
Can't Spell Treason Without Tea
Tomes & Tea, Book 1
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Narrated by:
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Jessica Threet
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By:
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Rebecca Thorne
About this listen
“The sapphic romance is brought to the forefront through Jessica Threet’s emotional depth and compelling lilt.”—Booklist
In the tradition of Legends & Lattes, comes a cozy fantasy steeped in sapphic romance about one of the Queen’s private guards and a powerful mage who want to open a bookshop and live happily ever after…if only the world would let them.
All Reyna and Kianthe want is to open a bookshop that serves tea. Worn wooden floors, plants on every table, firelight drifting between the rafters… all complemented by love and good company. Thing is, Reyna works as one of the Queen’s private guards, and Kianthe is the most powerful mage in existence. Leaving their lives isn’t so easy.
But after an assassin takes Reyna hostage, she decides she’s thoroughly done risking her life for a self-centered queen. Meanwhile, Kianthe has been waiting for a chance to flee responsibility–all the better that her girlfriend is on board. Together, they settle in Tawney, a town nestled in the icy tundra near dragon country, and open the shop of their dreams.
What follows is a cozy tale of mishaps, mysteries, and a murderous queen throwing the realm’s biggest temper tantrum. In a story brimming with hurt/comfort and quiet fireside conversations, these two women will discover just what they mean to each other… and the world.
A Macmillan Audio production from Bramble Books.
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Story
There is only one way to travel across the Wastelands: on the Trans-Siberian Express, a train as famous for its luxury as for its danger. The train is never short of passengers, eager to catch sight of Wastelands creatures more miraculous and terrifying than anything they could imagine. But on the train's last journey, something went horribly wrong, though no one seems to remember what exactly happened. Not even Zhang Weiwei, who has spent her life onboard and thought she knew all of the train’s secrets.
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Narration cadence too clipped
- By ulan25 on 08-03-24
By: Sarah Brooks
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A Grim Reaper's Guide to Catching a Killer
- A SCYTHE Mystery
- By: Maxie Dara
- Narrated by: Jaime Lamchick
- Length: 9 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Murder is not her department. It’s not like it used to be. Modern-day grim reapers wear business casual, not black cloaks, and they don’t carry scythes, they work for S. C. Y. T. H. E. (Secure Collection, Yielding, and Transportation of Human Essences), where the Department of Natural Causes is the least exciting gig. And that’s how Kathy Valence likes it: boring and predictable. She has enough stress in her personal life; she’s mid-divorce, pregnant, and terrified she doesn’t have what it takes to be a good mom. Then, she goes to pick up a new client and finds his soul is missing.
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Fun and interesting
- By Jessica Garcia on 11-05-24
By: Maxie Dara
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The Day Death Stopped
- By: Rebecca Thorne
- Narrated by: Moira Quirk
- Length: 12 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Listen. Claire Bishop is Las Vegas’s greatest stage magician, and she’s perfectly happy with that fame. Ozarik is the next Zaro, the leader of the world’s witches, the modern-day Darcy everyone swoons over. Just because Claire shares a Zaro’s unfathomable magic doesn’t mean she shares the responsibility. So, if Ozarik wants to make himself a villain by casting an ultra-dangerous spell to stop death on Earth “for her,” to “protect her,” that sounds like a him-problem. Claire has a show in four hours. Skipping it to save the world might give her manager a heart attack.
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Intriguing but flawed - still recommended!
- By Michael J. Anderson on 05-07-24
By: Rebecca Thorne
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The Book Eaters
- By: Sunyi Dean
- Narrated by: Katie Erich
- Length: 13 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Out on the Yorkshire Moors lives a secret line of people for whom books are food, and who retain all of a book's content after eating it. To them, spy novels are a peppery snack; romance novels are sweet and delicious. Eating a map can help them remember destinations, and children, when they misbehave, are forced to eat dry, musty pages from dictionaries.
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Book worth a college course on it's own.
- By SW;MDA on 10-08-22
By: Sunyi Dean
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Demon in the Wood
- A Shadow and Bone Graphic Novel
- By: Leigh Bardugo
- Narrated by: Ben Barnes, Benjamin Valic, Cassandra Morris, and others
- Length: 1 hr and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Before he led Ravka’s Second Army, before he created the Fold, and long before he became the Darkling, he was just a lonely boy burdened by an extraordinary power. Eryk and his mother, Lena, have spent their lives on the run. But they will never find a safe haven. They are not only Grisha—they are the deadliest and rarest of their kind.
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Too short
- By Julie D on 12-12-22
By: Leigh Bardugo
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Of Bone and Thunder
- A Novel
- By: Chris Evans
- Narrated by: Todd Haberkorn
- Length: 16 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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In this strange, new world deep among the shadows under a triple-canopy jungle and plagued by dangers real and imagined, soldiers strive to fulfill a mission they don’t understand and are ill-equipped to carry out. And high above them, the heavy rush of wings slashing through the humid air herald a coming wave of death and destruction, and just possibly, salvation.
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Vietnam in Fantasyland
- By Michael D. Stuart on 04-19-25
By: Chris Evans
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Starless
- By: Jacqueline Carey
- Narrated by: Caitlin Davies
- Length: 21 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Destined from birth to serve as protector of the princess Zariya, Khai is trained in the arts of killing and stealth by a warrior sect in the deep desert; yet there is one profound truth that has been withheld from him. In the court of the Sun-Blessed, Khai must learn to navigate deadly intrigue and his own conflicted identity…but in the far reaches of the western seas, the dark god Miasmus is rising, intent on nothing less than wholesale destruction.
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The most beautiful thing I've enjoyed this year!
- By DabOfDarkness on 08-06-18
By: Jacqueline Carey
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Late Bloomer
- A Novel
- By: Mazey Eddings
- Narrated by: Ellie Gossage
- Length: 9 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Winning the lottery has ruined Opal Devlin's life. After quitting her dead-end job where she’d earned minimum wage and even less respect, she’s bombarded by people knocking at her door for a handout the second they found out her bank account was overflowing with cash. And Opal can’t seem to stop saying yes.
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Cringe
- By sydney walker on 03-16-25
By: Mazey Eddings
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Third Eye
- By: Felicia Day
- Narrated by: Sean Astin, Felicia Day, Neil Gaiman, and others
- Length: 6 hrs and 56 mins
- Original Recording
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Once upon a time, in the magical land of San Francisco, there lived a not-so-ordinary girl named Laurel Pettigrew. She was supposed to be the Chosen One. The plan was simple: She would vanquish the great evil Tybus in an epic battle. But destiny had other ideas, and Laurel's performance in the whole heroics department was a colossal flop. Now, instead of being a legendary hero, Laurel's the resident pariah of the magic realm. And what’s worse, the dark wizard Tybus swooped in, took over the realm, and forced all supernatural creatures to live under his tyrannical rule.
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This has to be good, right?! Right?? Right......?
- By S. Apple on 10-11-23
By: Felicia Day
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Scatter
- Heart of Heroes Series, Book 1
- By: Molly J. Bragg
- Narrated by: Jennifer Pickens
- Length: 10 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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When Deputy US Marshal Danielle "Danny" Martin was told she'd gotten a promotion, she expected to be leading her own fugitive retrieval team. Instead, she got transferred to Pontian, Florida, of all places, and assigned to a Superhero support detail for Focus, a seemingly immortal superhero who is also one of the most famous lesbian icons on the planet. Bad enough she's got to spend every day working with a woman she's had a crush on since she was five years old, but when she arrives at her new post, things start getting weird.
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Its even better in audio form
- By Andrew Ratka on 04-05-23
By: Molly J. Bragg
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The Courting of Bristol Keats
- A Novel
- By: Mary E. Pearson
- Narrated by: Brittany Pressley
- Length: 17 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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After losing both their parents, Bristol Keats and her sisters struggle to stay afloat in their small, quiet town of Bowskeep. When Bristol begins to receive letters from an “aunt” she’s never heard of who promises she can help, she reluctantly agrees to meet—and discovers that everything she thought she knew about her family is a lie. Even her father might still be alive, not killed but kidnapped by terrifying creatures to a whole other realm—the one he is from.
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Not what I expected
- By CC on 11-22-24
By: Mary E. Pearson
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Gwen & Art Are Not in Love
- A Novel
- By: Lex Croucher
- Narrated by: Alex Singh, Sarah Ovens
- Length: 10 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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It’s been hundreds of years since King Arthur’s reign. His descendant, Arthur, a future Lord and general gadabout, has been betrothed to Gwendoline, the quick-witted, short-tempered princess of England, since birth. The only thing they can agree on is that they despise each other. They’re forced to spend the summer together at Camelot in the run up to their nuptials, and within 24 hours, Gwen has discovered Arthur kissing a boy and Arthur has gone digging for Gwen's childhood diary and found confessions about her crush on the kingdom's only lady knight, Bridget Leclair.
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Feel Good and Easy Read
- By Margaret Morgan on 01-11-24
By: Lex Croucher
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Mistress of All Evil
- A Tale of the Dark Fairy
- By: Serena Valentino
- Narrated by: Lucy Rayner
- Length: 6 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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What is the story of the dark fairy, Maleficent? Why does she curse the innocent princess? What led to her becoming so filled with malice, anger, and hatred? Many tales have tried to explain her motives. Here is one account, pulled down from the many passed down through the ages. It is a tale of love and betrayal, of magic and reveries. It is a tale of the mistress of all evil.
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The last book is the best
- By Tantie on 03-26-18
By: Serena Valentino
What listeners say about Can't Spell Treason Without Tea
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- Sara Cooper
- 07-08-24
Great characters, and wonderful voice work!
This is such a cute story, with a pleasantly surprising amount of plot and intrigue that I wasn’t expecting! I love the way the main relationship is written, and the naturalness of pretty much all the dialogue. I also appreciated that al the characters in the story feel like real people with their own histories, without weighing down the plot. The worldbuilding is subtle enough to allow for natural discovery by the reader, and when exposition is given, it feels interesting and earned. The voice actor is also wonderful, and brings the already-individualized personalities of the main and side characters to life!
All in all, an enjoyable, cozy read that I’ll definitely be revisiting!
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- David Tousey
- 06-18-24
A Cozy Cup of Tea
A wonderful, punny, and well steeped romantic story! Absolutely love the pace of the story and a mix of cozy with a bit of adventure!
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- Lei
- 07-27-24
Cozy and Adventurous
I loved this book so thoroughly. I think what really got me hooked was the fact that it wasn’t the beginning of a love story, when you meet the main characters, they’re already in love. They’re choosing to make their life happen and it’s really a beautiful story.
Pre ordered the next book already 💙
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- jgames111
- 10-19-24
Cozy escape from execution and facing dragons.
A suprisingly aggressively delightful and cozy fantasy story of a lesbian mage and guard escape to a small town. I was just thinking of my favorite lesbian couple and realized that too often we only see the path to them getting together rather than spending their time together, and that too bad because then you miss really good chemistry that the couple have in this story. Just enough tension and charm to keep reader engage while being cozy. Also huge prop to the narrator for doing an awesome job as well as the author of course for the writing.
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- Kristia P.
- 02-23-25
why was this so hard to follow?
"Run away with me. You like tea. I like books. Care to open a shop and forget the world exists?"
Can't Spell Treason Without Tea | Rebecca Thorne
⭐⭐⭐
Reyna (a queen's guard) abandons her post and runs away with her girlfriend Kianthe (a powerful mage) to the small town of Tawney where they open a tea shop. They have to deal with bandits, dragon attacks, secret identities, and competing ownership of the town.
This was a really slow start for me and I ended up having to switch to audio, which did help. But, I struggled immensely with keeping the characters straight, not just the two MCd, but the side characters too.
I think it's time for me to accept that cozy fantasy isn't really my genre. I wanted more excitement. The dragon attack scene was fun, but short, that sorta thing. A lot of the time I was just bored during the book.
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- rachel mejia
- 03-29-25
the story itself and how beautiful it flowed
I loved this book I cant wait to read the next one and the third one
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- Louise
- 03-29-25
Tried to be Legends and Lattes
This book is a cute comfy finding your place book. Tried to bring the same feel as Legends and Lattes. Didn’t quite get there. Characters are kind of flat, no character growth, predicable outcomes. But a nice cozy happy ending read for those looking for that feel.
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1 person found this helpful
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- LF
- 05-12-24
Cute, cozy, flirty and with stakes.
Legends and Lates but with more emotional fluency and higher stakes. Narrator disnt just read it, she PERFORMED it.
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- Jennie
- 05-18-24
A fantastic Cozy Saphic book
I adored this book. I've been struggling to find a good book recently and this one was definetly my cup of tea. I devoured it. Definetly a fantastic cozy read.
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- Heather
- 06-17-24
Cozy Fantasy at its best!
This book is so well crafted. The characters are lovable and unique. It is easy for the reader to become invested in their lives and their funny quirks. Way better than Legends and Lattes!
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