Heaven's Queens
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3 months free
Heaven's Queens
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Narrated by:
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Willard Losinger
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By:
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Willard Losinger
About this listen
Heaven's Queens is a satirical fantasy, derived from the Bible, archaeological findings from the Ancient Near East, Roman Catholic doctrine, and American Evangelical Protestant Christian teaching. In antiquity, the Israelites worshiped Asherah, as the Queen of Heaven and YHWH’s wife, together with YHWH. Judah’s King Josiah put a violent end to the worship of Asherah and to the worship of (and belief in) any divinity besides YHWH. This caused YHWH to experience considerable loneliness.
One day, following Satan’s advice, YHWH decided to find a virgin with whom to copulate. The Virgin Mary was brought to Heaven, as the new Queen, who would listen to every worshiper’s request, and bring the request to YHWH. YHWH got bored with his Eternal Virgin and did nothing as portions of the Earth suffered calamities related to climate change.
Women at a rural American church read about the worship of Asherah during a Bible study and decided to try it, using a naked Barbie doll as their image of Asherah. YHWH was happy to have Asherah back, even though she did not look the same. YHWH rewarded the worshipers by sending rain and healing their sick pastor.
©2023, 2024, 2025 Willard Losinger (P)2025 Willard Losinger