
If This Book Exists, You're in the Wrong Universe
A Novel
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Narrated by:
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Stephen R. Thorne
About this listen
New York Times best-selling author Jason Pargin’s hilarious and horrifying John Dies at the End series continues with If This Book Exists, You’re in the Wrong Universe.
"Pargin once again delights with scathing social commentary thinly disguised as an outrageous action novel.... This is a feast." (Publishers Weekly)
If the broken neon signs, shuttered storefronts, and sub-standard housing didn’t tip you off, you’ve just wandered into the city of “Undisclosed”. You don’t want to be caught dead here, because odds are you just might find yourself rising from the grave. That hasn’t stopped tourists from visiting to check out the unusual phenomena that hangs around our town like radioactive fallout. Interdimensional parasites feeding on human hosts, paranormal cults worshipping demonic entities, vengeful teenage sorcerers, we’ve got it all.
Did I mention the possessed toy? It’s a plastic football-sized egg that’s supposed to hatch an adorable, colorful stuffed bird when a child “feeds” it through a synchronized smartphone app. What’s actually inside is an otherworldly monstrosity that’s enticing impressionable wayward youth into murdering folks and depositing their body parts inside the egg as if it’s a hungry piggy bank to trigger the end of the world.
That’s where Dave, John, and Amy come in. They face supernatural threats so the rest of us don’t have to—and sometimes even earn a couple of bucks to so do. But between the bloody ritual sacrifices and soul-crushing nightmares, our trio realizes this apocalypse is way above their pay grade.
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Story
In a world full to bursting with would-be heroes, Jim couldn't be less interested in saving the day. His fireballs fizzle. He's awfully grumpy. Plus, he's been dead for about sixty years. When a renegade necromancer wrenches him from eternal slumber and into a world gone terribly, bizarrely wrong, all Jim wants is to find a way to die properly, once and for all. On his side, he's got a few shambling corpses, an inept thief, and a powerful death wish. But he's up against tough odds....
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An unexpected amount of punctuation
- By James M. Orlando on 03-24-23
By: Yahtzee Croshaw
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24/7 Demon Mart: Publisher's Pack
- Books 1-2
- By: D.M. Guay
- Narrated by: Todd Haberkorn
- Length: 19 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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24/7 Demon Mart: Publisher's Pack features two books from the 24/7 Demon Mart series: The Graveyard Shift, book one, and Monster Burger, book two. It also includes the bonus Hell for the Holidays, a 24/7 Demon Mart Christmas special. Lloyd Wallace is the most clueless crossing guard the intersection of hell and earth has ever seen. So clueless, that he doesn't even realize the beer cave in the corner store where he works is the gateway to hell.
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cool idea ruined by cartoonish narration
- By AJ on 11-29-20
By: D.M. Guay
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Middlegame
- By: Seanan McGuire
- Narrated by: Amber Benson
- Length: 17 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Meet Roger. Skilled with words, languages come easily to him. He instinctively understands how the world works through the power of story. Meet Dodger, his twin. Numbers are her world, her obsession, her everything. All she understands, she does so through the power of math. Roger and Dodger aren’t exactly human, though they don’t realize it. They aren’t exactly gods, either. Not entirely. Not yet. Meet Reed, skilled in the alchemical arts like his progenitor before him. Reed created Dodger and her brother. He’s not their father. Not quite. But he has a plan.
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Couldn't Finish
- By Amy Ferrantino on 05-22-19
By: Seanan McGuire
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Will Save the Galaxy for Food
- By: Yahtzee Croshaw
- Narrated by: Yahtzee Croshaw
- Length: 10 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Space travel just isn't what it used to be. With the invention of quantum teleportation, space heroes aren't needed anymore. When one particularly unlucky ex-adventurer masquerades as famous pilot and hate figure Jacques McKeown, he's sucked into an ever-deepening corporate and political intrigue. Between space pirates, adorable deadly creatures, and a missing fortune in royalties, saving the universe was never this difficult!
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Great
- By K. F. on 03-09-17
By: Yahtzee Croshaw
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They Lurk
- By: Ronald Malfi
- Narrated by: Joe Hempel, Amy McFadden
- Length: 9 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Newly reissued from the "modern-day Algernon Blackwood" comes five terrifying collected horror novellas.
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While their short stories, they’re also non-ending stories
- By laurie j sousa on 12-05-23
By: Ronald Malfi
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The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet
- Wayfarers, Book 1
- By: Becky Chambers
- Narrated by: Rachel Dulude
- Length: 14 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Follow a motley crew on an exciting journey through space - and one adventurous young explorer who discovers the meaning of family in the far reaches of the universe - in this lighthearted debut space opera from a rising sci-fi star.
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Unbearable narrator.
- By Christian Woolley on 06-18-19
By: Becky Chambers
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Interview with the Devil
- By: Michael Harbron
- Narrated by: Eric Priessman
- Length: 9 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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"Interview with the Devil" is a compelling tale that invites listeners to explore the depths of their convictions and the possibility of redemption in the darkest of narratives. Through a tapestry of philosophical exploration and cosmic intrigue, this novel questions the essence of humanity and the intricate dance of fate and free will.
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No interview until the end. Then ends abruptly.
- By Mark Silverman on 02-14-25
By: Michael Harbron
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Lovecraft's Monsters
- By: Neil Gaiman, Ellen Datlow - editor
- Narrated by: Bernard Clark
- Length: 15 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Prepare to meet the wicked progeny of the master of modern horror. In Lovecraft's Monsters, H. P. Lovecraft's most famous creations--Cthulhu, Shoggoths, Deep Ones, Elder Things, Yog-Sothoth, and more--appear in all their terrifying glory. Each story is a gripping new take on a classic Lovecraftian creature. Contributors include such literary luminaries as Neil Gaiman, Joe R. Lansdale, Caitlin R. Kiernan, Karl Edward Wagner, Elizabeth Bear, and Nick Mamatas.
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PURPLE WARMTH
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 02-04-17
By: Neil Gaiman, and others
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Paradise-1
- By: David Wellington
- Narrated by: Laurel Lefkow
- Length: 21 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Paradise-1. Earth’s first deep space colony. For thousands of people, it was an opportunity for a new life. Until it went dark. No communication has been received from the colony for months. And it falls to Firewatch inspector Alexandra Petrova and the crew of the Artemis to investigate. What they find is more horrifying than anything they could have imagined.
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Deadspace this is not.
- By T222T222 on 04-06-23
By: David Wellington
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Ghostwritten
- By: Ronald Malfi
- Narrated by: Joe Hempel
- Length: 12 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Four brand-new horror novellas all about books, stories, manuscripts—the written word has never had sharper teeth. In The Skin of Her Teeth, a cursed novel drives people to their deaths. A delivery job turns deadly in The Dark Brothers' Last Ride. In This Book Belongs to Olo, a lonely child has dangerous control over an usual pop-up book. A choose-your-own adventure game spirals into an uncanny reality in The Story. Full of creepy suspense, these collected novellas are perfect for fans of Paul Tremblay, Stephen King, and Joe Hill.
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Why do they always harm cats????
- By Matthew Davis on 04-13-23
By: Ronald Malfi
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Shroud
- By: Adrian Tchaikovsky
- Narrated by: Sophie Aldred
- Length: 12 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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On a planet shrouded in darkness, a stranded crew must fight for survival. But, the darkness may have plans of its own in this wildly original story from Adrian Tchaikovsky, Hugo and Arthur C. Clarke Award–winning author of Children of Time.
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Tales from the Gas Station: Volume One
- By: Jack Townsend
- Narrated by: Jon Grilz
- Length: 8 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Drunk customers. Shoplifting raccoons. Otherworldly visitors. As night-shift clerk at the 24-hour gas station at the edge of town, Jack has pretty much seen it all. That is, until his best friend reveals the body of a local politician hidden in the trunk of a car, setting off a chain of events with apocalyptic potential. Soon, Jack finds himself entangled in a supernatural conspiracy involving monster hunters, sociopaths, doomsday cultists, and...garden gnomes?
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Mr. CreepyPasta Narration is better
- By Kelsey on 08-11-23
By: Jack Townsend
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The Luminous Dead
- A Novel
- By: Caitlin Starling
- Narrated by: Adenrele Ojo
- Length: 14 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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When Gyre Price lied her way into this expedition, she thought she’d be mapping mineral deposits and that her biggest problems would be cave collapses and gear malfunctions. She also thought that the fat paycheck - enough to get her off-planet and on the trail of her mother - meant she’d get a skilled surface team, monitoring her suit and environment, keeping her safe. Keeping her sane. Instead, she got Em. Em sees nothing wrong with controlling Gyre’s body with drugs or withholding critical information to “ensure the smooth operation” of her expedition.
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Don't Trust the Description.
- By M.A. in TN on 10-22-19
By: Caitlin Starling
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Moving In Series Box Set Books 1 - 6
- Supernatural Horror with Scary Ghosts and Haunted Houses
- By: Ron Ripley
- Narrated by: Thom Bowers
- Length: 40 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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"Iron...and...salt," whispers the old man. The dead old man. "Hurry or it will be too late...." In a bid to escape the stresses of city life, Brian Roy moves his family out into the country, a decision that will forever thrust him into the chilling world of ghosts.... This digital box set contains all of the six thrilling supernatural novels in this best-selling series.
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Well worth the credit!
- By Natalie @ ABookLoversLife on 01-29-19
By: Ron Ripley
What listeners say about If This Book Exists, You're in the Wrong Universe
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- tarik
- 10-24-22
Da Filthy
This is another great book in this series. Well worth the price. Great narration too!
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- FrankLemonjello
- 10-19-22
Back on the Sauce
Another stellar story from Jason Pargin. He’s like a contemporary H.P. Lovecraft, minus the racism. Robert Evans of Behind the Bastards fittingly described Jason’s work as “psychedelic horror”, and I concur. C’mon! Put some weird stuff in your earholes.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Pete
- 04-03-23
Just as good as the others
If you want linear easy to follow stories, this isn't for you. He is one of those writers that must think these things up in an altered state.
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- bobby
- 04-06-23
This book is dafilthy
Jason once again knocks it out of the park in the latest installment of the JDATE series I’m already foaming at the mouth for the next one
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- Amazon Customer
- 05-26-23
He don gone and done it again
He don gone and done it again.
I I I I I I I I
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- tyler dempsey
- 05-31-23
I swear this is gold.
this is, yet again, some weird ass shit. I love it. just like the last 3, its just insanity. and I can not get enough of it. can't wait to see if another book comes out. hell, I want more movies.
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- Geffen
- 09-22-23
Moar soy sauce
Or Arby’s sauce if you just. Thank you Jason, I’ve cringed and laughed more throughout this than the combined result of the past five books I’ve read. It’s da filthy.
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- Amazon Customer
- 10-26-22
So good, it's Da Filthy!
Jason Pargin knocks it out of the park again. Audible requires fifteen words for a review.
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- Robin J. Bursey
- 10-28-22
this book is dafilthy
balls out awesomeness comedic cosmic craziness. pargin strikes again in this book listen and enjoy
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- Dustin
- 12-02-22
David Wong in true form.
This is Pargin at his best again. I thought the previous book wasn't quite up to snuff, but I loved this one. I still highly recommend listening to all the books in the series, they are all worth reading if you liked any of them.
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