
At Dark, I Become Loathsome
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Narrated by:
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Andrew Eiden
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By:
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Eric LaRocca
About this listen
From Eric LaRocca—Bram Stoker Award–nominated and Splatterpunk Award–winning author of Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke—comes At Dark, I Become Loathsome, a grim yet gentle, horrifying yet hopeful, intense tale of death, trauma, and love.
“If you’re reading this, you’ve likely thought that the world would be a better place without you.”
A single line of text, glowing in the darkness of the internet. Written by Ashley Lutin, who has often thought the same—and worse—in the years since his wife died and his young son disappeared. But the peace of the grave is not for him—it’s for those he can help. Ashley has constructed a peculiar ritual for those whose desire to die is at war with their yearning to live a better life.
Struggling to overcome his own endless grief, one night Ashley finds connection with Jinx—a potential candidate for Ashley’s next ritual—who spins a tale both revolting and fascinating. Thus begins a relationship that traps the two men in an ever-tightening spiral of painful revelations, where long-hidden secrets are dragged, kicking and screaming, into the light.
Only through pain can we find healing. Only through death can we find new life.
Book discussion questions are available here: s3.us-west-2.amazonaws.com/www.blackstoneaudio.com/docs/At%20Dark%20I%20Become%20Loathsome%20Discussion%20Questions.pdf
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
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Story
In 1939, on a remote Pacific island, botanical researcher Irene Greer plunges off a waterfall to her death, convinced the spirits of her dead husband and daughter had joined the nightmarchers—ghosts of ancient warriors that rise from their burial sites on moonless nights. But was it suicide, or did a strange young missionary girl, Agnes, play a role in Irene's deteriorating state of mind?
By: J. Lincoln Fenn
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Victorian Psycho
- By: Virginia Feito
- Narrated by: Anna Burnett
- Length: 4 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Grim Wolds, England: Winifred Notty arrives at Ensor House prepared to play the perfect governess—she’ll dutifully tutor her charges, Drusilla and Andrew, tell them bedtime stories, and only joke about eating children. But long, listless days spent within the estate’s dreary confines come with an intimate knowledge of the perversions and pathetic preoccupations of the Pounds family—Mr. Pounds can’t keep his eyes off Winifred’s chest, and Mrs. Pounds takes a sickly pleasure in punishing Winifred for her husband’s wandering gaze.
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meh
- By Pamela Y. S. on 02-13-25
By: Virginia Feito
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The Lamb
- By: Lucy Rose
- Narrated by: Emma Rydal
- Length: 7 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Margot and Mama have lived by the forest ever since Margot can remember. When Margot is not at school, they spend quiet days together in their cottage, waiting for strangers to knock on their door. Strays, Mama calls them. People who have strayed too far from the road. Mama loves the strays. She feeds them wine, keeps them warm. Then she satisfies her burning appetite by picking apart their bodies. But Mama’s want is stronger than her hunger sometimes.
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This book ATE
- By Danielle Carney on 02-07-25
By: Lucy Rose
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An Ordinary Violence
- A Novel
- By: Adriana Chartrand
- Narrated by: LaNecia Edmonds
- Length: 7 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Dawn hasn't spoken to her brother, Cody, since he was sent to prison for a violent crime seven years ago. But when Dawn's seemingly perfect life in the big city implodes, she is forced to return to her childhood home and the prairie city that still holds so much pain for her and her fractured family. Cody is released from prison with a mysterious new friend by his side, and Dawn must follow increasingly sinister leads to uncover their nefarious plans to access a dangerous supernatural network.
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Beta Vulgaris
- A Novel
- By: Margie Sarsfield
- Narrated by: Ellen Archer
- Length: 8 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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Elise and her boyfriend, Tom, set off for Minnesota, hoping the paycheck from the sugar beet harvest will cover the rent on their Brooklyn apartment. Amidst the grueling work and familiar anxieties about her finances, Elise starts noticing strange things: threatening phone calls, a mysterious rash, and snatches of an ominous voice coming from the beet pile. When Tom and other coworkers begin to vanish, Elise is left alone to confront the weight of her past, the horrors of her uncertain future, and the menacing but enticing siren song of the beets.
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The awful personality of the main character.
- By Gina Q. on 02-16-25
By: Margie Sarsfield
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Listen to Your Sister
- A Novel
- By: Neena Viel
- Narrated by: Eric Lockley, Kristolyn Lloyd, Zeno Robinson
- Length: 11 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Twenty-five year old Calla Williams is struggling since becoming guardian to her brother, Jamie. Calla is overwhelmed and tired of being the one who makes sacrifices to keep the family together. When Jamie’s actions at a protest spiral out of control, the siblings must go on the run. Taking refuge in a remote cabin that looks like it belongs on a slasher movie poster rather than an AirBNB, the siblings now face a new threat where their lives–and reality–hang in the balance. Their sister always warned them about her nightmares. They really should have listened.
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Great story and excellent performances
- By S K on 02-24-25
By: Neena Viel
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You've Lost a Lot of Blood
- By: Eric LaRocca
- Narrated by: Eric Michael Summerer
- Length: 4 hrs
- Unabridged
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Each precious thing I show you in this book is a holy relic from the night we both perished—the night when I combed you from my hair and watered the moon with your blood.
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couldn't tell you what this story is about
- By Candice Clemons on 04-06-24
By: Eric LaRocca
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The Contortionist's Handbook
- A Novel
- By: Craig Clevenger
- Narrated by: Ray Porter
- Length: 6 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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John Dolan Vincent was born with an extra ring finger on one hand. He was an abnormally gifted child with a proclivity for mathematics beyond his years, but he lacked social skills. Childhood ridicule and a difficult family life led him to use his talents in adulthood for criminal acts of forgery. When he starts getting untreatable migraines, his self-medication results in overdosing which sends him repeatedly to the emergency room.
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I am Jack's utter lack of imagination
- By Aaron on 08-14-10
By: Craig Clevenger
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The Woods All Black
- By: Lee Mandelo
- Narrated by: Charli Burrow
- Length: 4 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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The Woods All Black is a story of passion, prejudice, and power—an Appalachian period piece that explores reproductive justice and bodily autonomy, the terrors of small-town religiosity, and the necessity of fighting tooth and claw to live as who you truly are.
By: Lee Mandelo
What listeners say about At Dark, I Become Loathsome
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Anonymous User
- 02-21-25
If you want to feel weirded out and read about loss, this is it
This was different. It was a unique take on someone who has been ravaged by loss and tries to find the thing that keeps them going. Although the two side stories do give context to the plot, I believe they took up too much space in relation to the length of the main plot. There could’ve been more done there to keep the audience going. Nonetheless- creepy, disgusting, sexual, agonizing, and a great listen (loved the narrator). Overall I’d say a 7.8-7.9/10
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- Andres Matinez
- 02-13-25
Dark tragedy dealing with loss and death
The story was good and the characters are tragic but it’s a great story told by Mr Larooca
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- Isaac B. Loredo
- 03-14-25
There’s always a first
This is the first audiobook I read that’s is more thriller or like spooky vibes, and I have to say it was so good! Like wow must hear or read 🔥
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- Adam Rodriguez
- 03-18-25
The reader ! His voice was nice and didn’t bore me.
The story was okay, and good. Would not re read. But it was a good story.
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- Christemba
- 04-01-25
this is so dark
I kept hoping for redemption. this was so dark and I thought about not finishing it several times. I don't think I've ever read or listened to anything quite like this. I don't know that I ever want to do it again. it's incredibly well done, but beware cuz it will take you to a dark place. it's got wrenching and sad and it stays there and it holds you in that grasp. wow! I kept hoping for redemption this was so dark and I thought about not finishing it several times I don't think I've ever read or listened to anything quite like this I don't know that I ever want to do it again it's incredibly well done but beware cuz it will take you to a dark place it's got wrenching and sad and it stays there and it holds you in that grass well
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- jfkreuz
- 03-16-25
unbelievably annoying
a good story ruined by irritating repetitive "artistic" choices. I would've enjoyed this story if the author hadn't kept repeating the title over and over again every other sentence. it must've been annoying to type it but Im sure copy and paste made it a little easier. other obnoxious unnecessary repetition, an online chat where the entire chat handle is repeated after every sentence. it's repeated probably 60 + times in the span of a 10 minute aside. when reading this you would just skip over it but as an audio book you have to hear the narrator repeat it over and over in a slightly more intense manor suggestions that the repetition is somehow elevating the over all experience. it really doesn't. its just annoying.
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- Amanda
- 02-10-25
DNF
Narrator is good, premise is good. I dont want to listen to the detailed abuse of dogs. After the 2nd description of killing a dog I DNF'd. A trigger warning would have stopped me from spending the money at all.
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- Ksquared
- 04-15-25
so repetitive it was nauseating
couldn't even focus on the story due to the constant repetition. ok I get...at dark you become loathsome. gosh. and the instant messenger section...don't think it was necessary to read each person's screen name before literally each couple of words, that was the string that broke for me and I just had to stop.
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- Scentart
- 02-22-25
yuck. what a time suck
Bad, dark, violent. Who masturbates to illness? Waste of talent 9pn the author's part? I need a shower
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