New Releases

We feel love. We spread love. We hide it away. We find love, fall in it, and get stuck in it. Love hurts, it stinks and it heals. There are lovebugs, love birds and puppy love. There are labors of love and tough love. We have love-hate relationships. We find one to love and sometimes create love triangles. We can make love and make a love child. Kids love sugar, and love can be pretty sweet. Love is the answer. Love is all we need. It’s so fine, it’s sunshine. Love is the light. Love is the way.

Alright, let’s talk about something that’s both a little uncomfortable and incredibly liberating: exposing yourself in the nude. I know, I know—you probably just squirmed a little. You might be thinking, “Kristin, there’s no way this is going to be as fun as you’re making it sound.” But hear me out, because living life without clothes—truly exposing yourself—might be one of the most freeing, fun, and unexpectedly life-changing experiences you can have. Let’s break it down. We live in a world where clothes are the first thing we put on in the morning and the last thing we...

“Where trouble melts like lemon drops, high above the chimney tops that's where you'll find me…” Who hasn’t fantasized about being able to soar like a bird? This story told by Paula begins with her journey to Camp Hackenspit, where she meets and is forced to tolerate the two-day car trip in the company of the most annoying boy she had ever met, 13-year-old Beanie Conway. She thinks he is juvenile, irresponsible, and certainly not someone that she wants to spend her summer around. Paula’s fortunes do not improve once they arrive at Camp Hackenspit. She, along with five other girls ...

In HodgePodge, best-selling author Robert Urban once again shows his mastery of blending his authenticity, irreverent humor, brilliance and unique perspective to create a book about the realities of life. Robert shares his most intimate sometimes uproarious, sometimes tragic, but always poignant experiences and thoughts about parenting, death, god, groupies, dating, drug addiction and other topics. Critics have described this book as an "R rated version of Chicken Soup for the Soul".

A captivating comedy about a man—rooted in the Sixties—who must choose between his career and the people he loves.

From the bestselling author of Bitches Love Cheddar Biscuits, My Roller Coaster Life and HodgePodge comes a deeply relatable book filled with humorous stories about life and the people we meet in it. From events familiar to all of us-like a bad breakup- to the wilder stories of Chinese women drugging him or interactions with carnival workers, nuns and even the Devil himself, Robert Urban keeps you captivated and laughing out loud as he brings you along the journey of his hilarious and thought provoking recollections of various events in his life.

In Robert Urban’s 9th book he once again shows why he is often considered the king of short form comedy writing. Wisecracker is the literary equivalent of sharing a beer with your funniest friend—the one who always has a story to tell. With a sharp wit and a gift for transforming everyday nonsense into laugh-out-loud moments, Urban weaves a series of short, comedic essays, recollections and stories that explore the absurdities of modern life, relationships, and the occasional crisis. His humor is often irreverent and always brutally honest. Beneath the jokes, there’s also a surprising...

A season-ending party is to be held at Highfart Hall. To his surprise, Dr Platupous, a quietly suffering, quietly balding, always anxious private practitioner of medicine, receives an invitation. Once inside the hall, his bravery, perseverance and gelatinous backbone will be put to the test as never before. There, within its walls, he is subjected to the mad whims, snobbery and open hostility of the Highfarts amidst the backdrop of inexplicable disruptions to the space-time continuum. In a place where madness reigns and his senses are left reeling, Dr Platupous comes to an inescapable ...

"I have seen people swarm around you like bees on a honeycomb", says martin to his old friend Jimmy, "what is it that you give them, which makes them like you so much? There certainly must be something interesting they are getting from you, can I get a piece of that too? Please tell me something funny, it could be anything, a story, a joke, a riddle, a phrase, just anything," pleads martin with now reluctant Jimmy, "all right then", replies the latter, just remember that I am no Comedian, hold your ears wide open, and be ready to laugh at anything I do or say, deal or no deal?" "yeah you ...

Never marry a tennis player. Love means nothing to them. I think I might have scoliosis. How do I know? Let’s just say, I have a hunch. I just heard there's a nudist's convention next week. I might go if I've got nothing on. Do you think oranges become juice willingly? Or are they getting pressured into it? I have a phobia of speed bumps, but I’m slowly getting over it. Seriously, what are Roman numerals actually good IV? I got a rejection letter from the origami university today. I’m not sure what to make of it. --------- This book contains some jokes which may be unsuitable for kids...

UPCOTE, a self-styled gentleman of leisure who subsidises his state hand-outs with a little wheeling and dealing on the side meets the struggling SMYTHE and sets out to help his young protégé of fifty-three fulfil his true and hitherto well-concealed potential. With the help of Upcote’s indomitable Aunt Mabel and under the sceptical scrutiny of coin-obsessed café owner Bob, the two men set out to put their sartorial and cultural superiority on a sound financial footing. Dodging the slings and arrows of outraged punters our two heroes push, swerve and stumble onwards towards their dream...

Attorney Carl Danson wakes up on his eightieth birthday and quickly realizes that he has finally gone bat-shit crazy when the skin tag on Carl's waist introduces himself as Drake and begins to have conversations with Carl. Even worse, Drake proves to be a terrible influence and talks Carl into doing ridiculous pranks whenever alcohol is involved. Will this unusual duo wind up committed to an institution, or can their new friendship actually bring them comfort? ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Lance Majestik is a pen name used by retired Canadian lawyer Donald W. Desaulniers as a means of publishing a few ...

VEGAN VAMPIRES comedy play (with the Serenity Song) was inspired by my friend Fergus. He had just finished his play “The Night Vampires went after The Pope” and wanted me to publish it for him. I didn't know much about formatting a play and I had to learn this before publication so I looked at some published plays to learn a little more about formatting and became interested in writing one myself. I have several spy novels under my belt but love comedy so, just for something to do, I sat down at my computer and ideas started forming to create the short play “Vegan Vampires – Drac is...

When your arch-nemesis dies and she still won't leave you alone. It's safe to say, Joyce and I don't get along. She's two-faced, for a start. So when she does me a solid and takes a drunken tumble and dies, I can finally forget all about her. Not that I wanted her dead. But peace isn’t on the cards for long because Joyce isn’t really gone. For reasons known only to the twisted universe, she’s come back to haunt me. Now, I can’t get a moment’s peace—not even in the bathroom—because this needy, ghostly, zombie version of Joyce follows me everywhere. And to make matters worse, ...

The Laird’s Brawny Bairns and the Bonniest Lass in Scotland A Highland Romance… Sort Of. Hoots ma' Granny! If ye enjoyed The Porridge Eaters of Strathclyde - then here's another ridiculous plot from the pen of Bonnie McSwoon. In the misty, rugged Highlands of Scotland, where men are braw, lassies are bonnie, and kilts are suspiciously wind-resistant, Laird Angus McHaggis-McBroadsword III rules his clan with an iron fist—and an even ironier six-pack. But when he learns that Lady Mhairi MacThistle—the fiercest, most untameable lass in all of Scotland—is being forced into marriage ...

The author of this unfortunate tale should have known the dangers of the sea, but armed with a little knowledge and a bit too much faith in his own ability, he decided to jump into a boat and sail away. This is the very true story (I’m sad to say) of sailing the yacht called 'Solo' alone. Never having owned a boat before and after only a few weeks trying to learn the intricacies of sailing a small eighteen-foot six-inch craft. The sailor of Solo finds himself two miles out to sea and quietly wondering: what the hell was he doing there?... The plan was a quick dash around the Kent coast to...

These are my unproduced, or “spec” screenplays, I still own all rights to both. Angel Cake is a live action comedy, about a mean, selfish boss lady forced into the role of afterlife guardian. Spidernauts is for animation, it’s a family adventure comedy about spiders on board a space transport who are forced to save the mission when the human crew falls ill. It made the semifinals in the Austin Screenplay Shootout and was pretty well received by a few animation studio execs, more than one of whom commented that it reads too much like a Pixar project for their studio. Unfortunately ...

It began with a stone. Not Ancient, Not Marked, Just there, Half buried in the cold sand, glowing faintly like it knew it had been seen. Rochelle wasn’t looking for anything. She was walking to clear her head, the way you do when life gets too loud. A wind-swept beach. A stretch of grey sky. The silence made you feel both small and alive. That’s all she wanted. Then the Stone Warm to the touch, like I had a pulse. Gold veining through it, alive in a way rock shouldn’t be. She picked it up, and the world moved, Shifted, unlatched. And just like that, Rochelle wasn’t in Normandie ...