
How to Stop Trying
An Overachiever’s Guide to Self-Acceptance, Letting Go, and Other Impossible Things
Failed to add items
Add to Cart failed.
Add to Wish List failed.
Remove from wishlist failed.
Adding to library failed
Follow podcast failed
Unfollow podcast failed
$0.99/mo for the first 3 months

Buy for $14.99
No default payment method selected.
We are sorry. We are not allowed to sell this product with the selected payment method
-
Narrated by:
-
Kate Williams
-
By:
-
Kate Williams
About this listen
This program is read by the author.
An unflinchingly honest and sometimes hilarious look at hustle culture, exploring the forces that have shaped a generation of overachieving women who now find themselves in search of a better way forward.
Have you ever heard someone say, “I’m trying to make it work,” and thought, “That sounds like a great idea”? Probably not. Because the thing about trying is that it’s tiring; it’s labor. Anyone who has tried to have fun or to relax or to fall asleep knows this to be true.
And yet: we exist within a culture that encourages us—often with a frantic urgency—to try, and try harder. We are told to try a different approach, try to do or be better, try to squeeze in a little bit more. This is especially true of women, who not only have to try harder than men to receive access to the same opportunities and resources, but who are also conditioned to try in the name of meeting others' needs and expectations, often at the expense of their own well-being.
In this galvanizing and illuminating listen, Kate tackles hustle culture head-on, exploring the ways in which women are primed to become relentless strivers. From the workplace to motherhood, from relationships to “self-care”—no arena of a woman’s life is safe from the pressure to exceed expectations. This conflation of self-worth with achievement, she argues, is both toxic and counterproductive, as the qualities we most seek—happiness, meaning, purpose—are not earned but rather owned.
Known for her astute cultural analysis and pitch-perfect observations of generational trends, Williams takes listeners on a journey rooted in her own struggle to divest from an overachieving identity, including the realizations that came in the wake of a painful fertility challenge. Deeply felt, passionately argued, and often laugh-out-loud funny, this is a book for every woman who has ever wondered what would happen if she stopped trying so hard—and just let go.
A Macmillan Audio production from Flatiron Books.
©2025 Kate Williams (P)2025 Macmillan AudioCritic reviews
"For a generation raised to have it all, which actually meant doing it all—and doing it all perfectly, with no help—How to Stop Trying offers a lifesaving proposition: What about . . . doing much, much less? With openness and wit, Kate Williams celebrates the art of giving up on endless to-do lists to make space for unhoped-for joy."
—Ada Calhoun, New York Times bestselling author of Why We Can't Sleep
"In How to Stop Trying, Kate Williams explores what happens in a mindfu*king culture where women are extolled to overachieve while simultaneously being admonished that there's no way to have it all. What Williams offers—with wit and provocation—is that the only way to unsubscribe from a society where we just can't win in the eyes of others is to choose ourselves instead, an act of rebellion that just might save our lives."
—Elise Loehnen, New York Times bestselling author of On Our Best Behavior
"The famous bard once asked, 'What are you going to do with your one wild and precious life'? Frankly, you can start by reading this book because it will damn well help you figure it out. Carefully crafted with resonant essays rife with wit and charm, How to Stop Trying packs a powerful, honest literary punch."
—Kathleen Glasgow, bestselling author of Girl in Pieces
People who viewed this also viewed...
-
No Less Strange or Wonderful
- Essays in Curiosity
- By: A. Kendra Greene
- Narrated by: A. Kendra Greene
- Length: 8 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Celebrated author and artist A. Kendra Greene’s No Less Strange or Wonderful is a brilliant and generous meditation—on the complex wonder of being alive, on how to pay attention to even the tiniest (sometimes strangest) details that glitter with insight, whimsy, and deep humanity, if only we’d really look. In twenty-six sparkling essays, Greene is trying to make sense—of anything, really—but especially the things that matter most in life: love, connection, death, grief, the universe, meaning, nothingness, and everythingness.
By: A. Kendra Greene
-
O Sinners!
- A Novel
- By: Nicole Cuffy
- Narrated by: JD Jackson, SEVAN
- Length: 12 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Faruq Zaidi, a young journalist processing the recent death of his father, a devout Muslim, takes the opportunity to embed himself in a cult called “the nameless.” Based in the California redwoods and shepherded by an enigmatic Vietnam War veteran named Odo, the nameless adhere to the 18 Utterances, including teachings such as “all suffering is distortion” and “see only beauty.”
By: Nicole Cuffy
-
Close to Home
- The Wonders of Nature Just Outside Your Door
- By: Thor Hanson
- Narrated by: Stacy Carolan
- Length: 5 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
We all live on nature’s doorstep, but we often overlook it. From backyards to local parks, the natural places we see the most may well be the ones we know the least. In Close to Home, biologist Thor Hanson shows how retraining our eyes reveals hidden wonders just waiting to be discovered. Close to Home is a hands-on natural history for any local patch of Earth. It shows that we each can contribute to science and improve the health of our planet. And even more, it proves that the wonders of nature don’t lie in some far-off land: they await us, close to home.
By: Thor Hanson
-
Ordinary Magic
- The Science of How We Can Achieve Big Change with Small Acts
- By: Gregory M. Walton PhD
- Narrated by: Gregory M. Walton PhD, Hattie Tate
- Length: 14 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The emotional questions we face can define our lives. If you’re expecting an interaction to go wrong, that expectation can make it so. That’s spiraling down. But as esteemed Stanford psychologist Greg Walton shows, when we see these questions clearly, we can answer them well. Known to social psychologists as wise interventions, these shifts in perspective can help us chart new trajectories for our lives. They help us spiral up. This is ordinary magic: The ordinary experiences that help us set aside the ordinary worries of life to unleash extraordinary change.
-
The Haunting of Room 904
- A Novel
- By: Erika T. Wurth
- Narrated by: Ina Barrón
- Length: 9 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Olivia Becente was never supposed to have the gift. The ability to commune with the dead was the specialty of her sister, Naiche. But when Naiche dies unexpectedly and under strange circumstances, somehow Olivia suddenly can’t stop seeing and hearing from spirits. A few years later, she’s the most in-demand paranormal investigator in Denver. She’s good at her job, but the loss of Naiche haunts her. That’s when she hears from the Brown Palace, a landmark Denver hotel.
-
-
No Thanks
- By NicoleAnn08 on 04-17-25
By: Erika T. Wurth
-
Renegade Grief
- By: Carla Fernandez
- Narrated by: Carla Fernandez
- Length: 8 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
So, you’ve lost someone. At first, there is an outpour of support and phone calls and care packages. But after the services are done and the phone stops ringing, there is a quiet in the air and an expectation to get on with your life as previously planned. The problem is that death has a way of making all plans go out the window. Renegade Grief offers the support in this next stage of grieving—when you feel isolated in your loss and are figuring out how to navigate it.
By: Carla Fernandez
-
No Less Strange or Wonderful
- Essays in Curiosity
- By: A. Kendra Greene
- Narrated by: A. Kendra Greene
- Length: 8 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Celebrated author and artist A. Kendra Greene’s No Less Strange or Wonderful is a brilliant and generous meditation—on the complex wonder of being alive, on how to pay attention to even the tiniest (sometimes strangest) details that glitter with insight, whimsy, and deep humanity, if only we’d really look. In twenty-six sparkling essays, Greene is trying to make sense—of anything, really—but especially the things that matter most in life: love, connection, death, grief, the universe, meaning, nothingness, and everythingness.
By: A. Kendra Greene
-
O Sinners!
- A Novel
- By: Nicole Cuffy
- Narrated by: JD Jackson, SEVAN
- Length: 12 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Faruq Zaidi, a young journalist processing the recent death of his father, a devout Muslim, takes the opportunity to embed himself in a cult called “the nameless.” Based in the California redwoods and shepherded by an enigmatic Vietnam War veteran named Odo, the nameless adhere to the 18 Utterances, including teachings such as “all suffering is distortion” and “see only beauty.”
By: Nicole Cuffy
-
Close to Home
- The Wonders of Nature Just Outside Your Door
- By: Thor Hanson
- Narrated by: Stacy Carolan
- Length: 5 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
We all live on nature’s doorstep, but we often overlook it. From backyards to local parks, the natural places we see the most may well be the ones we know the least. In Close to Home, biologist Thor Hanson shows how retraining our eyes reveals hidden wonders just waiting to be discovered. Close to Home is a hands-on natural history for any local patch of Earth. It shows that we each can contribute to science and improve the health of our planet. And even more, it proves that the wonders of nature don’t lie in some far-off land: they await us, close to home.
By: Thor Hanson
-
Ordinary Magic
- The Science of How We Can Achieve Big Change with Small Acts
- By: Gregory M. Walton PhD
- Narrated by: Gregory M. Walton PhD, Hattie Tate
- Length: 14 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The emotional questions we face can define our lives. If you’re expecting an interaction to go wrong, that expectation can make it so. That’s spiraling down. But as esteemed Stanford psychologist Greg Walton shows, when we see these questions clearly, we can answer them well. Known to social psychologists as wise interventions, these shifts in perspective can help us chart new trajectories for our lives. They help us spiral up. This is ordinary magic: The ordinary experiences that help us set aside the ordinary worries of life to unleash extraordinary change.
-
The Haunting of Room 904
- A Novel
- By: Erika T. Wurth
- Narrated by: Ina Barrón
- Length: 9 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Olivia Becente was never supposed to have the gift. The ability to commune with the dead was the specialty of her sister, Naiche. But when Naiche dies unexpectedly and under strange circumstances, somehow Olivia suddenly can’t stop seeing and hearing from spirits. A few years later, she’s the most in-demand paranormal investigator in Denver. She’s good at her job, but the loss of Naiche haunts her. That’s when she hears from the Brown Palace, a landmark Denver hotel.
-
-
No Thanks
- By NicoleAnn08 on 04-17-25
By: Erika T. Wurth
-
Renegade Grief
- By: Carla Fernandez
- Narrated by: Carla Fernandez
- Length: 8 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
So, you’ve lost someone. At first, there is an outpour of support and phone calls and care packages. But after the services are done and the phone stops ringing, there is a quiet in the air and an expectation to get on with your life as previously planned. The problem is that death has a way of making all plans go out the window. Renegade Grief offers the support in this next stage of grieving—when you feel isolated in your loss and are figuring out how to navigate it.
By: Carla Fernandez
-
The Man Nobody Killed
- Life, Death, and Art in Michael Stewart's New York
- By: Elon Green
- Narrated by: Dion Graham
- Length: 7 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
At twenty-five years old, Michael Stewart was a young Black aspiring artist, deejay, and model, looking to make a name for himself in the vibrant downtown art scene of the early 1980’s New York City. On September 15, 1983, he was brutally beaten by New York City Transit Authority police for allegedly tagging a 14th Street subway station wall. Witnesses reported officers beating him with Billy clubs and choking him with a nightstick. Stewart arrived at Bellevue Hospital hog-tied with no heartbeat and died after thirteen days in a coma.
By: Elon Green
-
The Next One Is for You
- A True Story of Guns, Country, and the IRA's Secret American Army
- By: Ali Watkins
- Narrated by: Jennifer Woodward
- Length: 11 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Northern Ireland, 1975. Violence has erupted on the streets of Belfast. After years as a guerilla army, the IRA is clashing with Loyalist gangs and heavily armed British soldiers. But the Troubles have spilled beyond the island: An ocean away, in the heart of Philadelphia’s Irish enclave, a teenage girl finds a letter in her mailbox. Inside is a bullet, and the message is clear: The next one is for you or your family. As reporter Ali Watkins reveals, the conflict in Northern Ireland might have gone very differently had it not been for a small ragtag band of gunrunners in the United States.
By: Ali Watkins
-
Wild Courage
- Go After What You Want and Get It
- By: Jenny Wood
- Narrated by: Jenny Wood
- Length: 8 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
To be successful you need to be Weird, Selfish, Shameless, Obsessed, Nosy, Manipulative, Brutal, Reckless, and Bossy. And that takes courage. As a former Google leader and top career coach who chased an attractive stranger off the subway and later married him, Jenny Wood knows her way around courage. In this book, Wood shatters conventional wisdom about achieving your goals. She gives you permission to ditch your fear and chase after what you want, unapologetically.
-
-
Liberal Views
- By RP on 04-07-25
By: Jenny Wood
-
The Better Friend
- 12 Truths to Shift from Shallow and One-Sided Connections to Vibrant Friendships
- By: Grace Valentine
- Narrated by: Grace Valentine
- Length: 4 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Women crave true, vibrant friendships yet so often feel we have to resort to one-sided relationships, shallow conversations, and cliques riddled with comparison and resentment. After years of coaching women and finding community after starting over in a new city, author and podcaster Grace Valentine offers heartening truths and practical insights for finding good friends and being a good friend.
-
-
Uplifting and encouraging!
- By Anderson on 04-14-25
By: Grace Valentine
-
Your Unconscious Is Showing
- Take Control of Your Life with the 12 Steps of Consciousness
- By: Dr. Courtney Tracy
- Narrated by: Dr. Courtney Tracy
- Length: 8 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Half psychology textbook written by your best friend (who’s also a therapist), half comprehensive guide brimming with actionable insights for engaging with our unconscious positively and productively, Your Unconscious Is Showing is here to help us accept what we can’t control, courageously change what we can, and wisely know the difference.
-
Me, but Better
- By: Olga Khazan
- Narrated by: Olga Khazan
- Length: 6 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In recent years, Olga Khazan had been spiraling toward an existential crisis. Though she treasured her loving, long-term relationship and her dream job, she often caught herself snatching dissatisfaction from the jaws of happiness. Her neurotic overachieving had always been a professional asset, but lately, Olga felt that her brittle disposition could shatter under the weight of just one more thing. She knew something had to give—but was it really possible to change her entire approach to life?
-
-
Great for introverts who want to be more social
- By ShawnaJ on 03-19-25
By: Olga Khazan
-
Girl Falling
- A Novel
- By: Hayley Scrivenor
- Narrated by: Sophie Loughran
- Length: 8 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Torn between her girlfriend, Magdu, and her best friend, Daphne, Finn is looking forward to a day of rock climbing and bonding for the three women on the soaring cliffs near their Australian town. But nothing goes as she planned, and in a horrific accident, Magdu falls to her death. Rocked by grief, Finn tries to pinpoint where it all went wrong. Did Magdu die because of Finn’s friendship with overbearing Daphne, who has never wanted Finn to change or leave her? Can Finn trace it all the way back to the tragic childhood loss of her sister?
By: Hayley Scrivenor
-
Liquid
- A Love Story
- By: Mariam Rahmani
- Narrated by: Mariam Rahmani
- Length: 9 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The unnamed Iranian-Indian American narrator of Liquid has always believed herself to be the smartest person in the room. And from an early age, she and her best friend—a poet-turned-marketer named Adam—have turned their noses up at other peoples’ riches. But two years after earning a PhD from UCLA, the narrator is no closer to the middle-class comfort promised to her by the prestige of her fancy, scholarship-funded education and the successes of her immigrant parents. Jokingly, Adam suggests she just "marry rich."
By: Mariam Rahmani
-
Trespassers at the Golden Gate
- A True Account of Love, Murder, and Madness in Gilded-Age San Francisco
- By: Gary Krist
- Narrated by: Rob Shapiro
- Length: 11 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Shortly before dusk on November 3, 1870, just as the ferryboat El Capitan was pulling away from its slip into San Francisco Bay, a woman clad in black emerged from the shadows and strode across the crowded deck. Reaching under her veil, she drew a small pistol and aimed it directly at a well-dressed man sitting quietly with his wife and children. The woman fired a single bullet into his chest. “I did it and I don’t deny it,” she said when arrested shortly thereafter. “He ruined me and my daughter.”
-
-
Fascinating story
- By evboy on 03-17-25
By: Gary Krist
-
Stop Me If You've Heard This One
- A Novel
- By: Kristen Arnett
- Narrated by: Cameron Esposito
- Length: 8 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Cherry Hendricks might be down on her luck, but she can write the book on what makes something funny: she’s a professional clown who creates raucous, zany fun at gigs all over Orlando. Between her clowning and her shifts at an aquarium store for extra cash, she’s always hustling. Not to mention balancing her judgmental mother, her messy love life, and her equally messy community of fellow performers. Things start looking up when Cherry meets Margot the Magnificent—a much older lesbian magician—who seems to have worked out the lines between art, business, and life.
-
-
From the first chapter , trashy sexual start to book was a total turn off
- By Kay Ortscheid on 04-09-25
By: Kristen Arnett
-
Mel & Sue: Should Know By Now
- By: Mel Giedroyc, Sue Perkins
- Narrated by: Mel Giedroyc, Sue Perkins
- Length: 3 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
We all have things in our life that we should know by now, but don’t. Absences in our knowledge and skillset that are frankly shameful in an adult. Things that would be too embarrassing to ask anyone to explain – except our very best friend. Listen in as Mel and Sue tackle their ignorance head on, asking each other to explain something that they still don’t know - but absolutely, as adults, should - from how to parallel park to fully understanding bread (why has it got all those holes in it? What, honestly, is yeast?).
-
-
So good!
- By 2510cheesecake on 04-17-25
By: Mel Giedroyc, and others
-
Tiny Experiments
- How to Live Freely in a Goal-Obsessed World
- By: Anne-Laure Le Cunff
- Narrated by: Anne-Laure Le Cunff
- Length: 6 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Life isn’t linear, and yet we try to mold it around linear goals: four-year college degrees, ten-year career plans, thirty-year mortgages. What if instead we approached life as a giant playground for experimentation? Based on ancestral philosophy and the latest scientific research, Tiny Experiments provides a desperately needed reframing: Uncertainty can be a state of expanded possibility and a space for metamorphosis. Neuroscientist and entrepreneur Anne-Laure Le Cunff reveals that all you need is an experimental mindset to turn challenges into self-discovery and doubt into opportunity.
-
-
A Refreshing Take on Growth and Creativity!
- By Naya on 03-05-25