is the reason for the illness? What if the sympathy is the point? With help from some of the top MBP experts in the world, Dunlop and Weber uncover the complex maze of psychological, systemic, and cultural issues that compound MBP and offer solutions for how we might find our way out.
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When nonfiction is more terrifying than fiction
- By Bob on 04-25-25
By: Andrea Dunlop, and others
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Pictures of You
- A Novel
- By: Emma Grey
- Narrated by: Kristy Best, Nic English
- Length: 11 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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From the author of the global breakout bestseller The Last Love Note comes the story of a young woman struggling to piece her life back together in the wake of a tragic accident, and the man who gives up everything to help her. When Evie Hudson wakes in an unfamiliar hospital room, she thinks she’s fresh out of a teenage party with her best friend, Bree. Except, Bree isn’t around anymore and high school was years ago. Evie had just survived the crash that killed her husband, Oliver—whom she can't remember either.
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Intricate, thought provoking but still a fun ride.
- By cnrkrc on 12-01-24
By: Emma Grey
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Allegedly
- A Psychological Thriller
- By: Tiffany D. Jackson
- Narrated by: Bahni Turpin
- Length: 10 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Mary B. Addison killed a baby. Allegedly. She didn't say much in that first interview with detectives, and the media filled in the only blanks that mattered: a white baby had died while under the care of a churchgoing black woman and her nine-year-old daughter. The public convicted Mary, and the jury made it official. But did she do it?
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Chilling, raw, and gut-wrenching
- By Ida on 02-08-17
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Raised by a Serial Killer
- Discovering the Truth About My Father
- By: April Balascio
- Narrated by: April Balascio
- Length: 13 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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One evening in 2009, April Balascio was searching online, as she had been every night, for unsolved murders in the towns her family had lived growing up, when she stumbled across the latest investigations into the “Sweetheart Murders” cold case. All at once, the buried memories of her father’s dark history were awakened, and she knew she had to take action. She picked up the phone to call a detective and the rest is infamous true crime history. In her unflinching memoir, Balascio bravely reveals an astonishing tale of a lifetime of manipulation, unexplained upheavals, and silent fear.
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Balascio’s voice adds authenticity
- By Shopbymail on 12-10-24
By: April Balascio
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Where Was God?
- By: Jennifer Dawn Turpin
- Narrated by: Tonia Rich
- Length: 3 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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As far as Jennifer can remember, her father was abusive but her mother wasn’t always. She remembers a time when she felt loved by her mother. All that changed when Jennifer was 11. Her mother snapped and became a monster like her father was. Then they turned on her. Jennifer fought to become who she wanted to be, and not who her parents were trying to make her be. She refused to allow the torture change her, like it changed her mother. This is the story of Jennifer’s past, how she got through it, and how she survived it all.
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my best friend jennifer turpin
- By J.R. Taylor on 08-10-24
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Sociopath
- A Memoir
- By: Patric Gagne Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Patric Gagne Ph.D.
- Length: 11 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Patric Gagne realized she made others uncomfortable before she started kindergarten. Something about her caused people to react in a way she didn’t understand. She suspected it was because she didn’t feel things the way other kids did. Emotions like fear, guilt, and empathy eluded her. For the most part, she felt nothing. And she didn’t like the way that “nothing” felt.
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Fascinating and Perfect Performance!
- By ScoobaRubio on 04-05-24
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American Daughter
- A Memoir
- By: Stephanie Thornton Plymale, Elissa Wald
- Narrated by: Mozhan Marno
- Length: 9 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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The sharp and surprising true story of a woman who finally sets out to understand her past, and the mother she had one day hoped to forget. Full of unexpected twists and unbelievable revelations, American Daughter is an immersive memoir that will have you on the edge of your seat to the very last minute.
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Amazing memoir
- By talltower4 on 09-02-21
By: Stephanie Thornton Plymale, and others
What listeners say about Love as Always, Mum xxx
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- jademarie
- 03-26-25
Good!
I found this book gripping and interesting. So happy she's building a new life.
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- Carole
- 05-22-22
overall good
long and sometimes stays on one subject too long. overall a good read and really digs into the mind of an abused child.
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- Amor Chavez
- 09-20-24
Depressing, Haunting and Reflective.
I can’t even begin to imagine what it would be like to have two serial killers as your parents even when your mom continues to maintain her innocence… this is just the most depressing book I’ve ever listened to. I hope the author and her family are continuing to do better ❤️
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- Audrey J T
- 10-05-18
Whoa.
It's pretty horrible to admit that one of the first things I thought before reading this book was what kind of people could these children have possibly become, being products of both the nature and nurture of Fred and Rose West? Mae West answered that question for me with such self-awareness and grace, a testament to the resiliency of the human spirit and the ability of very victimized people to embody tremendous beauty. Mae's account makes no excuses whatsoever for the actions of her parents, and she dives into the grittiest material, bravely facing all of it: the trajectory of her parents' lives and their truly appalling actions, her own relationship with her parents, her siblings, her daughter, herself. West is remarkably reflective. If you like true crime stories, you will enjoy this, but the book embodies much more than your typical crime ctory ever could. I read a lot of books and don't remember most of them, but I think I will always remember this book, and that is really saying something. Just...WHOA.
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4 people found this helpful
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- Staber
- 11-20-18
Top 5 books
This book was an amazing read from start to finish. I didn’t want to put down.
Although the subject was hard to hear the ending was so uplifting!
Highly recommend!!!!
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2 people found this helpful
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- Zeniada G.
- 10-16-24
Cool
The book was good, I didn’t know the full story until now, I was shocked! It was crazy how people can manipulate people to do the unthinkable
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- Tracey
- 01-30-25
Heartbreaking and inspiring
Great book! Very heart breaking but if you’re into true crime and have heard of Fred and Rose West you need to read this.
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- Miranda Atkins
- 05-19-22
A Unique Story
Mae West did a wonderful job of this book. She did include some descriptions that some may have difficulty with, but not ALL details. The book is not necessarily about the murders committed by her parents, but her survival of their crimes, secrets, and abuse to become a capable, compassionate person.
This must have been a difficult book to narrate, but it was a spectacular job. Her accent made it feel as though Mae was speaking.
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- pinkice
- 09-04-22
traumatic history told from the child inside
I hadn't heard of Fred & Rose West, maybe I live under a rock, but a true crime YT-er mentioned this book and how great it was before discussing a different crime story in her video. Without reading details of the actual crimes I jumped to Audible and purchased this book. the way this book is written is really different (at least for me, maybe it's common in other true crime books). The author is one of the children who tells the history from her perspective, so I'd you don't know the crimes already you, like I have, will learn what is going on within your family along with the author.
It's heart breaking and angering and fascinating and yes I had to fast forward a couple times through parts I wasn't able to handle but it didn't hurt the overall story to do so. This story has aspects that you'd never think you'd be able to relate to, because we're talking about very horrific things that thank goodness DONT happen in everyone's life, but because it's the perspective of a child living and learning, it's relatable. The author and narrator did an amazing job at sharing the emotion and soul that is very tricky to put into true crime stories, and I am very proud of this author for sharing this story, her story! I'm sure it's helped victims feel normal, outsiders empathize rather than gawk and communities recognize signs in kids & families who need help.
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- Shorttazz
- 11-15-24
Her bravery
Everything, I loved the bravery of May West and the reading was amazing. I highly recommend this book
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