
How to Raise Kids Who Aren't Assholes
Science-Based Strategies for Better Parenting - from Tots to Teens
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Narrated by:
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Melinda Wenner Moyer
About this listen
How to Raise Kids Who Aren't Assholes is a clear, actionable, sometimes humorous (but always science-based) guide for parents on how to shape their kids into honest, kind, generous, confident, independent, and resilient people...who just might save the world one day.
As an award-winning science journalist, Melinda Wenner Moyer was regularly asked to investigate and address all kinds of parenting questions: how to potty train, when and whether to get vaccines, and how to help kids sleep through the night. But as Melinda's children grew, she found that one huge area was ignored in the realm of parenting advice: How do we make sure our kids don't grow up to be assholes?
On social media, in the news, and from the highest levels of government, kids are increasingly getting the message that being selfish, obnoxious, and cruel is okay. Hate crimes among children and teens are rising, while compassion among teens has been dropping. We know, of course, that young people have the capacity for great empathy, resilience, and action, and we all want to bring up kids who will help build a better tomorrow. But how do we actually do this? How do we raise children who are kind, considerate, and ethical inside and outside the home, who will grow into adults committed to making the world a better place?
How to Raise Kids Who Aren't Assholes is a deeply researched, evidence-based primer that provides a fresh, often surprising perspective on parenting issues, from toddlerhood through the teenage years. First, Melinda outlines the traits we want our children to possess - including honesty, generosity, and antiracism - and then she provides scientifically based strategies that will help parents instill those characteristics in their kids. Learn how to raise the kind of kids you actually want to hang out with - and who just might save the world.
©2021 Melinda Wenner Moyer (P)2021 Penguin AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
“This science-based, funny, easy-to-use guidebook with specific strategies to help parents raise great kids should be on everyone's list.” (Zibby Owens, Good Morning America)
“In her new book How to Raise Kids Who Aren't A**holes: Science-Based Strategies for Better Parenting - from Tots to Teens, science journalist Melinda Wenner Moyer…looks at research on gunplay, screen time, shyness, resilience and more, helping parents effectively send the message that kindness matters.” (CNN.com)
“I can’t think of a more important life lesson than ‘don’t be an asshole’. Unfortunately, many kids don’t learn it - because many parents fail to teach it. Thanks to this book, they no longer have an excuse. It’s a smart, engaging, honest, and surprisingly useful read about how to nurture decency and generosity.” (Adam Grant, number one New York Times best-selling author of Thing Again)
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Outsmart the traps that are holding you back from success! Trap Tales is your guide to avoiding the seven obstacles that ensnare people every day. We all fall into traps, and we often don't even realize it until we're deeply entrenched. Like quicksand, traps are easy to step into, but difficult to escape - it seems that the harder we try to climb out, the deeper we sink. But what if there were another way? What if we knew the right strategies to escape the traps we have fallen into? What if we could spot traps from a distance, and avoid them entirely?
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Captivating
- By Jeff on 02-18-18
By: David M. R. Covey, and others
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How to Stop Losing Your Sh*t with Your Kids
- A Practical Guide to Becoming a Calmer, Happier Parent
- By: Carla Naumburg PhD
- Narrated by: Patricia Rodriguez
- Length: 6 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Stop the yelling, lose the guilt, and become a calmer, happier parent. Drawing on evidence-based practices, here is an insight-packed and tip-filled plan for how to stop the parental meltdowns. Its compassionate, pragmatic approach will help listeners feel less ashamed and more empowered to get their, ahem, act together instead of losing it.
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Good content written poorly
- By Red Beard on 09-01-20
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Time Management in 20 Minutes a Day
- Simple Strategies to Increase Productivity, Enhance Creativity, and Make Your Time Your Own
- By: Holly Reisem Hanna
- Narrated by: Kristin James
- Length: 2 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Filled with practical advice for everybody, Time Management in 20 Minutes a Day makes increasing your productivity and getting the most out of every day a snap. Sprinkled with bite-sized lessons and personal anecdotes, Time Management in 20 Minutes a Day introduces strategic changes geared to help you improve your daily life. From obsessing over emails to hunting through clutter to mismanaging meetings - learn how to stop doing all the little things you didn’t even realize were wasting so much of your time.
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straight to the point
- By Zohra Kerris on 11-10-22
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The Science of Self-Discipline
- The Willpower, Mental Toughness, and Self-Control to Resist Temptation and Achieve Your Goals
- By: Peter Hollins
- Narrated by: Peter Hollins
- Length: 3 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Your best intentions are not enough. Learn how to scientifically engineer a disciplined existence, become relentless, and never give up. Whatever you want in your life, self-discipline is the missing piece. Goals will remain dreams if you make the mistake of relying on motivation and your best drawn plans. The Science of Self-Discipline is a deep look into what allows us to resist our worst impulses and simply execute, achieve, produce, and focus. Every principle is scientifically-driven and dissected to as be actionable and helpful as possible. You'll learn how top performers consistently exercise self-discipline, as well as what drives us on an instinctual, psychological level to act.
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Same old tired rehash of studies and common sense
- By A. Molnar on 07-12-18
By: Peter Hollins
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The New Rules of Work
- The Modern Playbook for Navigating Your Career
- By: Alexandra Cavoulacos, Kathryn Minshew
- Narrated by: Alexandra Cavoulacos, Kathryn Minshew
- Length: 9 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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The world of work has changed. People in previous generations tended to pick one professional path and stick to it. Switching companies every few years wasn't the norm, and changing careers was even rarer. Today's career trajectories aren't so scripted and linear. Technology has given rise to new positions that never before existed, which means we are choosing from a much broader set of career options - and have even more opportunities to find work that lights us up.
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great book for recent grads, not for pros
- By Jared Gardner on 11-01-17
By: Alexandra Cavoulacos, and others
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Why Do So Many Incompetent Men Become Leaders?
- (And How to Fix It)
- By: Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic
- Narrated by: Gary Tiedemann
- Length: 4 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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In this timely and provocative book, Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic asks two powerful questions: Why is it so easy for incompetent men to become leaders? And why is it so hard for competent people - especially competent women - to advance? Marshaling decades of rigorous research, Chamorro-Premuzic points out that although men make up a majority of leaders, they underperform when compared with female leaders. In fact, most organizations equate leadership potential with a handful of destructive personality traits, like overconfidence and narcissism.
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The Ultimate Leadership Book, Backed by Science!
- By Felix A. Urrutia Jr. on 04-10-22
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Atomic Actions
- Experience Transformative Breakthroughs and Unstoppable Momentum
- By: Michael Pedersen
- Narrated by: Robert Plank
- Length: 11 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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Dive into "Atomic Actions" for an unfiltered personal development and self-growth approach. Peak Performance Coach Michael Pedersen has decades of experience and knowledge on this topic. This book focuses on overcoming barriers to decisiveness, equipping you with strategies and processes for success. This self-help book is a comprehensive guide to becoming an "action-taker" in life. Your confidence and self-belief will skyrocket, resulting in success in all facets of your life.
By: Michael Pedersen
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The Millionaire Mind
- By: Thomas J. Stanley Ph.D., William D. Danko Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Cotter Smith
- Length: 12 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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To become a millionaire, you have to think like one. The Millionaire Mind shows you how. Also available: The Millionaire Next Door.
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No Millionaire Next Door
- By Sean on 02-01-03
By: Thomas J. Stanley Ph.D., and others
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The Gentle Sleep Book
- For Calm Babies, Toddlers and Pre-Schoolers
- By: Sarah Ockwell-Smith
- Narrated by: Katy Sobey
- Length: 8 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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The Gentle Sleep Book offers gentle, no-tears sleep solutions for exhausted parents of newborns to five-year-olds. A large percentage of parents find their young children's sleep - or lack of - challenging. This new audiobook from Sarah Ockwell-Smith, founder of BabyCalm, will be an indispensable guide for parents, whatever challenges they are facing with their child's sleep - from the day they bring their newborn home until their child is settled in at school.
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It's fine but not much about 2-4 years
- By Patrick on 02-12-18
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How to Raise Your Own Salary
- By: Napoleon Hill
- Narrated by: Tom Parks, Dan John Miller, Christopher Lane
- Length: 10 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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This new edition of How to Raise Your Own Salary is filled with foolproof techniques for acquiring the knowledge and skills for increasing your share of life's riches. The detailed dialog between Andrew Carnegie and Napoleon Hill will mesmerize you with its message.
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Play at 2x or FASTER!!!!!😎
- By Super Learner on 11-14-17
By: Napoleon Hill
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She and Her Cat
- Stories
- By: Makoto Shinkai, Naruki Nagakawa, Ginny Tapley Takemori
- Narrated by: Winson Ting, Julia Strowski, Jacqui Bardelang, and others
- Length: 4 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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Lying alone on the edge of the sidewalk in an abandoned cardboard box, a nameless narrator contemplates the indifferent world around him. With his mother long gone, his only company is the sound of the nearby train. Just as he fears that the end is near, a young woman peers down at him, this fateful encounter changing their lives forever.
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Poor Narration
- By Melody Powell on 12-31-24
By: Makoto Shinkai, and others
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Success Is a Choice
- Make the Choices That Make You Successful
- By: John C. Maxwell
- Narrated by: Henry O. Arnold
- Length: 5 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Are you tired of not reaching your full potential? Do you feel you have the talent to succeed but are unappreciated and trapped? Learn how to unlock your potential for success! Abridged from his New York Times bestselling book, Beyond Talent, leadership expert and author Dr. John C. Maxwell states that if the above describes you, this book can help you learn the right choices that lead to success from the go-to-guru for business professionals across the globe.
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In need of serious updating
- By D Price on 08-17-21
By: John C. Maxwell
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Kind Words for Unkind Days
- A Guide to Surviving and Thriving in Difficult Times
- By: Jayne Hardy
- Narrated by: Jayne Hardy
- Length: 3 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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The perfect practical pick-me-up for life's tough days, this book is the perfect guide to help you feel happier, healthier and calmer. We all have days where we feel like the world is getting us down. But here's the thing - you're not alone. From helping us see what strong really looks like, to what to do when you have no energy for self-care; Jayne Hardy shows us that even on our most difficult days, a little kindness can go a very long way.
By: Jayne Hardy
What listeners say about How to Raise Kids Who Aren't Assholes
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- Alan
- 07-16-24
Alternative title “how to raise kids who aren’t republican”
It was okay. Some good advice. A lot of obvious things. Some practical takeaways. Some rambling on to fill pages when point has been made. A little too woke at times for me. Wasn’t a waste of time but wouldn’t read again.
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- "buglafi"
- 01-25-23
Outstanding overall synthesis of some complex ideas
Very practical, very thoughtful - well written and delivered. A few tidbits I’m implementing right away!
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- Sarah
- 06-08-22
Really solid advice on a range of parenting challenges
I read this as part of a book club and might not have picked it up based on title alone. I also don't think I read the full subtitle before reading it so was pleasantly surprised to find chapters about topics impacting older kids, like technology and sex.
My kid is only two so while I didn't find those two chapters super relevant (although there are aspects of both of those chapters that touch on little kids), I found the research fascinating. I had read Emily Oster's The Family Firm last year, which gives you a framework for decision making around topics like technology, but the research in this book is just far more interesting...perhaps because it touches on older kids, so it touches more on areas like privacy and bullying.
I also found the sections on gender, bullying, and sibling relationships really interesting.
One thing I would deliberate is whether this is better as an audio book vs physical book. I found the performance of the reading good, but this might be a book where you want to jump to relevant sections when things happen and you want to reference the research, which is just easier (for me) in a hard copy.
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- MSprang
- 09-25-21
Fantastic Parenting Book
This was a fantastic parenting book. It starts with how current events fueled the author's need to write it, and continues with clear research-based information not only why things need to be done, but how to do them. It covers a wide range of topics, great resources, and realistic expectations about life. I'll be re-reading parts of this for years as I continue to strive to become a better parent. Incredibly well done and highly recommended.
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- John M. Walker
- 10-04-23
Very Resonant
For some reason, out of all the parenting books I’ve read, this one resonated with me the most. It’s great.
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- Amanda Grill
- 07-19-23
Excellent
Excellent, thanks for doing the research! Thoroughly enjoyed listening to it. Personable and thought-provoking
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- Michellemarie
- 02-03-22
Best parenting book I have found yet.
I loved how everything was broken down and especially loved the last 5 chapters. What really spoke to me was the section on discipline and I love all the studies that are backing the content of this book. Is a great deal of research and work went into the making of this this book. Truly appreciate it
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1 person found this helpful
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- John Rusiniak
- 08-29-21
Learned a lot
Even with its heavy-handedness with social justice issues, this book was a fantastic resource to draw from and I learned a lot about different approaches to discipline, discussions, and stability with parenting.
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- Orana C.
- 05-24-23
Inspiring and Helpful
Nice book with many chapters related to different parenting subjects as kids develop. I’d like to read it again in a few years. I found the advice based on scientific research very helpful.
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- Flemming
- 07-25-21
Slightly us-centric, but very well reasoned
Basing the intro in the political assholery in the US gives a good frame of reference for those of us that follow that particular dumpster fire, but it end up being a distraction for those that don't, which is permitted when not living in the US.
I fear that adherents of industrialized callousness will be turned off by calling out cheeto Mussolini, so perhaps an easy-to-read edition without those passages would be helpful?
Anyway we enjoyed the book and it seems the points being made are indeed based in reality.
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3 people found this helpful