
Grand Theft Sorcery
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Narrated by:
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Tess Irondale
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By:
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Elliott Kay
About this listen
The vampire lord of Los Angeles is dead, plunging the nightlife into chaos. His subjects fight over his title and his missing treasure hoard. The conflict pushes werewolves, sorcerers, and djinn closer than ever to open war.
Repo man Evan Murphy knows nothing of the supernatural. He only wants a roof over his head and food for his cats. When a risky job lands him in the dungeon of a Hollywood Hills necromancer, a forgotten god offers him the power to escape—making him the target of a beautiful immortal mercenary and every monster within a hundred miles. Evan’s new magic may save the city from its shadows, but only if he can save himself.
Warning: Grand Theft Sorcery contains explicit violence, explicit criticism of American law enforcement, bilingual profanity, a meet-cute that ends in homicide, conspicuous consumption, Los Angeles, demons, monsters, cops, vampires, talent agents, tautologies, street racing, attempted murder, successful murder, axe murder, motorcycle helmet murder, matching basketball hoodies, carjacking, kidnapping, brief torture, discovery of animal abuse (past/off-page), destruction of evidence, rampant traffic violations, premeditated hotel reservation with only one bed, desecration of the dead, awkward meetings with the ex, awkward meetings with the ex’s mom, deadly bisexuals, hypermasculine podcaster trash, acknowledgment of white privilege, false license plates, conspiracy, squatting, looting, mauling, home invasion, trespassing, witchcraft, abuse of authority, aggressive generosity, arguable cannibalism, destruction of private property, search warrant violations, outright lies, phone hacking, petty theft, grand larceny, vandalism, arson, defenestration, resisting arrest, driving under the influence of existential shock, appropriation of queer meme culture, shooting, punching, kicking, biting, couch surfing, bribery of wildlife, old-timey Hollywood stereotypes, internet sexism and exploitation thereof, unflattering implications about heaven and angels, two entirely normal cats, and the Black Dog of the Mojave.
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Story
Kyler Stragos was once a thousand-year-old vampire, ruling as the Lord of Blood over a realm devastated by the vampire apocalypse. But even the mightiest fall. When he finally meets his end, he's the last vampire lord standing, killed by two heroes, whom he drags with him into death. (At least he has that.) But death isn't the end. Instead of eternal darkness for this soulless being, Kyler awakens in a strange world, no longer the ancient predator he once was. His new reality is a role-based leveling system in which only the strongest and rarest classes have power.
By: J. V. Simms
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Isekai Park
- Light Novel LitRPG
- By: Mike Caliban, Wolfe Locke
- Narrated by: Jessica Threet
- Length: 11 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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In the otherworld realm of Parknival Wonderland begins the story of a boy who loves a girl. Meet Grey, a former baker turned magical park manager, and Billie, a curious and innocent dungeon spirit who dreams of being human. Together, they embark on a journey of creation, wonder, and unexpected romance.
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Great story
- By Anonymous User on 06-17-25
By: Mike Caliban, and others
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Osea
- An Isarine Story
- By: S. E. T.
- Narrated by: Shelby Rankin
- Length: 15 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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When her peaceful town is razed by the ethereal flames of a heavenly bird, Haevynne decides to follow in her sister’s footsteps to join the Aleksarian Guard. Driven by the madness of loss, and committed to preventing such an atrocity from ever happening again, Hae is forced to leverage every tool at her arsenal to continue barreling forward, three steps at a time, toward her goals. But what are the consequences of her burning ambitions, and where will they lead her? When the smoke clears, who will Hae reveal herself to be? Osea is a fantasy novel about identity, sacrifice, dreams, and love.
By: S. E. T.
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Path of the Forerunner
- The System Arrives, Book 1
- By: Terry Carter
- Narrated by: Hannah Trusty, Brad Derry
- Length: 16 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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One Tuesday changes everything for Robert Williams. A cosmic entity known as the System arrives, selecting him—a suburban father and engineer—as Earth's sole representative for integration. He has six months to say goodbye to his family before being exiled to another universe for over 400 years. Guided by an AI companion and gifted with powerful starting perks, Robert must navigate a new reality defined by levels, skills, magic, and dungeon crawls.
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Alright but also annoying
- By Anonymous User on 06-25-25
By: Terry Carter
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The Connection
- Forging Steel
- By: Gaston King
- Narrated by: Gaston King, Marcus Roberts
- Length: 11 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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In the year 3045, lies 18-year-old Justin Steele, mentored for the past decade by his grandfather in combat and the intricacies of the animal kingdom. Seeking recognition from his father, Noah, the top protector of their country Ignacia, Justin strives to forge his own path by surpassing the difficult trials of the Wildlife Training Program (WT). Each member is awarded an animal partner, and the pair are reintroduced into a select part of the country depending on the assigned animal. Justin’s journey unfolds as he is partnered with Coco, a South American coatimundi.
By: Gaston King
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Songs of the Abyss
- A Collection of Thrilling and Terrifying Tales
- By: Robert J. Bradshaw, Velox Books
- Narrated by: Geoff Sturtevant
- Length: 9 hrs
- Unabridged
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In the void of space, alien creatures puppet dead flesh through darkened corridors. A simple date becomes a dance with a shapeshifting horror, while shadow creatures stalk forgotten towns. And in quiet suburban homes, doors to nightmare realms appear in ordinary basements.
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Another Great Collection!
- By wigsandwanderlust on 06-20-25
By: Robert J. Bradshaw, and others
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The Daughters of God
- Etherium, Book 1
- By: Phoenix Clarke
- Narrated by: Simon Garbutt
- Length: 10 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Ancercy is the fatal disease spread to mankind when they sleep with daemons. While the south of an otherwise unremarkable kingdom becomes embroiled in an epidemic of this foul affliction, and those within seek the desperate cure, there are those without who are working to hasten the spread of ancercy. And with the mayor’s son starting to be turned away from parlour doors, even the queen has taken time from her daughter’s baptism to attend to the matter; a baptism through which the future of this very kingdom will be told in smoke and water.
By: Phoenix Clarke
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Godscourge, Book 1: Star Crucible
- A Progression Fantasy Adventure
- By: Felix Taylor
- Narrated by: Michelle Stull
- Length: 15 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Abandoned. Desperate. And a source of infinite power in the palm of her hands. The gods, ascended masters of mana, rule over the universe with an iron fist. Vayra, growing up as a mortal street rat, only knew a few things: they loved power, hierarchies, and respect. She was at the bottom of the food chain. She was never supposed to amount to much. But she refuses to accept her fate. She’ll do anything to rise above her circumstances, including forming a pact with a rebellious goddess to kickstart her path to the top. Or, maybe just mastering a starlight-based Path—something very illegal.
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pirate punk in space
- By samual adams on 06-30-25
By: Felix Taylor
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Trailer Park Bikini Vampires
- By: Virgil Knightley, Edgar Riggs
- Narrated by: Jonathan Waters, Amber Hartt
- Length: 12 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Dean Castle arrived at Evermoon Hollow with nothing but his truck, his toolbox, and a whole lot of guns. Now he's the sole human handyman in a survival commune filled with gorgeous vampire women. With their unique diet compromising their strength, they need not only his practical skills, but also his killer instinct to survive. Building plumbing systems, blasting monsters, scavenging the wasteland, and unlocking supernatural powers with an unlikely fey companion—all in a day's work for our hero.
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Can’t go wrong with a coven of horny vampires!
- By Davis on 06-25-25
By: Virgil Knightley, and others
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The Chaos Gate
- The Ever Hero Saga, Book 1
- By: Jeff Pantanella
- Narrated by: Ulf Bjorklund
- Length: 13 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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A mystic warrior monk of Ordu flees a doomed mountaintop monastery with his wounded master in a desperate attempt to escape wicked creatures of nightmare. A chance encounter with a wood witch possessing untapped Elemenati magic, and the forbidden attraction that follows, propel two unlikely loners into events that will change the face of the Three Kingdoms of Hanna forever. Meanwhile, a sorcerer's war is brewing in the North, and a mad duke plans his vengeance against the king's throne of Baroqia.
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Not my style
- By Fatbob08 on 06-29-25
By: Jeff Pantanella
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Master of Monster Arts
- A LitRPG Adventure
- By: Aaron Oster
- Narrated by: Adam Verner
- Length: 16 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Craig's goal is a simple one: complete the World-level quest given to him by Daimon, the mysterious immortal with the power to halt the progress of time. While his world remains in limbo, an instant away from total annihilation, Craig must tackle the challenges set forth by the quest. With nearly two centuries of experience under his belt, it should be easy. If only he were competing against himself. Marsh, his most bitter rival, has been sent to this world as well and given the same quest.
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So boring
- By Ruykann on 06-30-25
By: Aaron Oster
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Spiritbridge
- Rift, Book 1
- By: Chris Fritschi
- Narrated by: Dave Cruse
- Length: 12 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Kase, a quick-witted mage thief, hunts for his stolen past and will risk anything to find it. Brell, a relentless bounty hunter, chases the deadliest reward of her career but harbors a dark secret that’s just as dangerous. Among the cursed ruins of an ancient battlefield, fate twists their paths together when they’re attacked by a demon of steel and cunning, determined to create a technological army and unleash it on the world.
By: Chris Fritschi
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Gothic Lolita
- By: Lotus Rose
- Narrated by: Virtual Voice
- Length: 1 hr and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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From the author of Malice in Wonderland. Emilie is a supermodel battling with a bad childhood and alcoholism. When a handsome billionaire offers to photograph her, she has no idea her life will soon be in danger. Too late, she discovers that the girls he photographs are becoming suicidal. The billionaire decorates his walls with paintings of a scarred woman who was gorgeous before she was cut. Emilie realizes she must find out who that woman was if she ever hopes to survive. And she must figure out who the mysterious little girl was who visited her, the little girl with the scar on the side...
By: Lotus Rose
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Shifter City Hero
- An Urban Fantasy Adventure (A Lion's Pride, Book 1)
- By: Shane Hammond
- Narrated by: Jude Erin, Rhys David
- Length: 13 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Become a shifter. Build my pride. Be the leader these people need. I’ve always known I was different. There’s a beast inside me, clawing to get free—and it finally breaks loose when I return to Thornveil City, a magic-soaked metropolis crawling with shifters.
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What a great shifter book
- By Shawn Hanselman on 06-28-25
By: Shane Hammond
Exciting and interesting
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another banger!
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Great Series
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Excellent!
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Fantastic Story and Voices
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Content warning is misleading
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