
AutoFellatio
A Memoir
Failed to add items
Add to Cart failed.
Add to Wish List failed.
Remove from wishlist failed.
Adding to library failed
Follow podcast failed
Unfollow podcast failed
$0.99/mo for the first 3 months

Buy for $11.80
No default payment method selected.
We are sorry. We are not allowed to sell this product with the selected payment method
-
Narrated by:
-
Nick Mercer
-
By:
-
James Maker
About this listen
"Apart from herpes and Lulu – everything is eventually swept away."
Just one shimmering pearl of wisdom from pop-star and polymath James Maker, whose worldly observations will (like herpes) once again be on everyone’s lips thanks to his award-winning memoir, remastered with new chapters.
If you hadn’t heard of rock bands Raymonde or RPLA – fronted by James in the 80s and 90s – you might be forgiven for mistaking AutoFellatio for fiction. But here fact is more fantastical than any novel. We follow our hero from Bermondsey enfant-terrible to Valencian grande dame, a scenic journey that stops off variously at Morrissey confidant, dominatrix, singer, songwriter.
It is literally littered with memorable bons mots and hilarious anecdotes that make you feel like you've hit the wedding-reception jackpot of being unexpectedly seated next to the groom's flamboyant uncle.
According to Wikipedia, very few men can perform the act of autofellatio. We never discover whether James is one of them but certainly, as a storyteller, he is one in a million.
James Maker first trod the boards in 1982 as dancer and backing vocalist with The Smiths, and was erroneously known as "The Fifth Smith". He subsequently became lyricist and lead singer with the 1980s Indie group, Raymonde, and 1990s "gay" Hard Rock group RPLA. In 2004, he supported the New York Dolls.
©2022 SAGA Egmont (P)2022 SAGA EgmontListeners also enjoyed...
-
Abroad in Japan
- By: Chris Broad
- Narrated by: Chris Broad
- Length: 8 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When Englishman Chris Broad landed in a rural village in northern Japan he wondered if he'd made a huge mistake. With no knowledge of the language and zero teaching experience, was he was about to be the most quickly fired English teacher in Japan's history? Abroad in Japan charts a decade of living in a foreign land and the chaos and culture clash that comes with it. Packed with hilarious and fascinating stories, this book seeks out to unravel one the world's most mysterious and impenetrable cultures.
-
-
Met Expectations
- By N. S. W. on 10-30-23
By: Chris Broad
-
Really Saying Something
- Sara & Keren – Our Bananarama Story
- By: Sara Dallin, Keren Woodward
- Narrated by: Sara Dallin, Keren Woodward
- Length: 6 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In the early '80s, best friends Sara Dallin and Keren Woodward arrived at the YWCA in London, with their sights set on careers in journalism and the media...but that wasn’t to be. London was the most vibrant and culturally innovative of places, and within the whirl of clubs, parties and new friends, a chance meeting with former Sex Pistol Paul Cook changed everything. Moving into Malcolm McLaren’s old office, they started rehearsing and singing background vocals for Paul’s new band before teaming up with Sara’s college friend Siobhan and forming their own group.
-
-
I LOVED IT !!
- By toritora on 01-12-22
By: Sara Dallin, and others
-
Coal Black Mornings
- By: Brett Anderson
- Narrated by: Brett Anderson, Matt Thorne
- Length: 4 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Listen to the end for an audiobook exclusive: Brett Anderson in conversation with Matt Thorne, author of Prince. Brett Anderson came from a world impossibly distant from rock star success, and in Coal Black Mornings he traces the journey that took him from a childhood as 'a snotty, sniffy, slightly maudlin sort of boy raised on Salad Cream and milky tea and cheap meat' to becoming founder and lead singer of Suede. Anderson grew up in Hayward's Heath on the grubby fringes of the Home Counties.
-
-
Engrossing and Inspiring
- By Martha Z on 11-08-19
By: Brett Anderson
-
Madly, Deeply
- The Diaries of Alan Rickman
- By: Alan Rickman, Emma Thompson - foreword, Rima Horton - afterword
- Narrated by: Alfred Enoch, Bonnie Wright, Rima Horton, and others
- Length: 19 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
From his breakout role in Die Hard to his outstanding, multifaceted performances in the Harry Potter films, Galaxy Quest, Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves, and more, Alan Rickman cemented his legacy as a world-class actor. His air of dignity, his sonorous voice, and the knowing wit he brought to each role continue to captivate audiences today. But Rickman’s ability to breathe life into projects wasn't confined to just his performances.
-
-
Save your time and your money
- By sharon elghanayan on 11-12-22
By: Alan Rickman, and others
-
Girl, Woman, Other
- By: Bernardine Evaristo
- Narrated by: Anna-Maria Nabirye
- Length: 11 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
From one of Britain's most celebrated writers of color, Girl, Woman, Other is a magnificent portrayal of the intersections of identity and a moving and hopeful story of an interconnected group of black British women. Winner of the 2019 Booker Prize and short-listed for the Gordon Burn Prize, Girl, Woman, Other paints a vivid portrait of the state of post-Brexit Britain, as well as looking back to the legacy of Britain's colonial history in Africa and the Caribbean.
-
-
smart, compassionate, confronting and enjoyable
- By Kelly on 12-20-19
-
Scattershot
- Life, Music, Elton, and Me
- By: Bernie Taupin
- Narrated by: John Lee, Bernie Taupin
- Length: 15 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
This is the memoir music fans have been waiting for. Half of one of the greatest partnerships in popular music, Bernie Taupin is the man who wrote the lyrics for Elton John, who conceived the ideas that spawned countless hits, and sold millions and millions of records. Together, they were a duo, a unit, an immovable object. Their extraordinary, half-century-and-counting creative relationship has been chronicled in biopics (like 2019's Rocketman) and even John's own autobiography, Me. But Taupin, a private person, has kept his own account of their adventures close to his chest, until now.
-
-
Not Boring, A Relaxing Listen
- By jipickin on 09-14-23
By: Bernie Taupin
-
Abroad in Japan
- By: Chris Broad
- Narrated by: Chris Broad
- Length: 8 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When Englishman Chris Broad landed in a rural village in northern Japan he wondered if he'd made a huge mistake. With no knowledge of the language and zero teaching experience, was he was about to be the most quickly fired English teacher in Japan's history? Abroad in Japan charts a decade of living in a foreign land and the chaos and culture clash that comes with it. Packed with hilarious and fascinating stories, this book seeks out to unravel one the world's most mysterious and impenetrable cultures.
-
-
Met Expectations
- By N. S. W. on 10-30-23
By: Chris Broad
-
Really Saying Something
- Sara & Keren – Our Bananarama Story
- By: Sara Dallin, Keren Woodward
- Narrated by: Sara Dallin, Keren Woodward
- Length: 6 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In the early '80s, best friends Sara Dallin and Keren Woodward arrived at the YWCA in London, with their sights set on careers in journalism and the media...but that wasn’t to be. London was the most vibrant and culturally innovative of places, and within the whirl of clubs, parties and new friends, a chance meeting with former Sex Pistol Paul Cook changed everything. Moving into Malcolm McLaren’s old office, they started rehearsing and singing background vocals for Paul’s new band before teaming up with Sara’s college friend Siobhan and forming their own group.
-
-
I LOVED IT !!
- By toritora on 01-12-22
By: Sara Dallin, and others
-
Coal Black Mornings
- By: Brett Anderson
- Narrated by: Brett Anderson, Matt Thorne
- Length: 4 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Listen to the end for an audiobook exclusive: Brett Anderson in conversation with Matt Thorne, author of Prince. Brett Anderson came from a world impossibly distant from rock star success, and in Coal Black Mornings he traces the journey that took him from a childhood as 'a snotty, sniffy, slightly maudlin sort of boy raised on Salad Cream and milky tea and cheap meat' to becoming founder and lead singer of Suede. Anderson grew up in Hayward's Heath on the grubby fringes of the Home Counties.
-
-
Engrossing and Inspiring
- By Martha Z on 11-08-19
By: Brett Anderson
-
Madly, Deeply
- The Diaries of Alan Rickman
- By: Alan Rickman, Emma Thompson - foreword, Rima Horton - afterword
- Narrated by: Alfred Enoch, Bonnie Wright, Rima Horton, and others
- Length: 19 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
From his breakout role in Die Hard to his outstanding, multifaceted performances in the Harry Potter films, Galaxy Quest, Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves, and more, Alan Rickman cemented his legacy as a world-class actor. His air of dignity, his sonorous voice, and the knowing wit he brought to each role continue to captivate audiences today. But Rickman’s ability to breathe life into projects wasn't confined to just his performances.
-
-
Save your time and your money
- By sharon elghanayan on 11-12-22
By: Alan Rickman, and others
-
Girl, Woman, Other
- By: Bernardine Evaristo
- Narrated by: Anna-Maria Nabirye
- Length: 11 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
From one of Britain's most celebrated writers of color, Girl, Woman, Other is a magnificent portrayal of the intersections of identity and a moving and hopeful story of an interconnected group of black British women. Winner of the 2019 Booker Prize and short-listed for the Gordon Burn Prize, Girl, Woman, Other paints a vivid portrait of the state of post-Brexit Britain, as well as looking back to the legacy of Britain's colonial history in Africa and the Caribbean.
-
-
smart, compassionate, confronting and enjoyable
- By Kelly on 12-20-19
-
Scattershot
- Life, Music, Elton, and Me
- By: Bernie Taupin
- Narrated by: John Lee, Bernie Taupin
- Length: 15 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
This is the memoir music fans have been waiting for. Half of one of the greatest partnerships in popular music, Bernie Taupin is the man who wrote the lyrics for Elton John, who conceived the ideas that spawned countless hits, and sold millions and millions of records. Together, they were a duo, a unit, an immovable object. Their extraordinary, half-century-and-counting creative relationship has been chronicled in biopics (like 2019's Rocketman) and even John's own autobiography, Me. But Taupin, a private person, has kept his own account of their adventures close to his chest, until now.
-
-
Not Boring, A Relaxing Listen
- By jipickin on 09-14-23
By: Bernie Taupin
-
Half Empty
- Essays
- By: David Rakoff
- Narrated by: David Rakoff
- Length: 6 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The inimitably witty David Rakoff, New York Times best-selling author of Don’t Get Too Comfortable, defends the commonsensical notion that you should always assume the worst, because you’ll never be disappointed. In this deeply funny (and, no kidding, wise and poignant) audiobook, Rakoff examines the realities of our sunny, gosh everyone-can-be-a-star contemporary culture and finds that, pretty much as a universal rule, the best is not yet to come, adversity will triumph, justice will not be served, and your dreams won’t come true.
-
-
A Good Friend I Never Met
- By Rodney on 08-14-12
By: David Rakoff
-
Between the Stops
- The View of My Life from the Top of the Number 12 Bus
- By: Sandi Toksvig
- Narrated by: Sandi Toksvig
- Length: 9 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
'Between the Stops is a sort of a memoir, my sort. It's about a bus trip really, because it's my view from the Number 12 bus (mostly top deck, the seat at the front on the right), a double-decker that plies its way from Dulwich, in South East London, where I was living, to where I sometimes work - at the BBC, in the heart of the capital. It's not a sensible way to write a memoir at all, probably, but it's the way things pop into your head as you travel, so it's my way'.
-
-
Funny, interesting and enlightening. A must listen.
- By Steve Killingback on 01-05-20
By: Sandi Toksvig
-
I Wanna Be Yours
- By: John Cooper Clarke
- Narrated by: John Cooper Clarke
- Length: 15 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
John Cooper Clarke is a phenomenon: Poet Laureate of Punk, rock star, fashion icon, TV and radio presenter, social and cultural commentator, reluctant national treasure. At 5 feet 11 inches (116lb, 32in chest, 27in waist), in trademark suit jacket, skin-tight drainpipes and dark glasses, with jet-black back-combed hair and mouth full of gold teeth, he is instantly recognisable. As a writer his voice is equally unmistakable and his inimitable dry Salford drawl shines through the prose.
-
-
Great narrative, best author-read bio since keef’s!
- By JoJo Dancer on 09-07-23
-
Glamour Ghoul
- The Passions and Pain of the Real Vampira, Maila Nurmi
- By: Sandra Niemi
- Narrated by: Beth Stewart
- Length: 11 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Maila Nurmi, the beautiful and sheltered daughter of Finnish immigrants, stepped off the bus in 1941 Los Angeles intent on finding fame and fortune. She found men eager to take advantage of her innocence and beauty but was determined to find success and love. Her inspired design and portrayal of a vampire won a costume contest that led to a small role on the Red Skelton show, which grew into a persona that brought her the notoriety she desired yet trapped her in a character she could never truly escape.
-
-
Terroriffic!!!
- By christopher j rago on 08-15-21
By: Sandra Niemi
-
Paul McCartney
- The Life
- By: Philip Norman
- Narrated by: Jonathan Keeble
- Length: 30 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Since the age of 21, Paul McCartney has lived one of the ultimate rock 'n' roll lives, played out on the most public of stages. Now Paul's story is told by rock music's foremost biographer, with McCartney's consent and access to family members and close friends who have never spoken on the record before.
-
-
Better than average McCartney bio
- By tru britty on 05-14-16
By: Philip Norman
-
Reborn in the USA
- An Englishman’s Love Letter to His Chosen Home
- By: Roger Bennett
- Narrated by: Roger Bennett
- Length: 9 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
One-half of the celebrated Men in Blazers duo, longtime culture and soccer commentator Roger Bennett traces the origins of his love affair with America, and how he went from a depraved, pimply faced Jewish boy in 1980’s Liverpool to become the quintessential Englishman in New York. A memoir for fans of Jon Ronson and Chuck Klosterman, but with Roger Bennett’s signature pop culture flair and humor.
-
-
Oklahoma loves you brother
- By Anonymous User on 06-30-21
By: Roger Bennett
-
Fraud
- By: David Rakoff
- Narrated by: David Rakoff
- Length: 4 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The wry and the heartfelt join in David Rakoff's prose to resurrect that most neglected of literary virtues: wit. As he finds himself in all the far-flung hinterlands of our culture, this fish out of water winds up satirizing himself more than his subject matter, to hilarious effect.
-
-
A View Off Skew
- By Mark on 08-16-03
By: David Rakoff
-
Baggage
- Tales from a Fully Packed Life
- By: Alan Cumming
- Narrated by: Alan Cumming
- Length: 8 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
There is absolutely no logical reason why I am here. The life trajectory my nationality and class and circumstances portended for me was not even remotely close to the one I now navigate. But logic is a science and living is an art. The release I felt in writing my first memoir, Not My Father’s Son, was matched only by how my speaking out empowered so many to engage with their own trauma. I was reminded of the power of my words and the absolute duty of authenticity.
-
-
Entertaining but a little Helter-Skelter
- By Deborah N on 11-16-21
By: Alan Cumming
-
No Cunning Plan
- By: Sir Tony Robinson
- Narrated by: Tony Robinson
- Length: 14 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Sir Tony Robinson is a much-loved actor, presenter and author with a stellar career lasting over 50 years. Now, in his long-awaited autobiography, he reveals how the boy from South Woodford went from child stardom in the first stage production of Oliver!, a pint-size pickpocket desperately bleaching his incipient moustache, to comedy icon Baldrick, the loyal servant and turnip aficionado in Blackadder.
-
-
Great audible book as read by Sir Tony Robinson
- By Michael Thomas Fortson on 04-15-21
-
Don't Get Too Comfortable (Unabridged Selections)
- The Indignities of Coach Class, The Torments of Low Thread Count, The Never- Ending Quest for Artisanal Olive Oil, and Other First World Problems
- By: David Rakoff
- Narrated by: David Rakoff
- Length: 4 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
David Rakoff's best-selling collection of autobiographical essays, Fraud, established him as one of today's funniest and most insightful writers. Now, in Don't Get Too Comfortable, Rakoff moves from the personal to the public, journeying into the land of unchecked plenty that is contemporary America. Rarely have greed, vanity, selfishness, and vapidity been so mercilessly and wittily skewered.
-
-
PJ O'Rourke has nothing to worry about
- By dgc on 10-07-05
By: David Rakoff
-
Backing into the Spotlight
- A Memoir
- By: Michael Whitehall
- Narrated by: Michael Whitehall, Jack Whitehall, Hilary Whitehall
- Length: 5 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Theatrical agent Michael Whitehall spent a career pushing others into the spotlight. He had been involved behind the scenes with the careers of many prominent actors, including Colin Firth, Richard Griffiths, Daniel Day-Lewis, Tom Courtenay, Ian Ogilvy, Judi Dench, Edward Fox, Michael Fassbender, Angela Thorne and Nigel Havers.
-
-
best audiobook out there
- By Conner Quinn on 11-03-18
-
David Jason: My Life
- By: David Jason
- Narrated by: Michael Fenton Stevens
- Length: 12 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The long-awaited autobiography of one of Britain’s best-loved actors. Born the son of a Billingsgate market porter at the height of the Second World War, David Jason spent his early life dodging bombs and bullies, both with impish good timing.
-
-
Entertaining account of a succesful showbiz career
- By D. M. Farmbrough on 04-18-21
By: David Jason
Critic reviews
Glitteringly epigrammatic, it’s a glam-rock Naked Civil Servant in court shoes. But funnier. And tougher.
-- Mark Simpson
Pistol sharp, loaded with witty one-liners and peppered with Maker’s scatter gun observations on life, music and the meaning of good hair.
-- Paul Burston