
Beautiful Chaos
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Narrated by:
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Michael Dean
About this listen
Silas
My home is my sanctuary. Or is it my prison? Some days it's hard to tell.
I've confined myself behind these walls for protection. I have my reasons, but that doesn't change the profound loneliness I've discovered in the process.
Then one day I find myself drifting toward the window to see him. Corey Marshall, my new neighbor. Quiet, reserved, and cute as can be. He infects my thoughts, becomes the image I fantasize about.
I want to taste his lips, smell his scent...feel what it's like to be inside him.
And soon, watching becomes exchanging gifts and messages, which becomes so much more.
It's wrong to want this as badly as I do, but I can't help myself. I crave him so desperately. It's hard to tell if what we're doing is going to make me lose my mind or change my entire world, but it's too late to turn back now....
Corey
I've never been quite right. Too high or too low. Pain is my constant companion...at the hands of my abusive ex, and often from myself. The sweet relief is only temporary, but in those moments, it's like I can finally breathe.
Then I meet him. Silas Rizner calms the chaotic storms inside me. He makes me feel loved, treasured, even when I don't deserve it. I cherish the moments we share - cooking, cuddling, and when Silas reads to me until I fall asleep. When he's inside me, it's the only time in my life I've ever felt complete.
Silas becomes the glue that holds me together, that bandages my scars. Inside the walls of his home, we're almost safe, but our demons are always there, waiting to break free.
We're a mess. We're broken, chaotic, beautiful; we're in love.
But not even love can slay our monsters. No, only we can do that.
Unless our monsters destroy us first.
TRIGGERS: Self-harm, depression, anxiety, mentions of past domestic violence.
*While the sexual situations depicted in Beautiful Chaos are imperative to the characters' development throughout the course of the novel, listeners are advised to hear the "Dear Reader" letter at the beginning of the book to help them make an informed decision about whether this particular story will be to their tastes.
©2018 Devon McCormack, Riley Hart (P)2018 Devon McCormack, Riley HartListeners also enjoyed...
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Story
Out and proud NFL star tight end Tad Roarke has success, money, and fame. Just about everything. Except a good reputation. After being outed by the media as a promiscuous cheat, sponsors are dropping him left and right. To make matters worse, he's been targeted as the next victim of an anti-gay celebrity serial killer. The FBI works with his team to protect him, assigning agent Bryce Finnegan as his undercover bodyguard. But Tad doesn't like Bryce from the get-go. The fed thinks he's a spoiled brat. Maybe he's right.
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Fantastically Hot
- By H. Spanarella on 10-23-18
By: Devon McCormack
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Depth of Field
- Last Chance, Book 1
- By: Riley Hart
- Narrated by: Tristan James
- Length: 8 hrs
- Unabridged
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Shane Wallace has made a decent life for himself in Last Chance. He built his own home on his mom's property to take care of her, owns an automotive repair shop, and when he wants to get laid, Portland isn't too far away. Not too shabby for the boy who spent his childhood getting bullied and feeling alone. Shane's content to leave his past behind him...until one of his childhood tormentors comes back to town. Maxwell Sullivan never planned to step foot in Last Chance again.
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Awesome 💕💕
- By Kate M on 09-27-17
By: Riley Hart
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Of Sunlight and Stardust
- By: Christina Lee, Riley Hart
- Narrated by: Tristan James, Kale Williams
- Length: 7 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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After the death of his wife, Tanner Rowe takes a step toward making her dying wish come true and buys the house with the dilapidated barn she'd been drawn to in the Upper Peninsula. But after a year, he still can't get past his grief long enough to make the repairs he'd promised. Recently out of prison, Cole Lachlan has little to his name. Homeless, broke, and without many options as a felon, Cole heads to Red Bluff with hopes of a second chance. There he meets Tanner, whose loneliness mirrors his own, and soon Cole is trading room and board for rebuilding the burned-out barn.
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I rated high but I don't LIKE the ending.
- By Buscatlady on 06-03-19
By: Christina Lee, and others
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Giving Chase
- Havenwood, Book 1
- By: Riley Hart
- Narrated by: Kale Williams
- Length: 7 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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I wasn't supposed to fall for my older brother's best friend. Unfortunately, that ship sailed when I was a teenager, even though Chase Hawthorne always treated me like nothing more than a younger sibling. Things were worse after my parents died. Chase was sweet and supportive, which only strengthened my feelings for him. But then he'd act like I couldn't take care of myself, and that part didn't go over well with me. Yeah, I had a habit of screwing up.
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Would NOT recommend
- By jason miller on 05-28-20
By: Riley Hart
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Only for the Weekend
- By: Riley Hart
- Narrated by: John Solo
- Length: 7 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Nothing in my life is really mine. I take care of my mama, work three jobs, I’m there when anyone needs me. Something about the beautiful, lonely man on my mail route interests me. He’s different in my world, where everything’s the same. I think he hates me, but that doesn’t stop me from hand-delivering every package and trying to find ways to make him smile. Then Emerson makes me an offer: He’ll pay me to spend the weekends with him, losing ourselves in each other’s bodies, no feelings or pasts involved.
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Hmmmmmm
- By Lady Di on 08-25-22
By: Riley Hart
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BFF: Best Friend's Father
- By: Devon McCormack
- Narrated by: Michael Dean
- Length: 8 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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A beach vacay with my best bud since college seems like the perfect opportunity to relax, catch some rays, and enjoy a couple of nights on the town. When I find a girl who's eager to mess around with me, I figure I've got it made. Then, I meet the intense, hot-as-hell, tattooed Eric Westright, who wrecks my world...in the best possible way. He awakens something within me - something that's always been here, but that's never pulled so powerfully...not until I looked into those solemn blue eyes and felt the red-hot spark of his touch.
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Taboo never looked so good
- By Erryn Barratt on 03-26-18
By: Devon McCormack
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FU
- Fixer Uppers
- By: Devon McCormack
- Narrated by: Michael Dean
- Length: 8 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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I've never messed around with a guy before. Not that I haven't been attracted to guys. The opportunity just never came up. I stand at the front door, naked. My bro's roomie, Scott, is pissed about how much noise I made with the girl I just escorted out of their apartment, but I figured we were alone, and I couldn't help that she liked to scream out to let me know she was enjoying herself.
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Emotional Rollercoaster
- By Matty D. on 02-05-18
By: Devon McCormack
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Looking for Trouble
- By: Riley Hart
- Narrated by: Michael Dean
- Length: 7 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Dylan Sutton doesn't go looking for trouble, but it always seems to find him. After the devastating loss of his father, he travels across the country to deliver a letter to his dad's estranged best friend. But surely, he deserves a night of relaxation when he first gets to town, right? He sets his sights on the attractive older guy at the bar - except his almost-one-night-stand turns out to be the very man he's in town to see. Oops.
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Lovely but/and graphic
- By Litbovely on 05-30-19
By: Riley Hart
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Filthy Little Secret
- By: Devon McCormack
- Narrated by: Michael Dean
- Length: 6 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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After breaking up with his cheating ex, Mark Kenmore turns to rebound sex with the campus drug dealer, Tim Halwell. He's heard the rumors about all the hearts Tim's broken, but after how he's been hurt, there's no way he'll let himself fall into that trap. Besides, if the press found out he was screwing around with a drug dealer, it would tarnish his governor mother's reputation. He expects the sex to be hot and exciting. What he doesn't expect is the most intense, mind-blowing experience he's ever had.
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Wow!!
- By Kate M on 09-02-17
By: Devon McCormack
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Fired Up
- Fever Falls, Book 1
- By: Riley Hart
- Narrated by: Michael Dean
- Length: 7 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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If there's one thing I know, it's how to play the game...both on and off the field. If it hadn't been for that one teenage slipup where I kissed Beau Campbell, I'd be able to keep fooling myself. Football is the one thing I use to distract myself from the truth, and when I screw-up and lose the game I love, I find myself right back in Fever Falls. And right back face-to-face with Cranky Campbell, who hates me even more than he did when we were kids. But whatever magic he held over me then is still there.
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C#cky Carmichael and Cranky Campbell
- By Erryn Barratt on 02-21-19
By: Riley Hart
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Collide
- By: Riley Hart
- Narrated by: Luke Itzvic
- Length: 7 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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At 10 years old, Noah Jameson and Cooper Bradshaw collided midair when they dove for the same football. For three years they were inseparable...until one day when Noah and his parents disappeared in the middle of the night. Noah and Cooper never knew what happened to each other. Now, 17 years later, after finding his boyfriend in bed with another man, Noah returns to Blackcreek looking for a fresh start. And damned if he doesn't find his old friend grew up to be as sexy as sin.
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Amazing GFY/OFY with superb narration!
- By Morgan A Skye on 09-29-16
By: Riley Hart
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Something About You
- Saint & Lucky Series, Book 1
- By: Riley Hart
- Narrated by: Sean Crisden
- Length: 7 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Lucky Tyler Holloway has never felt particularly lucky. Frankly, he's as regular as can be. He works construction with his brothers, loves his small-town life, and shares a close bond with his family, especially his grandmother. Okay, so maybe he has a few secrets in his closet, like his bisexuality...and that other thing he doesn't talk about... Grayson "Saint" St. Claire has it all: a dream job in LA, money, freedom. Saint doesn't do attachments, which is just the way he likes it.
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Solid ending to a, sometimes, trying story
- By T. E. on 12-06-18
By: Riley Hart
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Broken Pieces
- By: Riley Hart
- Narrated by: Jack DuPont
- Length: 11 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Josiah Evans is the orphan who lost both his parents. He's sweet, shy, and all heart. He wants nothing more than to be loved. Mateo Sanchez is the son of a gang leader. He's seen it all, and never hesitates to do what needs to be done, no matter what it is. Tristan Croft is the wealthy attorney who clawed his way up from the bottom to rule his own world. He'll never depend on anyone but himself again.
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Teo is done to PERFECTION- awesome all around
- By Morgan A Skye on 09-28-16
By: Riley Hart
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Morgan
- The Swift Brothers, Book 1
- By: Riley Hart
- Narrated by: Gregory Salinas
- Length: 7 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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When I left Birchbark angry and heartbroken, I vowed never to return. Fate had other plans. The father I hate had a stroke, so now I'm back in the Upper Peninsula to take care of him. The locals treat Dad like royalty, while Dad vacillates between open anger and flat-out ignoring me. Throw in my messy relationship with my brothers, and being in Birchbark becomes unbearable.
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new favorite narrator, another heart wrenchingly good story from Riley Hart
- By Kitt on 06-10-24
By: Riley Hart
What listeners say about Beautiful Chaos
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- Patrick Gallanger
- 11-21-18
Dark, but powerful
I am really glad there was a pro-log on this book it helped setup the situation. The characters are amazing and the story was almost over powering. Very well done to Devon, Riley, and of course Michael.
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10 people found this helpful
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- Michael
- 01-30-19
One of the best books I have heard
This book had a good subject matter was written with great research care, and understanding. One of the best books I have read
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2 people found this helpful
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- ILoveBooksSue
- 12-04-18
Oh my broken heart!
This book...my heart broke for these 2 beautiful, broken men. The intense trauma both of them survived to then be able to find each other...breathtaking! Michael Pauley always delivers a stellar performance. I'm telling everyone how much I loved this book❤❤❤
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7 people found this helpful
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- Danyell
- 03-26-20
beautiful
this story was so great it made me cry and laugh I really felt their pain. the way they found one another in the dark and then decided if they were going to be together they had to fix themselves apart. that their love showed them they were only living a half life.
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- Placeholder
- 12-09-20
Mind blowing and so beautiful!
My first book by Riley and Devon and it literally blew my mind! Beyond beautiful! A phenomenal and wonderful story! Not for the faint of heart! An incredible emotional roller coaster! Probably my favorite book this year! I love it so much! Michael Dean is extraordinary! He is just exquisite! His voice helped me finish it! So much angst and such intense emotions! Thank you Riley, Devon, and Michael! You rock to the moon and back! Listen to this beautiful story! It’s so worth it!
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- M. Templin
- 04-13-22
Sad but Evocative Story
A gentle woven story of painful pasts and finding light. Not a story for the faint of heart
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- Sweetie Pooh
- 03-01-22
Beautiful story, can't stand the narrator
I liked the story and the characters and how they fell for one another a lot. I almost didn't finish it though because I didn't enjoy the narrator. I'm glad I did finish but I just couldn't stand the narrators sing songy, extra dramatic narration. As someone who is passionate about mental health, I appreciate how the story was told and some of the choices the characters made for themselves towards the end. Beautiful overall
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- Jason
- 03-04-22
Speechless!
After my first go at this type of genre-with "Still Your Guy"- I wasn't sure if another book would be just as satisfying. I should have known that given the more serious subject matter, it would be even more intense! This isn't for the faint of heart, and a full box of tissues are def recommended.
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I obviously have parts of Silas & Corey within me (fear, anxiety, a bipolar disorder, depression) and as such, while I listened with anxious anticipation to each new chapter, part of me worried about what the next page would unleash, almost to the point of dreading the unrealistic possibility of an unhappy ending. Could such pain & sadness turn into stronger happiness and acceptance?!
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The lives of these 2 characters were so beautifully flawed, realistic and equally balanced, how could you not fall in love with them and their love for each other, and be rooting for them to find their happily ever after?! How many people out there are also living their daily lives as a struggle due to the damage and harm inflicted at the hands of another? So many also more alone, or not as fortunate to find a hand reaching out to pull them up, or with the courage to say "I need help". There's a saying that goes something like, if we all had the opportunity to put our problems in a pile, then choose from all those stacks before us, we'd still choose our own, because we never really know the depths of what another is going through regardless of how it looks on the surface.
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Although I would love a sequel, I'm content knowing that the sky's the limit for Corey & Silas!
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As with the previous title, I just had to have the actual book to add to my budding collection, although part of me knows that once again, the amazing talents of narrator Michael Dean made this story that much better. I think listening to him read an old phone book would hold my attention, and probably turn me on nearly just as much! He's usually the first thing I look for when searching for my next romantic adventure.
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Thank you, Devon, Riley & Michael! ❤️❤️❤️
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- BW
- 12-03-20
I applaud the authors!
I originally purchased this as a Kindle book. I still have it and have read it more than once. I was excited to see it listed on Audible and to my hearts satisfaction I was not let down at all!
These two were able to show case the tragic issues of 2 men, bring them together to help start their healing. It was beautiful, it was chaos, it was a beautiful chaos! They were able to capture the thoughts and feeling of these two individual men like if it were a perfect storm. I could identify with them, and the feeling that made me feel someone finally understood me.
I will say if you have trigger points, this book is not for you at all. i luckily, do not have those trigger points in my life, but can identify with each character, the stories the feelings, the insecurities. Devon McCormack and Riley Hart, you deserve a standing ovation for this one! Well done!
The narrator: It was like a love/hate relationship through the entire book. I wanted to hate it, but then he did a scene that showcased the power of his voice. The climbing drama, fast paced dialog, the heartfelt breaths... the control ... my heart would race... my mind would was hanging on every word as his voice rose and fell with each climax of the story line.. and when we were back to the normal I was in awe of the way he controlled the story. I sat back in awe... my own body breathless and feeling like I had been through it with the character.
Then we were back to the normal dialog... and I wanted to love it... but his voice seemed almost weak. At times the warble that he has almost made it sound robotic, like when you use a computer generated voice to do the reading for you. The voice did not showcase the beautiful masculinity of the cover picture or even the strong domineering person that took control and dominated men during the video sessions or even when the 2 characters got together in the sexual scenes. He felt weak, he felt whimpy, he felt flat. There was that thing in his voice that kept me going, hanging on for the next dramatic pick me up that left me breathless.
I am not sure if it just the few that I have read, since I don't read many gay books between men, but I do occasionally dip my toes in Kindle books, but the samples and the couple books I have tried here on Audible the men seem... (I don't want to offend anyone, as it is not my intension to do so) but they seem obviously gay, flamboyant? Maybe that is a better word. I would have loved to have heard this book done with a more manly type style, but then I guess I would have really missed out on the power and control Michael Dean has over his voice.
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Overall
- Mary Flannery
- 12-18-18
Beautiful Chaos!
This is a moving story of two men who have been affected with horrible things that affected their .dental and physical health. Good with love
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