
Harmless
Failed to add items
Add to Cart failed.
Add to Wish List failed.
Remove from wishlist failed.
Adding to library failed
Follow podcast failed
Unfollow podcast failed
$0.99/mo for the first 3 months

Buy for $24.95
No default payment method selected.
We are sorry. We are not allowed to sell this product with the selected payment method
-
Narrated by:
-
DJ Holte
-
By:
-
Ernie Lindsey
About this listen
From the USA TODAY and Amazon best-selling author of Sara's Game,..this is Harmless, an unconventional love story, a murder mystery, and a laugh out loud, hilarious work of fiction.
There's someone for everyone...even Steve.Steve Pendragon is an eccentric (and sometimes delusional) used car salesman in love with Kerry, the quiet, secretive girl next door - only she doesn't know it. When the would-be love of his life turns up dead, all signs point to Steve.
Once the detectives hit a dead end in their investigation and he becomes the prime suspect, Steve is left with only a reluctant police officer and a crooked private investigator to help him prove his innocence. Could a kindhearted homeless woman and a cryptic note in Kerry's diary provide the key to the mystery?
©2013 Ernie Lindsey (P)2013 Ernie LindseyListeners also enjoyed...
-
Gone Girl
- A Novel
- By: Gillian Flynn
- Narrated by: Julia Whelan, Kirby Heyborne
- Length: 19 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
On a warm summer morning in North Carthage, Missouri, it is Nick and Amy Dunne’s fifth wedding anniversary. Presents are being wrapped and reservations are being made when Nick’s clever and beautiful wife disappears. Husband-of-the-Year Nick isn’t doing himself any favors with cringe-worthy daydreams about the slope and shape of his wife’s head, but passages from Amy's diary reveal the alpha-girl perfectionist could have put anyone dangerously on edge.
-
-
Demented, twisted, sick and I loved it!
- By Theodore on 01-20-13
By: Gillian Flynn
-
Girl, Forgotten
- By: Karin Slaughter
- Narrated by: Kathleen Early
- Length: 15 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
A girl with a secret. Longbill Beach, 1982. Emily Vaughn gets ready for the prom. For an athlete, who is smart, pretty and well-liked, this night that should be the highlight of her high school career. But Emily has a secret. And by the end of the evening, that secret will be silenced forever. Forty years later, Emily’s murder remains a mystery. Her tight-knit group of friends closed ranks; her respected, wealthy family retreated inwards; the small town moved on from her grisly attack. But all that’s about to change.
-
-
Good book but why so political
- By Christine Short on 09-02-22
By: Karin Slaughter
-
Triptych
- By: Karin Slaughter
- Narrated by: Michael Kramer
- Length: 13 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
From Atlanta's wealthiest suburbs to its stark inner-city housing projects, a killer has crossed the boundaries of wealth and race. And the people who are chasing him must cross those boundaries, too. Among them is Michael Ormewood, a veteran detective whose marriage is hanging by a thread and whose arrogance and explosive temper are threatening his career. And Angie Polaski, a beautiful vice cop who was once Michael's lover before she became his enemy.
-
-
Spoiler Alert
- By Patricia on 12-13-15
By: Karin Slaughter
-
Missing You
- By: Harlan Coben
- Narrated by: January LaVoy
- Length: 11 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Number-one New York Times best-selling author Harlan Coben set huge sales records with last year’s Six Years - and he’s poised to do it again in his next breathtaking stand-alone thriller. Harlan Coben, author of six consecutive instant number-one New York Times best sellers and a total of 24 award-winning, best-selling, and internationally acclaimed novels, returns with another ripped-from-real-life thriller full of impossibly high emotional stakes and the real-to-life characters for which he has become famous.
-
-
I Ain't Missing You
- By Susan on 03-20-14
By: Harlan Coben
-
Stay Close
- By: Harlan Coben
- Narrated by: Scott Brick
- Length: 11 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Three people living lives they never wanted, hiding secrets that even those closest to them would never suspect, will find that the past never truly fades away. Even as the terrible consequences of long-ago events crash together in the present and threaten to ruin lives, they will come to the startling realization that they may not want to forget the past at all.
-
-
Why did I think I liked Harlan Coben novels?
- By Robin on 05-10-12
By: Harlan Coben
-
Where It Hurts
- The Gus Murphy Series, Book 1
- By: Reed Farrel Coleman
- Narrated by: Chris Andrew Ciulla
- Length: 10 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Gus Murphy thought he had the world all figured out. A retired Suffolk County cop, he had everything a man could want: a great marriage, two kids, a nice house, and the rest of his life ahead of him. But when tragedy strikes, his life is thrown into complete disarray. In the course of a single deadly moment, his family is blown apart, and Gus is transformed from a man who believes he understands everything into a man who understands nothing.
-
-
A depressing, slow-moving story.
- By MidwestGeek on 04-06-16
-
Gone Girl
- A Novel
- By: Gillian Flynn
- Narrated by: Julia Whelan, Kirby Heyborne
- Length: 19 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
On a warm summer morning in North Carthage, Missouri, it is Nick and Amy Dunne’s fifth wedding anniversary. Presents are being wrapped and reservations are being made when Nick’s clever and beautiful wife disappears. Husband-of-the-Year Nick isn’t doing himself any favors with cringe-worthy daydreams about the slope and shape of his wife’s head, but passages from Amy's diary reveal the alpha-girl perfectionist could have put anyone dangerously on edge.
-
-
Demented, twisted, sick and I loved it!
- By Theodore on 01-20-13
By: Gillian Flynn
-
Girl, Forgotten
- By: Karin Slaughter
- Narrated by: Kathleen Early
- Length: 15 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
A girl with a secret. Longbill Beach, 1982. Emily Vaughn gets ready for the prom. For an athlete, who is smart, pretty and well-liked, this night that should be the highlight of her high school career. But Emily has a secret. And by the end of the evening, that secret will be silenced forever. Forty years later, Emily’s murder remains a mystery. Her tight-knit group of friends closed ranks; her respected, wealthy family retreated inwards; the small town moved on from her grisly attack. But all that’s about to change.
-
-
Good book but why so political
- By Christine Short on 09-02-22
By: Karin Slaughter
-
Triptych
- By: Karin Slaughter
- Narrated by: Michael Kramer
- Length: 13 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
From Atlanta's wealthiest suburbs to its stark inner-city housing projects, a killer has crossed the boundaries of wealth and race. And the people who are chasing him must cross those boundaries, too. Among them is Michael Ormewood, a veteran detective whose marriage is hanging by a thread and whose arrogance and explosive temper are threatening his career. And Angie Polaski, a beautiful vice cop who was once Michael's lover before she became his enemy.
-
-
Spoiler Alert
- By Patricia on 12-13-15
By: Karin Slaughter
-
Missing You
- By: Harlan Coben
- Narrated by: January LaVoy
- Length: 11 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Number-one New York Times best-selling author Harlan Coben set huge sales records with last year’s Six Years - and he’s poised to do it again in his next breathtaking stand-alone thriller. Harlan Coben, author of six consecutive instant number-one New York Times best sellers and a total of 24 award-winning, best-selling, and internationally acclaimed novels, returns with another ripped-from-real-life thriller full of impossibly high emotional stakes and the real-to-life characters for which he has become famous.
-
-
I Ain't Missing You
- By Susan on 03-20-14
By: Harlan Coben
-
Stay Close
- By: Harlan Coben
- Narrated by: Scott Brick
- Length: 11 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Three people living lives they never wanted, hiding secrets that even those closest to them would never suspect, will find that the past never truly fades away. Even as the terrible consequences of long-ago events crash together in the present and threaten to ruin lives, they will come to the startling realization that they may not want to forget the past at all.
-
-
Why did I think I liked Harlan Coben novels?
- By Robin on 05-10-12
By: Harlan Coben
-
Where It Hurts
- The Gus Murphy Series, Book 1
- By: Reed Farrel Coleman
- Narrated by: Chris Andrew Ciulla
- Length: 10 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Gus Murphy thought he had the world all figured out. A retired Suffolk County cop, he had everything a man could want: a great marriage, two kids, a nice house, and the rest of his life ahead of him. But when tragedy strikes, his life is thrown into complete disarray. In the course of a single deadly moment, his family is blown apart, and Gus is transformed from a man who believes he understands everything into a man who understands nothing.
-
-
A depressing, slow-moving story.
- By MidwestGeek on 04-06-16
-
Play Dirty
- By: Sandra Brown
- Narrated by: Victor Slezak
- Length: 13 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Griff Burkett has a multimillion-dollar contract with the Dallas Cowboys. But at the end of his football career, deep in debt, a crime kingpin offers him a chance to resolve his loans by throwing a game. Griff agrees, and walks into an FBI sting. After serving time, he finds only closed doors. Then he is summoned by eccentric millionaire Foster Speakman. Speakman, a recluse since a car accident left him crippled, is impotent. Deadly consequences ensue when he hires Burkett to impregnate his wife.
-
-
Typically satisfying Sandra Brown novel
- By Amazon Customer on 04-06-10
By: Sandra Brown
-
Abducted
- Lizzy Gardner, Book 1
- By: T. R. Ragan
- Narrated by: Kate Rudd
- Length: 10 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Escaping from a madman should have been the end of her nightmare. Instead it was only the beginning...Lizzy Gardner was just seventeen when she was kidnapped by the psychopath known as Spiderman, a serial killer terrorizing her California hometown. Imprisoned and tormented for months, Lizzy narrowly escaped with her life and Spiderman vanished without a trace. But if she thought he would forget her, she was dead wrong.
-
-
Good story but pretty disturbing torture scenes.
- By Sarah on 10-26-13
By: T. R. Ragan
-
The Prettiest One
- A Thriller
- By: James Hankins
- Narrated by: Bon Shaw
- Length: 10 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When Caitlin Sommers finds herself alone in a deserted parking lot with blood on her clothes and no memory of the past few months, it seems like one of the nightmares that have tormented her for years...but it's all too real. Desperate to learn the truth about where she's been and what has happened to her but terrified of what she may find, Caitlin embarks on a search for answers.
-
-
Good Suspense Thriller
- By Promote STEM on 01-24-16
By: James Hankins
-
Making Amends
- By: Melinda Clayton
- Narrated by: Michelle Babb
- Length: 5 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
On a beautiful fall evening, in the middle of a game of hide-and-seek, five-year-old Bobby Clark is kidnapped by his estranged father, a shiftless man with a history of domestic violence and drug abuse. Bobby's twin brother Ricky watches, terrified, from his hiding place behind the bougainvillea, while mother Tabby, who also struggles with addiction, lies inebriated on the living room floor.
-
-
A stolen child and stolen childhoods.
- By Terri C. on 03-30-16
By: Melinda Clayton
-
Sex, Murder, and a Double Latte
- By: Kyra Davis
- Narrated by: Gabra Zackman
- Length: 8 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Thriller scribe Sophie Katz is as hard-boiled as a woman who drinks Grande Caramel Brownie Frappuccionos can be. So Sophie knows it's not paranoia, or post-divorce, living-alone-again jitters, when she becomes convinced that a crazed reader is sneaking into her apartment to reenact scenes from her books. The police, however, can't tell a good plot from an unmarked grave.
-
-
Disappointing
- By Autumn on 01-01-06
By: Kyra Davis
-
A Deeper Darkness
- Sam Owens, Book 1
- By: J. T. Ellison
- Narrated by: Joyce Bean
- Length: 9 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
As a medical examiner, Samantha Owens knows her job is to make a certain sense of death with crisp methodology and precision instruments. But the day the Tennessee floods took her husband and children, the light vanished from Sam’s life. She has been pulled into a suffocating grief no amount of workaholic ardor can penetrate - until she receives a peculiar call from Washington, D.C. On the other end of the line is an old boyfriend’s mother, asking Sam to do a second autopsy on her son.
-
-
Sad. Weird. Sad.
- By Lisa Davidson on 04-30-16
By: J. T. Ellison
-
On the Hit List
- By: Timothy Dalton
- Narrated by: Jeff Hays
- Length: 4 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
*My name is Ellis DeAngelo.* I tend to get caught in the midst of trouble quite often. I'm an unlucky guy, but fortunate to have friends to help me out. These aren't the memoirs of a geisha you'll be hearing. And most definitely not some soul-searching discovery that depicts eating, praying, and loving. This is so much better...or worse, depending on your perspective.
-
-
This book is hi-larious.
- By superstardrifter on 11-19-16
By: Timothy Dalton
-
Never Coming Home
- By: Hannah Mary McKinnon
- Narrated by: Alex Wyndham
- Length: 8 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Lucas Forester didn’t hate his wife. Michelle was brilliant, sophisticated and beautiful. Sure, she had extravagant spending habits, that petty attitude, a total disregard for anyone below her status. But she also had a lot to offer. Most notably: wealth that only the one percent could comprehend. For years, Lucas has been honing a flawless plan to inherit Michelle’s fortune. Unfortunately, it involves taking a hit out on her. Every track is covered, no trace left behind, and now Lucas plays the grieving husband so well he deserves an award.
-
-
Absolutely loved it!
- By Amazon Customer on 06-10-22
-
The Bones of Others
- Skye Cree Series, Book 1
- By: Vickie McKeehan
- Narrated by: Teri Schnaubelt
- Length: 10 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Brutalized as a young girl by a vile sexual predator, Skye Cree is a survivor. Guided by the visions of her mystical spirit guide to the whereabouts of abducted girls, she uses her unique abilities to turn her horrifying past into a positive force for justice. Fighting the demons that have haunted her for years, she trusts only in herself - until she falls hard for a man for the first time in her life.
-
-
Just not my cup of tea!
- By Wayne on 07-11-18
By: Vickie McKeehan
-
Hazardous Duty: Squeaky Clean Mysteries, Book 1
- An Amateur Sleuth Mystery and Suspense Series, Christian Fiction
- By: Christy Barritt
- Narrated by: Reba Buhr
- Length: 6 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
On her way to completing a degree in forensic science, Gabby St. Claire drops out of school and starts her own crime scene cleaning business. When a routine cleaning job uncovers a murder weapon the police overlooked, she realizes that the wrong person is in jail. But the owner of the weapon is a powerful foe...and willing to do anything to keep Gabby quiet. With the help of her new neighbor, Riley Thomas, a man whose life and faith fascinate her, Gabby plays the detective to make sure the right person is put behind bars. Can Riley help her before another murder occurs?
-
-
Blasphemous
- By Amazon Customer on 04-10-22
By: Christy Barritt
-
Eat, Pray, Die
- By: Chelsea Field
- Narrated by: Saskia Maarleveld
- Length: 7 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Being an undercover poison taster for the rich and famous might sound glamorous, but for Isobel Avery it means stomaching bad clients and even worse coffee. The one side of the job that lives up to expectations is the money. Which is just as well for Izzy, since she needs an awful lot of it. Who knew when she made a lifelong commitment to a man that it would be one year living with him and the rest of her life paying for it?
-
-
Great!
- By Meg on 02-12-19
By: Chelsea Field
-
Raveled
- By: Anne McAneny
- Narrated by: Rebecca Roberts
- Length: 12 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
What's a girl to do when her imprisoned brother begs her to delve into their father's 16-year-old murder conviction? How about peel back the lies, upend the fairy tales, and roil the populace of Lavitte - a sweet apple of a town with a wormy, festering core? That's what Allison Fennimore chooses. Despite her infamous surname and people's wilted memories, this jaded cynic of a daughter sinks her teeth in and refuses to let go.
-
-
Not what I expected at all!
- By ❤️Cyndi Marie❤️🎧Audiobook Addicts🎧 on 07-05-15
By: Anne McAneny
What listeners say about Harmless
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Amazon Customer
- 12-07-13
I couldn't put it down!
Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?
Yes! Author Ernie Lindsey has crafted a story that is funny and entertaining with a main character who is unique, an intriguing mystery and an unconventional love story.
Did the plot keep you on the edge of your seat? How?
Steve's methods of solving the murder and the clues he turned up kept me guessing.
What does DJ Holte bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?
It was as if I had Steve following me around telling me his story and not minding when I laughed at him. That's an experience I would never get from the print version.
If you were to make a film of this book, what would the tag line be?
There's someone for everyone, even Steve.
Any additional comments?
Don't miss this one! I have to confess that I listened to it again right away.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
2 people found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Leigh
- 06-01-15
Enjoyed this book!
I was given the opportunity to listen to this book for my review. The main character was quirky and I really enjoyed him. The storyline kept me interested and waiting to hear more. Thanks for letting me listen and great job!
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
2 people found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- MSEreads
- 12-22-15
Fun mystery in spite of the protagonist
Let me be clear - the protagonist, Steve, may not be an easy character to like but he is humorous and he grows on you. Steve, a used-car salesman, is often arrogant and majorly delusional. He tends to be whiny and a blamer, blaming his failings and problems on everyone else instead of accepting responsibility for his own bad behavior and habits. Steve rages about his estranged wife and missing his two children. He is also obsessed with the postal service, occasionally going off on a tangent about its wonders.
One night Steve is awakened and looks out just in time to hear a gun shot and see his attractive new neighbor (and secret love interest) Kerry thrown from her bedroom window. Steve runs next door hoping to trap the killer but is knocked out instead. When he awakens he decides to investigate for clues and is surprised by some of the things he finds. However the most important discovery is Kerry’s diary which seems to contain a message for him.
Steve is intent on seeking revenge for Kerry and enlists the help of the local patrolman, Officer Planck, rather than turning all of the information over to the detectives. Planck also suspects something wrong with one of the investigating detectives especially after Steve’s home is broken into and newly found clues point to him as the killer.
Planck helps Steve go into hiding while a plan to prove his innocence is implemented. Steve decides the perfect place to hide out will be an abandoned post office, which he discovers is not completely abandoned.
The story, told by Steve, moves along well with plenty of humor to make-up for his sometimes pathetic character. This is a fun mystery in spite of -and because of- the irritating protagonist. Along the way I began to feel empathy for Steve and I liked the surprises that came up at the end. I am glad this was offered for review as I might not have picked this out on my own yet I found it to be an unusual and engaging mystery.
Audio Notes: DJ Holte does a great job conveying Steve’s irritating traits of whininess, arrogance, and ridiculousness. The delivery and pace work well with the strange presentation of the mystery by Steve.
I received this title from the narrator for an honest review.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
2 people found this helpful