
Dead Clown Barbecue
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Narrated by:
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Andy Barker
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By:
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Jeff Strand
About this listen
A man who finds a severed nose on a plate on his dining room table. A bell that can summon Satan (maybe). Casual Fridays at work that get out of control. A cheery outlook on the post-apocalyptic landscape. The final thoughts of a doomed skydiver. A girl punished by having to share a bed with her grandmother’s corpse. Revenge via baking a tarantula into a cake. A romance between two carnivorous, genetically enhanced plants. And the lost tale of Fangboy.
These are only a few of the demented stories in Dead Clown Barbecue, a collection of 29 gleefully macabre tales, seven of which were written just for this collection. There’s even a brand-new one about a ventriloquist dummy. Those things creep you out, right?
You’ll laugh. You’ll scream. Okay...you probably won’t actually scream, unless you already had issues before you started listening, but you might cringe and get a little spooked.
©2013 Jeff Strand (P)2018 Jeff StrandListeners also enjoyed...
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Alex stared at the red pocketknife shown to him by his daughter. A pocketknife owned by somebody he hadn't seen in years. They met first in boarding school at age 12. Alex Fletcher, shy and scared. Darren Rust, always furiously scribbling away in a private journal. It was not an immediate friendship, but then one night Darren convinced his roommate to sneak off school grounds to see something glorious.
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Refreshingly Riveting GrittyThriller! LOVED IT!
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HE DIDN'T OUTSMART US
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Graverobbers Wanted: No Experience Necessary
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When you’re desperate for money, searching for a little adventure, and aren’t the most responsible person in the world, you can end up doing some outrageous things. Which is how Andrew Mayhem, a married father of two, ends up accepting $20,000 to find a key - a key buried with a body in a shallow grave. But what he finds in the grave isn’t quite what he expected, and what begins as a simple evening of morally questionable manual labor turns into a really good way to die.
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Tried to get through it.
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When Toby Floren was eight years old, he discovered a monster living in the woods behind his house. A ghastly, frightening creature with claws, fangs, and a taste for human flesh. As he ran out of the forest, screaming, Toby felt that he'd been lucky to escape with his life. Years later, Toby finds comfort with the creature. It's his own special secret - something that nobody else in the world knows about. Somebody to talk to. Somebody to confide in.
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I can't even...
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Ferocious
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Rusty Moss has raised his niece Mia since she was a baby. Now that she's almost 18, he's worried that the life he's given her - living off the grid in a cabin deep in the woods - is holding her back from her full potential. But that angst gets pushed aside when the undead forest animals arrive. At first it's just a squirrel - shockingly violent and almost impossible to kill. Followed by a grizzly bear, also aggressive and resilient, even when point-blank shotgun blasts to the face are involved.
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Fast, furry and hilarious!!!
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Sick House
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It doesn't seem like the perfect house, but screw it, it's good enough to rent for a year. Unfortunately for Boyd, Adeline, and their two young daughters, it's immediately clear they chose the wrong place. The nightmare begins with violent coughs and headaches. Food starts to rot almost as soon as they take it inside. A pet tarantula goes missing. Some family members begin to exhibit creepy behavior. Then the ghosts arrive, and all hell breaks loose....
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This House is Sick
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I Have a Bad Feeling about This
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Henry Lambert would rather play video games than spend time in the great outdoors - but that doesn't make him a wuss. Skinny nerd? Fine. But wuss is a little harsh. Sadly, his dad doesn't agree. Which is why Henry is being shipped off to Strongwoods Survival Camp. Strongwoods isn't exactly as advertised. It looks like the victim of a zombie apocalypse, the "camp director" is a psycho drill sergeant, and Henry's sure he saw a sign written in blood...
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Entertaining
- By JunieJ on 01-22-17
By: Jeff Strand
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Head Like a Hole
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- Unabridged
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It’s the mid-'90s. Grunge and flannel are fading as the Spice Girls and Hot Topic conquer the malls. Cherry gloss glistens on the lips of the youth. Modems hiss as America comes online. And in a fog-drenched cove at the edge of New England, something terrible awakens when a fisherman reels in a gruesome catch: the remains of a young woman. Remains still pulsing with furious life.
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Very Original Horror Story
- By Mistsofjade on 12-12-22
By: Andrew Van Wey
What listeners say about Dead Clown Barbecue
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- FictionFreak
- 08-07-18
BBQ
Dead Clown Barbecue is a crazy collection of disturbing, silly, and horrifying stories, not all at once and not in that order, necessarily. Andy Barker’s narration is surprisingly fitting for Jeff Strand’s writing style. Check it out, won’t you?
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- BKS
- 07-14-18
Gob Stopping
I have always had what I like to call a "British Sense of Humour" (see what I did there spelled Humour like the English do) which is very dry and slightly sarcastic, I suppose the word Ironic fits also. I have listened to many Strand works and find them to be highly sarcastic and immensely enjoyable, this book was no exception. The accent of the narrator was perfect and made the stories even more hilarious.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Tod M. Clark
- 07-15-18
A Collection of Demented Stories
While the stories are twisted and demented, they include humor as well, very dark humor.
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- Shieldslinger
- 07-10-18
Solid collection of scary funny shorts
Jeff Strand delivers exactly what you are expecting from him scary, funny, gross-out short stories.
From clown cannibalism to giant-sized vampires to avoiding zombies via jet ski these run the gamut and will satisfy your craving for weirdly humorous horror.
Well worth your time and money.
Andy Barker is an excellent narrator.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Dan Bugbee
- 08-26-22
If Stephen King and Monty Python had a love child.
This was my first Jeff Strand short story collection. I will certainly be looking for more like it. I absolutely loved the delivery of the prose (credit to the narrator as well) and enjoyed a bumper crop of giggles and guffaws alongside some cringeworthy descriptions. I believe that Mr. Strand may be the "Weird Al" Yankovic of comedy horror. Well done!
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- Jennifer
- 03-22-20
Hilarious
My husband probably thinks I’m loosing it now lol. I always listen to audiobooks while I’m going to sleep while wearing headphones and he woke up looking at me like I had lost my mind which with being under quarantine like everyone else with nothing to do is understandable I suppose. But I found myself laughing out loud in the middle of the night repeatedly while he was trying to sleep I found it hilarious , him not so much. If you like disturbing, extremely funny stories I definitely recommend this one. I was given this audio in exchange for honest and voluntary review.
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- James D. Hatheway
- 09-18-18
Great find!
Wow, really loved this audio book. Jeff is a real hoot. And Andy Barker is the perfect narrator for this type of book. Perfect timing and inflection. Only wish they had "Gleefully macabre tales" on audio. Anyway I was quite entertained by this listen. Perfect combination of humor and horror.Will definitely keep Jeff Strand on my list! Now on to "Wolf hunt" ; )
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- Kindle Customer
- 11-11-18
The love of horror, Jeff Strand, and Andy Barker
This is a perfect storm in book form. It is a mix of my favorite writer, Jeff Strand (who if I was a girl I’d have his baby), a great orator, Andy Barker (no baby, but a kiss on the check), and of course, Audible (we’ll talk later). If you, the reader/listener have money, buy all of Jeff Strad’s books. If your listening Audible, get Andy to read more books.
So get off your plump dupas, and pay these artist more (readers and Audible). Oh and tell Mark Tufo to start writing his own books again. Sean R. your still a great reader, thanks.
GregoryMartin
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- F. Delaney
- 11-14-18
Dont waste your time
This book was garbage could not finish the first story, don't waste your time. I would rather watch paint dry.
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