1000 Ideas: Confuse a Time Traveler Audiobook By Sam Raven cover art

1000 Ideas: Confuse a Time Traveler

Because confusing a time traveler is half the fun.

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1000 Ideas: Confuse a Time Traveler

By: Sam Raven
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About this listen

What do you say to someone who just stumbled out of a wormhole wearing a powdered wig and asking for directions to the moon? This book has you covered. 1000 Ideas To Confuse a Time Traveler is your ultimate guide to gleeful chaos across the ages — packed with anachronisms, fake technologies, impossible foods, and paradoxes designed to make any time-hopping visitor question reality itself.

Whether you want to convince a Victorian scholar that ducks are government agents or teach a Renaissance knight the rules of “quantum baseball,” these ideas blur the lines between now, then, and never. Equal parts comedy, curiosity, and chronologically-inaccurate nonsense, this book is perfect for pranksters, writers, history nerds, sci-fi fans, or anyone who enjoys making sense sound optional.

Just remember: time travel is risky. Confusing a time traveler? That’s an art.
  • 🧃 Juice Box Ritual (Out-of-Time Objects) – A mysterious foil-and-plastic cube believed to contain preserved fruit souls, pierced with a sacred straw.

  • 🔋 The Infinite Battery (Fake Future Tech) – A power source that never runs out… because it was never actually connected to anything.

  • ⚔️ Napoleonic Jedi Duel (Historical Mix-Ups) – A legendary battle where 18th-century French generals dueled with lightsabers atop a steam-powered zeppelin.

  • 🎤 Lord Cloutington (Celebrity Confusion) – A 17th-century poet-rapper who wore powdered wigs, dropped sick couplets, and invented the word “swag.”

  • 🕺 The Annual Dance of the Spoon (Strange Traditions) – A midnight ritual where villagers hop in circles while balancing spoons on their heads to ensure good weather.

  • 🚫 Don’t Blink on Tuesdays (Temporal Taboo) – A strictly forbidden time travel rule enforced by no one and understood by fewer.

  • 🔁 This Sentence Was Written Tomorrow (Paradox Puzzles) – And you will have already misunderstood it when you were about to read it.

  • 🧘 “Just Manifest It” (Absurd Advice from the Present) – Sage modern wisdom about achieving goals by simply pretending they’ve already happened. Works best for tax evasion and teleportation.

  • 🗣️ “Excuse me, are you my future grandchild?” (Conversations Gone Wrong) – A great icebreaker to ensure permanent social discomfort.

  • 🍕 Quantum Pizza (Chrono-Cuisine) – Toppings include stardust, extinct bird pepperoni, and olives that haven’t evolved yet.

Literature & Fiction Satire
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