
Incontinent on the Continent
My Mother, Her Walker, and Our Grand Tour of Italy
Failed to add items
Add to Cart failed.
Add to Wish List failed.
Remove from wishlist failed.
Adding to library failed
Follow podcast failed
Unfollow podcast failed
$0.99/mo for the first 3 months

Buy for $15.60
No default payment method selected.
We are sorry. We are not allowed to sell this product with the selected payment method
-
Narrated by:
-
Eileen Barrett
-
By:
-
Jane Christmas
About this listen
In this travelogue of self-discovery, Jane Christmas brings her wickedly irreverent style to a new mother-daughter experience. Since the beginning of time, mothers and daughters have had notoriously fraught relationships. "Show me a mother who says she has a good or great relationship with her daughter," Jane Christmas writes, "and I'll show you a daughter who is in therapy trying to understand how it all went so horribly wrong."
To smooth over five decades of constant clashing, Christmas takes her arthritic, incontinent, and domineering mother, Valeria - a cross between Queen Victoria and Hyacinth Bucket of the British comedy Keeping Up Appearances - on a tour of Italy. Neither has been to Italy before, but both are fans of ancient art, architecture, and history. Will gazing at the fruits of the Italian Renaissance be enough to spark a renaissance in their relationship?
As they wander along the winding Amalfi Coast, traverse St. Peter's Square in Rome, and sample the wines of Tuscany - walkers, biscuits, shawls, and medications in tow - they revisit the bickering and bitterness of years past and reassess who they are and how they might reconcile their differences.
Unflinching and frequently hilarious, Incontinent on the Continent will speak to all women who have tried to make friends with their mothers.
©2011 Jane Christmas (P)2013 Post Hypnotic Press Inc.Listeners also enjoyed...
-
Breakfast with Buddha
- A Novel
- By: Roland Merullo
- Narrated by: Sean Runnette
- Length: 9 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When his sister tricks him into taking her guru on a trip to their childhood home, Otto Ringling, a confirmed skeptic, is not amused. Six days on the road with an enigmatic holy man who answers every question with a riddle is not what he'd planned. But in an effort to westernize his passenger---and amuse himself---he decides to show the monk some "American fun" along the way.
-
-
a thoughtful and often hilarious journey
- By Mary McCarthy on 09-15-11
By: Roland Merullo
-
Counterfeit
- A Novel
- By: Kirstin Chen
- Narrated by: Catherine Ho
- Length: 7 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Ava Wong has always played it safe. As a strait-laced, rule-abiding Chinese American lawyer with a successful surgeon as a husband, a young son, and a beautiful home—she’s built the perfect life. But beneath this façade, Ava’s world is crumbling: her marriage is falling apart, her expensive law degree hasn’t been used in years, and her toddler’s tantrums are pushing her to the breaking point. Enter Winnie Fang, Ava’s enigmatic college roommate from Mainland China, who abruptly dropped out under mysterious circumstances.
-
-
a great snapshot into toxic chinese upbringing
- By ruka on 07-12-22
By: Kirstin Chen
-
Severance
- A Novel
- By: Ling Ma
- Narrated by: Nancy Wu
- Length: 9 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Candace Chen, a millennial drone self-sequestered in a Manhattan office tower, is devoted to routine. With the recent passing of her Chinese immigrant parents, she’s had her fill of uncertainty. She’s content just to carry on: She goes to work, troubleshoots the teen-targeted Gemstone Bible, watches movies in a Greenpoint basement with her boyfriend. So Candace barely notices when a plague of biblical proportions sweeps New York.
-
-
4.19 stars
- By ibillinsly@gmail on 12-06-18
By: Ling Ma
-
Double Take
- By: Kevin Michael Connolly
- Narrated by: Kevin Michael Connolly
- Length: 4 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Double take: a rapid or surprised second look, either literal or figurative, at a person or situation whose significance has not been completely grasped at first. Kevin Michael Connolly is a 23-year-old man who has seen the world in a way most of us never will. Whether swarmed by Japanese tourists at Epcot Center as a child or holding court at the X Games on his mono-ski, Kevin Connolly has been an object of curiosity since the day he was born without legs.
-
-
Love this story so much
- By R. MCRACKAN on 07-04-18
-
One Year Off
- Leaving It All Behind for a Round-the-World Journey with Our Children
- By: David Cohen
- Narrated by: Kevin Stillwell
- Length: 8 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In One Year Off, you can join the family on a trek up a Costa Rican volcano, cruise the canals of Burgundy by houseboat, and ride ferries through the Greek Islands. Later, as the Cohens wander further off the tourist trail, you can drive through the villages of Rajasthan, traverse the vast Australian Nullarbor, and discover the charms of Cambodia's Angkor Wat and the hidden shangri-las of northern Laos.
-
-
fun filled travellog
- By tarun on 07-22-19
By: David Cohen
-
The Long Way Home
- By: Karen McQuestion
- Narrated by: Tanya Eby
- Length: 8 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Marnie is just 35 when her boyfriend, Brian, drops dead of a sudden heart attack. Stunned by his death, Marnie finds her greatest grief is for Troy, Brian’s son whom she has raised as her own since he was a kindergartener. When he is reclaimed by his train wreck of a birth mother, Troy’s departure drives Marnie to a grief group at the local rec center. There she finds unexpected allies, three strangers who join her in an impulsive road trip from Wisconsin to Las Vegas to reconnect with Troy.
-
-
I You Liked "Enchanted April"...
- By Gillian on 10-28-14
By: Karen McQuestion
-
Breakfast with Buddha
- A Novel
- By: Roland Merullo
- Narrated by: Sean Runnette
- Length: 9 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When his sister tricks him into taking her guru on a trip to their childhood home, Otto Ringling, a confirmed skeptic, is not amused. Six days on the road with an enigmatic holy man who answers every question with a riddle is not what he'd planned. But in an effort to westernize his passenger---and amuse himself---he decides to show the monk some "American fun" along the way.
-
-
a thoughtful and often hilarious journey
- By Mary McCarthy on 09-15-11
By: Roland Merullo
-
Counterfeit
- A Novel
- By: Kirstin Chen
- Narrated by: Catherine Ho
- Length: 7 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Ava Wong has always played it safe. As a strait-laced, rule-abiding Chinese American lawyer with a successful surgeon as a husband, a young son, and a beautiful home—she’s built the perfect life. But beneath this façade, Ava’s world is crumbling: her marriage is falling apart, her expensive law degree hasn’t been used in years, and her toddler’s tantrums are pushing her to the breaking point. Enter Winnie Fang, Ava’s enigmatic college roommate from Mainland China, who abruptly dropped out under mysterious circumstances.
-
-
a great snapshot into toxic chinese upbringing
- By ruka on 07-12-22
By: Kirstin Chen
-
Severance
- A Novel
- By: Ling Ma
- Narrated by: Nancy Wu
- Length: 9 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Candace Chen, a millennial drone self-sequestered in a Manhattan office tower, is devoted to routine. With the recent passing of her Chinese immigrant parents, she’s had her fill of uncertainty. She’s content just to carry on: She goes to work, troubleshoots the teen-targeted Gemstone Bible, watches movies in a Greenpoint basement with her boyfriend. So Candace barely notices when a plague of biblical proportions sweeps New York.
-
-
4.19 stars
- By ibillinsly@gmail on 12-06-18
By: Ling Ma
-
Double Take
- By: Kevin Michael Connolly
- Narrated by: Kevin Michael Connolly
- Length: 4 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Double take: a rapid or surprised second look, either literal or figurative, at a person or situation whose significance has not been completely grasped at first. Kevin Michael Connolly is a 23-year-old man who has seen the world in a way most of us never will. Whether swarmed by Japanese tourists at Epcot Center as a child or holding court at the X Games on his mono-ski, Kevin Connolly has been an object of curiosity since the day he was born without legs.
-
-
Love this story so much
- By R. MCRACKAN on 07-04-18
-
One Year Off
- Leaving It All Behind for a Round-the-World Journey with Our Children
- By: David Cohen
- Narrated by: Kevin Stillwell
- Length: 8 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In One Year Off, you can join the family on a trek up a Costa Rican volcano, cruise the canals of Burgundy by houseboat, and ride ferries through the Greek Islands. Later, as the Cohens wander further off the tourist trail, you can drive through the villages of Rajasthan, traverse the vast Australian Nullarbor, and discover the charms of Cambodia's Angkor Wat and the hidden shangri-las of northern Laos.
-
-
fun filled travellog
- By tarun on 07-22-19
By: David Cohen
-
The Long Way Home
- By: Karen McQuestion
- Narrated by: Tanya Eby
- Length: 8 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Marnie is just 35 when her boyfriend, Brian, drops dead of a sudden heart attack. Stunned by his death, Marnie finds her greatest grief is for Troy, Brian’s son whom she has raised as her own since he was a kindergartener. When he is reclaimed by his train wreck of a birth mother, Troy’s departure drives Marnie to a grief group at the local rec center. There she finds unexpected allies, three strangers who join her in an impulsive road trip from Wisconsin to Las Vegas to reconnect with Troy.
-
-
I You Liked "Enchanted April"...
- By Gillian on 10-28-14
By: Karen McQuestion
-
Blind Curves
- A Woman, a Motorcycle, and a Journey to Reinvent Herself
- By: Linda Crill
- Narrated by: Tamara Marston
- Length: 8 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
After months of following one-size-fits-all advice for a 57-year-old widow, Linda Crill is still miserable, until she makes a rebellious spur-of-the-moment decision: she trades her corporate suits for motorcycle leathers and commits herself to a 2,500-mile road trip down America’s Pacific Northwest coast on a Harley. The problem: she doesn’t know how to ride and has only 30 days to learn. Four short weeks later, Linda joins two men and a woman for a white-knuckled, exhilarating road trip along the west coast from Vancouver, Canada, to the wine country of Mendocino, California....
-
-
Get in touch with the feminine biker in you.
- By Theodore John on 09-15-15
By: Linda Crill
-
The Gem Thief
- By: Sian Ann Bessey
- Narrated by: Aubrey Warner
- Length: 8 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
As jewelry designer for one of the most prestigious jewelers in the world, Gracie Miller completed a particularly stunning piece: a custom setting for a large diamond. But when her billionaire client Mrs. Katsaros comes to have a minor issue with the setting repaired, Gracie is horrified to realize it is not the ring she created. Someone has forged her design, and the priceless diamond is gone. Mrs. Katsaros has no desire to bring media attention to the jewelry heist, so she recruits her nephew, Quinn, and his FBI agent friend, Steve, to do some sleuthing off the record.
-
-
Good story, worth a listen.
- By V. Fortner on 08-01-21
By: Sian Ann Bessey
-
Neither Here Nor There
- Travels in Europe
- By: Bill Bryson
- Narrated by: Bill Bryson
- Length: 5 hrs and 38 mins
- Abridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
You'll stop at Europe's most diverting and historic locales and view the Old World through Bryson's tourist eye view in this affectionate, blisteringly insightful, and riotously funny pilgrimage from the frozen wastes of Scandinavia to the chaotic tumult of Istanbul.
-
-
reader beware
- By Marina on 11-19-03
By: Bill Bryson
-
Notes from a Small Island
- By: Bill Bryson
- Narrated by: Bill Bryson
- Length: 5 hrs and 39 mins
- Abridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Bill Bryson is an unabashed Anglophile who, through a mistake of history, happened to be born and bred in Iowa. Righting that error, he spent 20 years in England before deciding to repatriate. This was partly to let his wife and children experience life in Bryson's homeland - and partly because he had read that 3.7 million Americans believed that they had been abducted by aliens at one time or another. It was thus clear to him that his people needed him. But before leaving his much-loved home in North Yorkshire, Bryson insisted on taking one last trip around Britain.
-
-
Crackin' yarn, lad!
- By Dave on 03-28-05
By: Bill Bryson
-
Love by the Numbers
- By: Karin Kallmaker
- Narrated by: Abby Craden
- Length: 8 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
As a behavioral scientist, Professor Nicole Hathaway's work strips away the foolish mystique that surrounds the human mating dance. When her academic tome is treated as a viral "love manual", her ecstatic publisher books her to appear all over the US and Europe. Worse yet, her quiet, managed life has been shattered by a series of incompetent assistants. And she's certain this Lily Smith creature isn't going to be any less a burden than the last assistant they sent her. Or the one before that. Or before that....
-
-
You’’ve got to love this book
- By Sab on 10-04-21
By: Karin Kallmaker
-
Waking Up in Paris
- Overcoming Darkness in the City of Light
- By: Sonia Choquette
- Narrated by: Sonia Choquette
- Length: 8 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Devastated by the unexpected end of her decades-long marriage, renowned spiritual teacher and intuitive guide Sonia Choquette undertook an equally unexpected move and relocated to Paris, the scene of many happy memories from her life as a student and young mother. Arriving in the aftermath of the Charlie Hebdo massacre, she found a Paris as traumatized by this unforeseen event as she had been by her divorce.
-
-
I wanted to love this, but couldn't.
- By Bonnie Peterson on 10-02-18
By: Sonia Choquette
-
Steps out of Time
- One Woman's Journey on the Camino
- By: Katharine B. Soper
- Narrated by: Donna Postel
- Length: 12 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Years ago, an overachieving and harried young mother accidentally flushed her gold watch down the toilet. Time passed, but the image of the lost watch continued to haunt her, a symbol of an overcommitted life. Two decades later, propelled by a series of curious coincidences, she leaves behind her busy professional life, her cell phone, and her family to escape the tyranny of time and walk 500 miles across Northern Spain to Santiago de Compostela.
-
-
Inspiring
- By Jean on 01-24-19
-
The Secret Letters of the Monk Who Sold His Ferrari
- By: Robin Sharma
- Narrated by: Adam Verner
- Length: 6 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
After a bizarre encounter with his lost cousin, Jonathan Landry is compelled to travel across the planet to retrieve letters and mementos that carry the extraordinary secrets that Julian discovered throughout his life. On a remarkable journey that includes visits to the sensual tango halls of Buenos Aires, the haunting catacombs of Paris, the gleaming towers of Shanghai and the mystical deserts of Sedona, The Secret Letters of The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari reveals astounding insights on reclaiming your personal power, being true to yourself, and fearlessly living your dreams.
-
-
Very Enlightening
- By Jocelyne Ramos on 04-23-19
By: Robin Sharma
-
The Promise of Provence
- Love in Provence, Book 1
- By: Patricia Sands
- Narrated by: Janet Metzger
- Length: 14 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
On the evening of her twenty-second wedding anniversary, Katherine Price can't wait to celebrate. But instead of receiving an anniversary card from her husband, she finds a note asking for a divorce. Fifty-five and suddenly alone, Katherine begins the daunting task of starting over. She has her friends, her aging mother, and her career to occupy her, but the future seems to hold little promise - until, after a winter of heartbreak, Katherine is persuaded to try a home exchange holiday in the South of France.
-
-
Promise of Provence
- By Sandra S on 08-27-19
By: Patricia Sands
-
The Longest Way Home
- One Man's Quest for the Courage to Settle Down
- By: Andrew McCarthy
- Narrated by: Andrew McCarthy
- Length: 7 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Unable to commit to his fiancée of nearly four years - and with no clear understanding of what’s holding him back - Andrew McCarthy finds himself at a crossroads, plagued by doubts that have clung to him for a lifetime. Something in his character has kept him always at a distance, preventing him from giving himself wholeheartedly to the woman he loves and from becoming the father that he knows his children deserve. So before he loses everything he cares about, Andrew sets out to look for answers.
-
-
boring
- By Anonymous User on 06-06-13
By: Andrew McCarthy
-
All Those Things We Never Said
- By: Marc Levy, Chris Murray - translator
- Narrated by: Amy McFadden
- Length: 9 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Days before her wedding, Julia Walsh is blindsided twice: once by the sudden death of her estranged father...and again when he appears on her doorstep after his funeral, ready to make amends, right his past mistakes, and prevent her from making new ones. Surprised, to say the least, Julia reluctantly agrees to turn what should have been her honeymoon into a spontaneous road trip with her father to make up for lost time.
-
-
Loved
- By Nicki on 03-10-18
By: Marc Levy, and others
-
The Yellow Envelope
- One Gift, Three Rules, and A Life-Changing Journey Around the World
- By: Kim Dinan
- Narrated by: Laurence Bouvard
- Length: 8 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
After Kim and her husband, Brian, decide to quit their jobs to travel around the world, they're given a yellow envelope containing a check and instructions to give the money away. There are only three rules for the envelope: Don't overthink it, share your experiences, and don't feel pressured to give it all away. Through Ecuador, Peru, Nepal, and beyond, Kim and Brian face obstacles, including major challenges to their relationship.
-
-
Beautiful and Inspiring book, but
- By Robyn S O'Kelley-Koskella on 05-26-17
By: Kim Dinan
Critic reviews
What listeners say about Incontinent on the Continent
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Simone
- 04-17-14
Whiny Rant
This book was a disappointment. It wasn’t funny; it just came across as a whiny rant. Too bad because the subject matter had the potential to be very funny!
I also did not like the narrator – her Italian sounded Spanish.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
2 people found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Dina M. Scungio
- 07-26-19
Depressing
As I was preparing to visit Italy for the trip of a lifetime, I started listening to Italian stories, this was depressing, whiny, complaining about Italians, made me not want to visit. I couldn’t even finish it! Waste of money!
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Bohemian
- 06-18-13
Beyond Boring
Would you try another book from Jane Christmas and/or Eileen Barrett?
No, I don't think so.
What was most disappointing about Jane Christmas’s story?
It simply wasn't interesting, and the humor was literally the same thing, page after page, chapter after chapter, until it became annoying rather than pleasurable.
Would you be willing to try another one of Eileen Barrett’s performances?
The narrator was decent enough, it was the material she was given that was the issue.
What character would you cut from Incontinent on the Continent?
This just seems completely insincere, as if the author decided when she and her mother had decided on this trip that she'd take good notes and turn it into a book of some kind after in the hopes of making some money and paying for the trip. The problem is the author, her mother, and the people she meets just aren't interesting, their escapades aren't interesting, the humor isn't interesting or funny, and it's just the same thing over and over and over again, ad nauseum.
Any additional comments?
Avoid like the plague.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
2 people found this helpful